Stairway to Escher

BallFiend did a drawing today... whipped it up in a minute or two, while he was waiting for a ride on the kiddie-train at Santaland in a Melbourne department store. At the time, I didn't even look at it, just grabbed it and shoved it in the bag as we hurried off when his turn came up.

It wasn't until we were back at home and he explained it to me that I realised it was pretty clever for a 5 year old...

"It's a staircase. And you can turn it this way [he rotates the paper 180 degrees] and it's the same staircase." he explained.

I showed DeepSpice when he got home from work, who promptly recognised it as rotational symmetry.

It's looking like BallFiend is going to have greater mathematical aptitude than his mother!
--

bum bum apple mum

"Good night. I love you. I hope you sleep well bum bum apple mum [or dad]."
- Thumper saying goodnight to me [or DeepSpice]... this has been standard, every night for the past few weeks.

--

Thumper's first (real) spew

Despite her proficiency with 'spewing' as a baby, Thumper has never actually vomited in her two-and-a-bit years. That all changed today...

Gran was walking home with Thumper in the stroller after visiting Auntie Isobel, when Thumper (who had complained of feeling uncomfortable earlier) vomited all over her blankie, the outside of her clothes, the inside of her clothes and the stroller.

Not sure why she got sick - she had been fine in the morning when Gran collected her (I was taking BallFiend to school for his final orientation session then going to work, so Thumper was spending the day with Gran and GrandPaul).

Apparently she didn't eat for the rest of the day, but when I got back to pick her up after work, she was starting to perk up. She ate a full dinner (which worries me a little... what sort of a night am I in for!), had a bath, and seemed almost back to normal - though was quite a lot more snuggly than usual.

And so another childhood milestone is achieved. We've done well, considering BallFiend had his first vomit on his first birthday.
--

Nearly a school kid

I took BallFiend to his new school today for the fifth and final orientation session. So far, he has been twice in August (a one-hour music session, and a one-hour library session), once in October (a one-hour 'hang-out in the classroom' session) and once in November (for another 'hang-out' session). Today was a slightly longer (90 minute) session for the kids met their home group teacher and the other kids in their home group*. BallFiend has been placed in a home group with several other boys from his creche, including one boy that he is particularly chummy with, MasterN and his teacher is Nerida.

Gran collected Thumper at 8.30 am (because after dropping BallFiend off at school, I was going to a 'planning day' at work). The orientation session started at 9.30 am, so it was almost like the real thing... I was taking BallFiend to school, then heading off to work.

We left home at about 9.10 am, caught a tram 5 stops down the road, then did the short walk to school (about 10 minutes). I took BallFiend into his classroom, settled him in, kissed him and said goodbye. Then I walked out of the school gate, back to the tram stop (only took about 5 minutes this time) and went to work.

I didn't really feel sad when I left BallFiend at school but it all felt very surreal... just leaving him there like that. The doors are open and the gates are unlocked. There was nothing to keep him in. Someone had warned me about that a while ago... at creche there's two doors to get past, both with pin-code locks. At school... nothing!


GrandPaul picked BallFiend up at 11.00 am and apparently BallFiend 'couldn't remember' anything about his time in the Prep room. I got the same story when I got back from work:
"BallFiend, how was your day at Prep? What did you do?"
"Oh, I can't remember." replied BallFiend.
A bit later he came up with a few sketchy details (after quite a bit of prompting on my part):

• "There were no balls."
• "I played blocks that had plastic inside and wood outside."
• "There were no toys because they forgot to put them out. But there will be toys next year."
• "We read a story."
• And most importantly: "I did farts with MasterN".

*The school doesn't have 'classes' or 'classrooms'. Instead a group of about 20 kids is a 'home group', and there are 2 - 3 Prep home groups in the learning community (the physical space, kind of like a classroom). The whole of Prep (there are 5 home groups in total) form the Prep learning community. It sounds very different, and it is. At the school information evening, the Principal used the RSA Changing Education Paradigms video clip to explain the school's philosophy and approach.
--

Look what I found!

"Mum, come and see the new circus trick I found in my body!"
- BallFiend

Yep, I was woken this morning to share in BallFiend's discovery of yet another thing he could do with balls - stand on them, using the side of Thumper's cot as a support intermittently.
--

Crashed out

Got home from the end of year party for the playgroup-which-morphed-into-a-bookgroup at 3.00 pm with a worn out family. Put Thumper to bed for a nap, but a few minutes later she was crying so DeepSpice went in to trouble-shoot. Twenty minutes later, he still hadn't returned, so I went in to investigate. Thumper was soundly asleep... and so was DeepSpice, crashed out on BallFiend's bed.
--

The apple did it

I arrived at creche to pick up the kids (5.45 pm - late thanks to a crappy, broken down tram).

One of the carers came over to me and said "BallFiend had a broken tooth today."

My immediate reaction was to freak out a bit... my brain started rattling off questions (is he hurt? how did it happen? why didn't anyone phone me? what about the professional family photos we are booked in for tomorrow!), while my mouth was speechless.

Then I remembered the wobbly tooth he has had for the past few weeks. "Do you mean his wobbly tooth fell out?" I asked the carer.

She confirmed that yes, she meant that his tooth had fallen out.

Seconds later, BallFiend spotted me from across the playground and came running over to share his exciting news. He was closely followed by two friends who were quick to confirm his story and regale me with eye-witness accounts. Eventually through the cacophany, I worked out that BallFiend had been eating an apple and the tooth came out in it. (Classic!)

BallFiend was ecstatic with excitement... I thought I might nearly cry. He's only five and a half... aren't teeth meant to start falling out when kids are six years old? Oh well... he's just growing up way too quick for me! 

Anyway, must go... gotta make a booking with the tooth-fairy.

--

Contemplating having children?

Lesson 1

1. Go to the supermarket.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office. 
3. Go home. 
4. Pick up the paper. 
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience. 
3. Appallingly low tolerance levels. 
4. Allowing their children to run wild.

Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3 To discover how the nights will feel...

1. Walk around the living room from 5 PM to 10 PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2. At 10PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1 AM. 
4. Set the alarm for 3 AM. 
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2 AM and make a drink. 
6. Go to bed at 2:45 AM. 
7. Get up at 3 AM when the alarm goes off. 
8. Sing songs in the dark until 4 AM. 
9. Get up. Make breakfast. 

Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer. 
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed. 
4. Then rub them on the clean walls. 
5. Cover the stains with crayons. 

How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out. 

Time allowed for this: all morning.

Lesson 6

1. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator.
2. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. 
3. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of CocoaPuffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

Lesson 7
Forget the BMW and buy a stationwagon. And don't think that you can Leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the cassette player. 
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. 
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

There... Perfect.

Lesson 8
Get ready to go out.

1. Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.
2. Go out the front door.
3. Come in again.
4. Go out.
5. Come back in.
6. Go out again.
7. Walk down the front path.
8. Walk back up it.
9. Walk down it again.
10. Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps.
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
14. Give up and go back into the house. 

You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9
Repeat everything at least, if not more than, five times.

Lesson 10
Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a preschool child. (A full-grown goat is excellent.) If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.

Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 11

1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half just throw up in the air. 

You are now ready to feed a 12-month-old baby.

Lesson 12
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney, TeleTubbies, and Disney. Watch nothing else on TV for at least five years.

Lesson 13
Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down in and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for two years.

Lesson 14
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mummy" repeatedly. Important: No more than a four second delay between each "mummy"; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required.)

Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt sleeve, or elbow while playing the "mummy" tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Lesson 16
Put on your finest work attire. Pick a day in which you have an important meeting.

1. Take a cup of cream, and put 1 cup lemon juice in it.
2. Stir.
3. Dump it on your nice shirt. Also, saturate a towel with this mixture.
4. Attempt to wipe it off with this towel.
5. Do not change. You have no time.
6. Go directly to work.

Lesson 17
Go for a ride, but first...

1. Find one large tomcat and six pitbulls.
2. Borrow a child safety seat and put it in the back seat of your car. 
3. Put the pitbulls in the front seat of your car. 
4. While holding something fragile or delicate, strap the cat into the child seat. For the really adventurous... Run some errands, remove and replace the cat at each stop.

You are now ready to have kids!
--

Why Parents Drink

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.

"Hello?"

"Is your daddy home?" he asked.

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?"

The child whispered, "No."

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mummy there?"

"Yes."

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No."

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"

"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman."

Wondering what a policeman would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy", whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?"

"Talking to Mommy and Daddy and the Fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"

"A hello-copper" answered the whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle:

"me"

--

Imitation is the highest form of flattery

In an effort to convince Thumper to leave a hair clip in her hair (to keep her hair out of her eyes), I put the hair clip in to my hair. She looked up at me and smiled, and said in a very matter-of-fact way: "You look like a baby."
--

Grey or Brown

Overall, Thumper is great with her colours - she can correctly identify pretty much all of them, and has been able to do so for at least 4 or 5 months now. However, in the bath tonight, Thumper was playing with four plastic blocks: three blue ones and one grey one. She held a blue one up and said "This is blue." I agreed with her that it was indeed blue. Then she held the grey one up and said "This is brown."

I find this interesting because BallFiend did exactly the same thing - always said that brown was grey (and in fact, he still does occasionally). One of the carers at his creche is from Eritrea and another from India; both have quite dark brown skin and I distinctly remember BallFiend describing their skin as grey.
--

Staging a production

Thumper, annoyed at my asking her not to throw the contents of the kitchen drawers across the room, lay down on her tummy and starting doing a pathetic grizzle. After a minute, she realised that I wasn't paying attention and called out to me "I have to have a trantrum. I have to cry."
--

Merricks Beach trip

With a public holiday last Tuesday, it would have been unAustralian for DeepSpice not to take the Monday off, so with little urging from me, he did and we wisely used the opportunity to get out of town for a four-day weekend. Despite only trying to book a few weeks in advance, I had managed to find a lovely beach house at Merricks Beach. I'm not going to say exactly where it is, because it was so good, I don't want to share it with anyone else! But here's a couple of photos...

View from the front verandah.

Back deck and beautiful native Australian back yard.

Unlike previous holiday departures, when we usually end up leaving at about 1 pm, we actually managed to leave within 30 minutes of my planned departure time of 10 am and were sitting down to enjoy lunch at our beach house by 1 pm. 

Then, at BallFiend's insistence, it was straight off to the beach. It was only 18 degrees but the sun was shining, and it wasn't long before BallFiend had rolled up his pants for a paddle. Thumper spent the first 10 minutes clinging to my leg, scared because it was "too noisy" - she didn't like the noise of the waves lapping on the shore! But it was wasn't long before she too was paddling. 

And of course, it was then only minutes until both kids had "fallen" (ie. deliberately sat) down fully clothed. We had come down prepared for a walk and some sand-castle building, not for two drenched kids. So I walked back to the beach house for towels and a change of clothes. After a some more serious sand-castle building, we eventually convinced them it was time to go and get some dinner. Back at the beach house, we stood the kids at the back door, and literally hosed them down to get all the sand off. Despite having paddled in the freezing water at the beach, they complained that the hose-water was too cold!

After dinner, we took the kids out for a short walk around the local area, and they were very excited to see lots of rabbits nibbling away on lawns and shrubs. Thus began Thumper's (and to a less extent, BallFiend's) weekend-long obsession with bunnies... we saw them frequently on the back lawn at our house. I'm sure the locals and the farmers in the area hate them, but it was a real novelty for our city-dwelling kids.

As it turns out, it was a good thing we spent Saturday at the beach, because for the rest of the weekend, the weather was miserable - raining and grey, with occasional breaks when the Sun would peak through long enough to give a glimmer of hope, before disappearing back behind the clouds. 

So on Sunday, we went for a drive in search of "the chocolate factory" mentioned in the "Things to Do" notes at the beach house. Apparently it was only 100m from the Merricks General Wine Store. The MGWS was just a few minutes drive away and also happened to be a wine-tasting venue for three local vineyards. After dutifully tasting some rather nice wines (and purchasing a few!), I enquired about the whereabouts of the chocolate factory. I was informed that the chocolate factory is now at Flinders, about a 20 minute drive away. BallFiend was not going to be easily dissauded, so we continued on our way... 

Flinders is a lovely little village to visit and there were a lot of people wandering around the main street shops. It was surprisingly hard to park but we eventually found a spot, right next to where a local community group were holding a fund-raising sausage sizzle (much to the delight of BallFiend, Thumper and DeepSpice). I left them to their sausages and ate one of the rolls I had packed. Then we joined the throngs wandering along main street, until we reached the chocolate factory. It turned out to be a chocolate shop, with the factory part sitting idle out the back. BallFiend and Thumper were each indulged with a chocolate car and a chocolate frog respectively, whilst DeepSpice and I each had a macron (nice, but not a patch on Choukette's!). With the kids happily munching on their chocolates, I left them with DeepSpice in a park and took the opportunity to browse through a couple of boutiques. Found some lovely earrings, on sale too! 

On our return journey, we stopped by the Ashcombe Maze, but as we arrived, it started absolutely bucketing down and then a bus load of Japanese tourists turned up, so we decided it would be best to leave the maze (and it's exhorbitant admission fees) for another day. Later in the afternoon, we enjoyed the company of The Bibliophile and her family, who were staying at their nearby hobby farm for the weekend. BallFiend and Thumper were very excited to see MasterW and LittleMissIz, and us 'groan-ups' were pleased to be able snatch a few moments of peace (in between the kids' interruptions) to enjoy a glass of wine and some adult conversation. 

On Monday morning, I took the kids down to the beach to poke around in the rock pools, leaving DeepSpice behind to have some time to himself. Thumper was terrified of all the dogs being walked along the beach and insisted I pick her up whenever one came into sight. But apart from this, she walked the entire way from our beach house, along the beach, and back again - at least 500m in each direction, plus the wandering around at the rock pools, and the extra 200m or so she did when she decided to 'run away' from BallFiend and me as we were walking back. 

BallFiend watches on as Thumper runs away. He then starts to get worried, and goes after her.
Then stops and urges me to go after her. (I stood my ground and she eventually came back.)

The rest of the day was spent lazing about doing nothing much... or at least, if we did do something of interest, I can't remember what it was! 

Thumper, unsurprising after her long walk, had a big, big sleep.

Then we went out for dinner at The Hertiage, a local restaurant/pub. The kids were served up the most enormous bowl of spaghetti bolognese each and surprising managed to eat about 90% of it. Then BallFiend ordered a choc-top ice cream for dessert. After meticulously picking all the chocolate off the top, he decided he didn't want the ice cream. Thumper was only too happy to oblige, leaving BallFiend to finish of the cone and DeepSpice and I to recite Jack Sprat. The owner, Glenda, came over to comment on our beautifully behaved children and gave them a little bag with crayons, stickers and activity sheets to keep them entertained. Overall, a surprisingly relaxing meal out, given we had children in tow.

In the morning of our last day on the Peninsula, The Bibliophile organised for us all to meet for breakfast at the Somers General Store, which was of course followed by a mandatory (thanks BallFiend) walk/play on the beach. Then it was back to our beach house to pack up. Whilst outside, loading up the car, I noticed a strange brown lump on the path and went over to investigate. A small ball of fur was just quietly sitting there and didn't even move when I approached.

Thinking it might be an injured or dead animal (I seem to attract 'em for some reason), I went over to investigate, but it suddenly got timid and scurried away into the agapanthas. I went back a few minutes later and found it out on the path again, and was able to get a much better photo:

After a quick bit of research on the Web, I reckon it might be a bush rat. 

The drive home was an easy 90 minute trip - thanks to EastLink and an endless suppply of cruskits to keep the kids from grumbling - and we were home by about 3pm. However, once we had unpacked the car, I discovered the full extent of the cruskit crumbs and so spent the next hour and a half vacuuming and wiping out the interior of the car! All worth it though. Can't wait to go back!
--

The big dry

Went in to wake Thumper from her afternoon nap today at about 3.45 pm. She had been a bit difficult about settling down to sleep when I put her in the cot at about 2 pm - I had heard her playing for a while and moving about. So I was, at the very least, expecting to find her asleep upside down in the cot with a foot or two hanging out between the bars.

I certainly was not expecting to find a completely naked child, curled up sound asleep in the top corner of her cot, with her nappy in another corner of the cot and her dress thrown out on the floor! 

My first thought was: wet sheets and blankets! But to my surprise, she hadn't even wet the nappy, let alone the sheets. She had been changed into the nappy at about 12.45 pm (just before I left StompyDad's house, where we had been visiting that morning). It was now several hours later but she was completely dry.

So I got her up and put her on the potty. Still the drought did not break. Back into a nappy and off to Gran and GrandPaul's house for swim then dinner. Even more surprising, when Gran removed that nappy, at about 4.30 pm, it was still dry too.

I can't help but think this child is cleverer that she is letting on: that she knows exactly how to use a potty, but she is just choosing not to. I admire her spirit.


--

Puddle

This morning, both kids were still asleep at 8.00 am, so I had the pleasure of being the one to wake them up... it's nice to be waking them up when it is usually the other way around! Sweet, sweet schadenfreude!

This morning was a rush-around morning as I had to get Thumper to Gran and GrandPaul's house by 9.00 am, then BallFiend to kindergarten by 9.30 am.

So I went into the kids' bedroom, opened the curtains and kissed them both good morning. I lifted a sleepy Thumper from her cot and carried her to the change table. When I removed her nappy, I discovered it was completely dry! She is well and truely still in nappies during the day, so a dry night-nappy is extraordinary. Being the opportunist that I am, I suggested that she might like to go on the potty and she readily agreed.

As much as she loves taking off her nappy and having a nudie-run, and as much as she loves pulling BallFiend's undies out of the clean washing basket and trying them on, and as much as she loves the idea of sitting on the potty, getting her to actually stay on the potty for more than a split second is near impossible. But this morning, in her sleepy state, she happily sat on the potty for several minutes. Upon rising, there was one teeny, tiny drop of wee. So we clapped and cheered and danced; and Thumper decided that she had now earned the right to a nudie-run and ran off down the hallway.


Despite knowing that there must be a whole night-time's worth of wee yet to come, I didn't chase straight after her - I paused to gather up her pyjamas first. I was only a moment behind her, but in that time she had let the flood come forth: a massive puddle was waiting, right in the middle of the hall-runner. We have floorboards throughout the entire house, but she made sure that she picked the only available piece of carpet available to wee on.

On the positive side, this mornings events tell me that:
a) she can hold on,
b) she knows how to choose where she wants to wee, and
c) she may well be out of night nappies before she is daytime toilet-trained!

--

Dunkin' Delphi

BallFiend: Delphi's all wet again. He fell in the terrlet (that's how BallFiend pronounces 'toilet'). I picked him out and dried him... (groans from DeepSpice and me) and the ball fell in and I picked it out and washed it... (more groans, as we steel ourselves to deal with the clean-up).

Delphi, with us at the beach
(some hours prior to the aforementioned dunny-dive)

--

The things we do for our offspring!

This is an email I have just sent to BallFiend's kindergarten teacher. I think this is the strangest email I have ever had to write!

On 22/10/2011 3:47 PM, Stompy wrote:

Hi D.

BallFiend got a bit upset when he got home on Friday because he realised he had left his 'bead boxes' behind in the kinder room. He said he made them to put beads in (I'm assuming he did so at the craft table).

Apparently the two boxes are brown and are identical size/shape, however BallFiend then squashed one up as part of the creative process. He showed me how big they are with his hands... I'm guessing about the size of a shoe box. They have sticky tape and various other things stuck on them and a hole for the beads to go in.

If they are still there on Monday (assuming you can identify them!), would you be able to put them aside for him? (And if you can't find them, I suspect he will have forgotten about them in a few days time anyway).

thanks,
Stompy

 --

Human canvas

DeepSpice just pointed out that my elbow has been drawn on.

Earlier today, I gave Thumper paper and a black pen so she could do a drawing. She sat at the kids table, which is right next to my desk, and scrawled away for a few minutes. Then when she finished, I took the pen away and put it safely out of reach (a lesson I have learned due to previous occasions of crayons and permanent markers being used to graffiti our walls) .

So now I am wondering: how the hell did she managed to walk over to me and draw on my elbow without me noticing it! What is this child? Some kind of blonde-haired, body-art-loving ninja ?

--

Anyone fancy a pigeon?

During dinner last night, we heard a strange sound coming from the back of the house, so DeepSpice went to investigate. There was a pigeon on the back deck, huddled in against the corner of our house. The kids thought it was quite interesting, I just thought it was annoying. I hate wild pigeons with a passion. They are disgusting, filthy animals (and I wish people would stop feeding them at the mall where I shop!). 

However, as it didn't try to get away when we went near so we guessed it was tame and on closer inspection we could also see it had an injured leg and wing. Now, I also don't particularly like any animals kept as pets - dogs, cats, birds, whatever. As I write this post, the neighbour's dog is yapping away and driving me crazy. And I still bear a grudge against the various wild birds that have made their way down our chimneys in the past. So the last thing I want to have to deal with is someone's injured pet pigeon. But I am not inhumane, and so began the long night of phone calls to try and find out what to do... 

First I rang the local council's after hours emergency line. They told me to ring Wild Life Australia. Wild Life Australia gave me some numbers for various local pigeon societies: the Melbourne Pigeon Society, the Victorian Pigeon Society and the Dandenong Pigeon Society. I did, of course, also search the Web and came up with a few somewhat helpful pages: the Australian National Pigeon Association and the Victorian Racing Pigeon Union. But they all assumed that I wanted to feed and care for this 'found' pigeon. I didn't - I just wanted someone who actually cared to come and get it.

So I started working my way through the list of phone numbers - first M. who told me to call him back in the morning to get the number for someone else. So next I rang J. who told me to call K. He said it was going to be unlikely that anyone will take the bird, because there is currently a contagious pigeon virus around and so the authorities have banned all pigeons from being released or moved. Great. Luckily though, K was happy to take the bird and said I could drop it over to him the next morning (assuming the bird lived through the night, about which I was doubtful). 

This morning, after checking that the bird was still alive (it was), I packed the car with kids, snacks, nappy bag and the pigeon and started on our 26 km round trip to deliver the bird. When we arrived at K's house, he was waiting out the front. He was a lovely old chap, a great-grandfather and clearly a bird lover, as he showed me and the kids around his many cages (aviaries?) of birds - cockatiels, parrots, canaries, finches and enormous Canadian pigeons that you can pick up for the bargain price of $2000 each! 

The kids got bored and wandered back towards the house, leaving me stuck with K. and having to feign an interest in all the birds. Suddenly, K. disappeared through a doorway and returned with a pigeon that has curly feathers. (I have to admit that was quite interesting as an example of selective breeding.) When I eventually made my way back to the house, I found Thumper sitting on the knee K's wife having a lovely chat and BallFiend persistently asking if he could come into the house. I dunno, kids these days - no manners! K. on the other hand wanted to offer the kids lemonade. However, it was time for us to go, as I had to get BallFiend back for kindergarten (I am so glad that the term break is over!), so we said goodbye and headed home. 

Now all that is left to do is clean up the bird shit from the back deck and clean the back of the car. I am really sick of cleaning up shit. I really hope this is the last time I have to have anything more to do with birds... unless it is roast chicken.   

-- 

A wobbly start

BallFiend has just discovered that one of his bottom teeth is a little bit wobbly! He is, of course, thrilled.
I am, of course, filled with sadness as yet another vestige of my first child's babyhood is relegated to the past.
--

Conversation starter

I've talked with BallFiend on many previous occasions about human reproduction, as has DeepSpice. So far it has just been the very bare basics. We have followed the philosphy of trying to answer the question that has been asked (and only the question asked!) as simply as possible. Leave it at that. Never elaborate. (A tip sheet on talking to kids about sex , published by the WA Department of Health, gives some good guidelines for handling this stuff.)

So he already knows that men have 'seeds' and women have 'eggs' and he know the correct names for various body parts.

Anyway, I was driving home from the shops, with both kids in the backseat when BallFiend pipes up, and completely out of the blue starts asks "So how do you catch the seeds? Do you catch them in a bucket?"

He got a very long silence in reply as my mind played through several answers that, whilst I knew would be funny, wouldn't be appropriate to give to a 5 year old. Would have broken the "Never elaborate" rule for starters!
--

Striving for balance

Thumper: Put your spoon on your head!
(giggles and mirth erupts) 
BallFiend: Put your marble on your head!
(more giggles and mirth)
 Thumper: I don't have my marble, silly! It's under the couch.
(even more giggles and mirth)
--

Stop, or the pumpkin gets it!

Thumper was sitting on a stool at the bench watching as I cut up a pumpkin. As I started cutting the skin off it, Thumper suddenly started crying. I looked up from the pumpkin and asked her "What's wrong?".
Thumper just said "No! No!" and continued to cry.
I asked her again "Why are you crying?"
She said "Hurting! hurting..."

I wondered if she had somehow hurt herself, but couldn't see how, so I resumed cutting the skin off the pumpkin and she immediately cried out "Stop hurting it!".
And then I finally realised.... "Do you think I am hurting the pumpkin?"
"Yes! Stop hurting it!" Thumper insisted.
--

Uh-oh broccoli

"Oh no! I broken the handle!"
- Thumper holding a piece of broccoli, with the stalk in one hand, floret in the other.

--

What goes, ninky-donk, ninky-donk, ninky-donk?

"There's the Ninky-Donk. The Ninky-Donk is walking."
- Thumper, watching In the Night Garden... and let's face it, making about as much sense as the show itself does!
--

My my my

"That's my's!"
- Thumper

Hmm.. she seems to have regressed - she used to say "that's mine".
--

She was only unsupervised for a few minutes...

I had just arrived home, after picking up BallFiend from kinder and Thumper from creche. BallFiend was desperate to play with one of his toys (just recently received as a birthday present) and he raced down our long hallway to the back of the house to get started. I followed, assuming Thumper would be right behind me, and began helping BallFiend unpack the many, many pieces of the toy.

After a few minutes I realised that Thumper:
a) had not followed us down the to back room yet (she is usually right behind BallFiend), and
b) was very, very quiet.

Not a good sign. I hurried back to where she had last been seen, by the front door. And immediately realised I had left the door to our study open. Thumper had of course gone straight to my desk and armed herself with implements of destruction: black and red markers.

As I walked into the room, I found her drawing on the lid of a plastic tub. Thinking I'd got off lightly, I opened my mouth to start "the Talk" but she got in first... She took one look at me, put on a defiant face (presumably to mask the guilty one), re-capped the red marker and marched over to the drawer saying, in very matter-of-fact manner, "I'm just putting this away". She opened the drawer and placed the red marker inside.

It was then that I noticed the black scribbles all over the drawer-front of my beautiful 1960s Danish teak writing desk. I love this desk, I have had it since I was about 16 years old, before that it was my father's and originally it was my grandfather's desk. It's the sort of thing you pay a small fortune for in trendy vintage/retro furniture stores these days.

So anyway, I freaked out just a little bit and Thumper promptly burst into tears and ran away. I ran for a microfibre cloth and started scrubbing. Thankfully the marks came off, so either I was lucky and she had actually used a black whiteboard marker, rather than a permanent marker, or I just got onto it quickly enough.

Either way, I am going to be a lot more vigilant now. Next thing you know, she'll be out tagging trains.
--

BallFiend's Birthday Week Bake-a-thon

Last week was spent celebrating BallFiend's 5th birthday...

• On Friday, I sent BallFiend off to creche with a green-and-chocolate swirl cake to share.
• On Saturday, we held a party with his friends.
• On Sunday, we hosted an afternoon tea with the extended family.
• On Monday (his actual birthday), we chilled out at home.
• On Tuesday, I made gluten-free, egg-free, nut-free (flavour-free!) cup-cakes for him to take to Kinder to share.

Saturday's party was held at the local scout hall with 10 of BallFiend's kinder, creche and other friends, including MasterF, MasterW, LittleMissIz, Thing1 and Thing2 (daughters of FunkyOrganMan and ThingMaker). The party had a green-theme (a really simple theme to do - I can highly recommend it!). We had green balloons, a green table-cover, green napkins, plates, cutlery and of course all the food was green:

• pea and ham soup served in green cups;
• avocado dip with celery sticks for dipping (also some corn chips in green tubs);
• green jelly; 
• green-and-white coconut ice (which DeepSpice and I between us took four attempts to get right and then the kids didn't eat it anyway, but that was OK because all the groan-ups loved it!);
• a fruit platter of green(ish) fruits - Granny Smith apples, green pears and green grapes;
• the birthday cake was a butter cake with a green swirl through it and iced in green icing.

I also got 3 metres of neon-lime green tulle from Spotlight (on the discount table... I wonder why!) and made the kids green headbands to wear. We played a few games involving green straws but mostly the kids just played around in the hall. It was the easiest kids birthday party I've ever organised. Although I have to give fair credit to all the parents who hung around and helped out. I was assuming that being a five-year-old party, at least some of the parents would drop their children off for the 2 hours. But none did, and all were roped in to help with blowing up balloons, party games, food preparation and sorting out disputes! I was really glad that they did all end up staying.

Sunday's afternoon tea was attended by Gran, GrandPaul, StompyDad, CutLuce, DesignerMonkey, Cuz1, DesignerSis, Wigward and Great-Aunt-F (GrandPaul's sister) and her husband Great-Uncle-M. BallFiend and I made yet another birthday cake (banana with chocolate chips at BallFiend's request), and we ate party left-overs as well as Gran's chicken sandwiches and Great-Aunt-F's scones. Yummo!

By Monday (BallFiend's actual birthday), we were all too exhausted to do anything much at all. So after going to his usual swimming lesson, we came straight home so BallFiend could get down to the serious business of playing with all the toys he received as gifts. Highlights were:

• the mega-mega-soccerball (about 60cm diametre) from his aunt CutLuce and uncle DesignerMonkey.
• the gi-normous Earth beach ball (68cm diametre) from his aunt DesignerSis and uncle Wigward. (I'm sure DeepSpice would beg to differ with the promotional description that "It only takes a few huffs and puffs to fill this globe full of air" - he spent the first half hour of Sunday's afternoon tea blowing it up!)
• the foil "Happy Birthday balloon" on a stick from Cuz1.
• the green helium-filled balloons from Gran and GrandPaul.
• all the green balloons left over from the birthday party.

He also received several Lego kits and has been enjoying them a lot (as has Thumper), books, games, a marble run, construction toys, outdoor adventuring tools, dinosaur kits, a watering can and more. Some of the toys have been packed away so I can bring them out in instalments. There's easily enough to last him until Xmas time!

Overall he was totally indulged and doesn't really (know how to) appreciate it, but it doesn't matter... I loved seeing him so excited as he ripped open presents and how he got even more excited if they turned out to contain anything vaguely spherical. 
--

Census Day!

On Census Day five years ago, I personally upped the population of Australia by one: little BallFiend popped out at 1.46 pm on Tuesday 8th August 2006, and as a reward for our efforts the ABS gave him a t-shirt (which didn't fit him until nearly 3 months later).

BallFiend in his Census T-Shirt, at 9 weeks old. 

Given he was 17 days overdue, it's not entirely surprising that he came in time for the Census, but during the last few days of my pregnancy I was sure he would wait to be born on the day after the Census and we would have to wait another 5 years before he could become an official population statistic.

The funny thing is that once I went into labour, I completely forgot about it being Census Day. It wasn't until about 8.00 pm that evening, when a Census officer visited us in our hospital room to give us a form that we realised BallFiend had in fact "made the count".

Today, BallFiend is equally as disinterested in the Census as he was five years ago. Fair enough too.

BallFiend aged 5 years and, as you can see, still lazing about on the couch.
Thumper joins him for a pretend afternoon kip.

DeepSpice and I will complete the Census questions tonight (online - hooray for technological advancements!) and this time around, we get to add Thumper to our Census form. (Though if you had asked me five years ago, I would have said there is no way on Earth we are going to have a second baby!) We will also be marking "no religion", although if there was a religion devoted to the worship of balls, I might feel somewhat obliged to tick that box on BallFiend's behalf.
--

Bittersweet birthday

Today, my Mum would have been 64 years old, though in my memory she remains a beautiful 53 year old woman... that is one thing that can be said in favour of dying early. I can't imagine how she might look now if she was still alive, how she might have aged. And I'm sure she would have been happy about that. Before she died, Mum said to me that she wanted us to remember her as she was: a happy, outgoing person - not the way she was at the end of her illness. I can honestly say that I never have any trouble remembering her when she was well, whereas I have to work hard to conjure up memories of her when she was sick.

I keep finding myself wondering what it would be like if she was still here... wishing my children could meet their grandmother. I still find it hard to believe she has been gone for 10 years now. 

Today I am busily preparing for BallFiend's birthday party, which we are having tomorrow at a local scout hall. It's a green party so we are all wearing green clothes and having green-coloured food. As I never wear green (too many years of wearing a green school uniform!), on Wednesday I scoured a local op-shop and found a couple of green scarves for $1 each. The birthday cake - with a green swirl through it - is currently in the oven, green pea and ham soup is bubbling away slowly on the stove and when BallFiend comes home from kinder, we will make the green jelly. We have green balloons, green plates, green cups, green napkins and green spoons. By the way, did I mention that BallFiend's favourite colour is green? 

Organising BallFiend's birthday party makes me feel connected to Mum. She always organised lovely birthday parties for me and my sisters, and made amazing birthday cakes. I like to be able to do the same for my children. I just wish my Mum was here too. 

--

Daddy bird

There's a TV show called Portlandia that I came across when someone posted a link to it on Facebook. It's pretty funny. I've only seen clips on YouTube as it hasn't been on free-to-air TV here. My favourite clip is the "Put a bird on it" one.

The other day, soon after our last date - during which we had visited a boutique store which had designer bags and other things with birds on them - DeepSpice and I were mucking about with the kids and telling them to "put a bird on it" as they kept holding up different toys and things. Anyway, after a while the kids got the idea and joined in the game, telling us to "put a bird on it" for almost every item we touched and everybody was laughing.

A few hours later, DeepSpice and Thumper were sitting together, with Thumper busily throwing things off the couch. DeepSpice kept asking her to put things back up on the couch, and they inevitably started up the good ol' "put a bird on it" banter. Suddenly Thumper came out with "Put a daddy on it", followed by a big, cheesy grin. She'd just made her first joke... and she knew it - the next thing she said was  "I'm joking".
--

Melbourne Open House

Thanks to DeepSpice's willingness to stay home and 'man' the fort, I was able to escape into the city for Melbourne Open House 2011. I'd really wanted to go in 2010 but hadn't managed to get there. So this year, I was very excited to have a day out on my own, sans kids!

I started out at the ANZ Gothic Bank, which was amazing! Unfortunately, I had to wait in a 90 minute queue for the ANZ Bank, so I only got to another two buildings before it was time to go home: the former Public  Records Office of Victoria and former Land Titles Office. 

Below is a photo I took of the teeny, tiny staircase in the former Land Titles Office - it is a really steep spiral staircase, carved out of a single piece of bluestone. I have no idea how it can be cut so thin and yet still be strong enough to walk on.

--

Not quite a nightmare

6.00 am this morning, wails come from BallFiend's bedroom, so I go in to investigate...

Me: What's wrong, why are you crying?
BallFiend: I had a dream that you popped all my balls. It was a bit of a (voice quavers)... sad dream.
Pause. More passionate crying.
BallFiend: Why did you pop all my balls Mum?
--

Fanning the Flames, Flaming the Fans

I think I have just been drawn into combat... drawn into my very own, first ever, personal flame-war, by an evil parrot-troll hybrid.

As a show of good sportspersonship, I shall extend my now-nemesis the same courtesy that he/she has shown me by preserving his/her anonymity and hereafter referring to him/her only as "Phil" and not once shall I refer to Phil as FreeloadingPhill (despite the fact that Phil is, by Phil's own decree, a free-loader).

I will not endeavour to fan the flames by making any derogatory remarks regarding my opponent's character.

Nor do I deny that, in the course of reclaiming this, my blog, I adopted a certain naming convention when referring to the subjects of my posts, which may or may not have originated from freeloadingphill.blogspot.com, and I hereby declare that this was done purely with the intent of copy-catting (imitation being, as we well know, the sincerest form of flattery). 

In the interests of resolving this matter amicably I, Stompy, declare and affirm as follows: 

1. I don't really like parrots. However, as with most creatures, they can - under the right circumstances - provide a certain amusement to help one pass the time. 
2. I don't really mind trolls, especially those ones with the long fluorescent hair that people used to have on their keychains in the 90s. I'm fairly certain that the very manly and virile drummer in a band I used to be in used to have one in his car for good luck. And apparently those trolls-dolls were "My Little Ponys for boys", so maybe he had a whole collection... I never actually opened the [Pandora's] glove box to check.
3. In order to create stakeholder engagement, whilst achieving productivity benchmarks, moving forward, the necessity for blog-owners to "additionalise the content of [one's] communications" (provided properly-credited reference to the originating blog is made) is acceptable in the context of strategic practice.
4. Ner-ner-ner-ner-ner. No backs, no refunds. 

Now, if you would be so kind as to pass me a drumstick, I have a marshmallow waiting to be toasted.
--

Smilk

Thumper: want s'milk, want s'milk!
Me (teasing): you want "smilk"?
Thumper: No silly, I want [now enunciating perfectly] some milk!

Gotta love it when a nearly two year old puts you in your place.
--

Pasta, Plonk and Puzzles

Took the family on a one-day road trip today to visit Great Gran Billy in Ballarat. Due to the section of obligatory roadworks on the Western Ring Road and the usual stops along the way to respond to the various demands of our back-seat complainants, the journey took us around two hours instead of the 1 hour 20 minutes that it should have taken. 

So we arrived in Ballarat right on midday and decided to stop for lunch first. As always, BallFiend insisted on having pasta and therefore Thumper got the same (we have learned to always get her the same, otherwise she won't eat what she has and demands to eat BallFiend's food). 

As can clearly be seen, all was going quite well, until Thumper finished her meal. I carefully shifted my half-finished glass of wine out of her reach and then proceeded to wipe her hands and face before she left the table, only to catch my glass with my elbow and turn just in time to see it crash to the floor. It was just like in the movies... I watched as the glass seemed fall in slow motion, tumbling end over end, then the slow motion stopped as it hit floor and shattered into about one billion pieces. 

We made a hasty exit, stopped at a bakery for some afternoon tea supplies, then continued on to visit GGB.

Poor GGB had been ill last week - taken to hospital with vomiting - and being 95 years old, it really knocked her around a bit. CutLuce and DesignerMonkey took Cuz1 up last weekend to meet her great-grandmother for the first time and on their return, CutLuce told me how frail GGB had looked. So I felt quite relieved when I arrived to see her looking better than I was expecting... though she is definitely not the lively woman she was a few years, and even a few months, ago. 

GGB enjoyed watching Thumper and BallFiend play and even helped out with a puzzle that I had brought to keep Thumper entertained. 

We consumed our bakery treats. BallFiend and Thumper shared a croissant and GGB particularly enjoyed the lamingtons, so I got the snot-block all to myself and DeepSpice got the jam tart that had been intended for BallFiend. 

At 3.00 pm, we left GGB and gave the kids a quick run about in the playground across the road. It all ended in tears when Thumper decided to live up to her name by running into a pole and thumping her head, causing a good-sized egg to swell-up. So we loaded everyone into the car and went on our way home. 

Much like the journey to Ballarat, the journey home was plagued with slow patches due to roadworks. The recently-built Bacchus Marsh by-pass is now in operation, but obviously 'they' don't want the new road to get worn out, so one lane was blocked off, causing the traffic to dawdle along at 10kph for a couple of kilometres. Most of the rest of the journey was uneventful, apart from BallFiend kicking my seat, and Thumper repeatedly dropping her blankie and waterbottle, making me reach around awkwardly to pick them up for her. BallFiend did a reasonable job of keeping Thumper entertained by tickling her foot with his foot - bringing about endless rounds of giggling. And the colourful music of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass kept BallFiend in good spirits.

Eventually we reached the dreaded Western Ring Road, and of course, the traffic slowed to a crawl. It took about 25 minutes to travel around 2 kilometers! Finally we reached our turn-off and stopped by Gran and GrandPaul's house where a nice glass of red bubbles awaited us. The kids were offered dinner, and refused on the grounds of cake already consumed. Then once again, we packed everyone back into the car and finally got home at about 6.00 pm.


Though it was lovely to see Great Gran Billy, overall, it was a rather exhausting day - especially for DeepSpice who did all the driving. ...if only we could teleport to Ballarat.
--

Thanks Alex!

I took BallFiend to his swimming lesson this morning and Thumper for a paddle in the toddlers' (cess) pool. Then after a quick sandwich for lunch, we continued on to do a (fool's) errand for DeepSpice - to get him some masonite pegboard, measuring 1220 x 915 mm, and also to exchange some wonky hooks for said pegboard.

After much cruising around the aisles of the local hardware mega-warehouse (which I have to admit, I quite like doing), I finally found the required items, tested 50 hooks in the pegboard in order to find 6 non-wonky ones. Then I took BallFiend and Thumper via the playground for a quick play as a reward for their patience (which was rather thin by this time as they were tired out after their swim).

Once the obligatory playground stop-off was complete, I headed straight for the checkout. Halfway there BallFiend announced at the top of his lungs: "I have a pooooooo!!!" then he turned and ran in the direction of the toilets. I hurried along behind him, pushing the trolley with an extra-wide load of pegboard on it.

After the toilet stop-off, we finally reached the check out, where I had to explain to BallFiend for the 1000th time that "No you cannot have a ball and just because they gave you a free one last time doesn't mean they will give you one this time!"

Finally back at the car with the pegboard, I carefully positioned the trolley so it won't roll out onto the road (with Thumper still on board) by placing it in the mouth of the trolley bay, which was right next to our car. (I always park next to trolley bays if I can - having learned that this is the best place to park when you have small kids in tow).


BallFiend started to use the railings of the trolley bay as monkey bars, while I carefully removed the board from the trolley and tried to put it into the back of the car. All good so far, except that DeepSpice forgot to mention that a 1220 x 915 mm piece of board will not fit in our car!! At this point Thumper threw her banana out of the trolley and wailed, and BallFiend fells over the bars and whacked his shin, then a man arrived wanting to get a trolley out from behind my Thumper-laden trolley.

Thankfully he recognised my look of despair and offered to help strap the pegboard to the roof rack. (By help, I mean do it for me.) This allowed me time to attend to Thumper and allowed BallFiend time to pester the man's daughter: "What's your name? What's your name? Mum, she won't tell me her name!!"

With the pegboard firmly secured on the roof rack, I loaded the kids into the car and we departed for home. But not before BallFiend had one last tantrum - he wanted to know the man's name, screaming after him as he walked away "What's your name? What's your name?!" I managed to appease BallFiend by telling him that the man's name was Alex and his daughter's name was Sarah.

So, if anyone asks...
--

The terrible twos

"Nooooooooo!"

"That's MINE!

"I do it the self."

"Look at me!"

"I did it."

- Thumper, aged 22 months.

--

Potty Scoreboard update

We've continued to have lots of potty-playtime over the past few months, and the floor has maintained its strong lead, scoring well ahead of potty.

Yesterday saw the introduction of a new player on the field - the cot. Yep, I had my first ever poo-in-the-cot incident after Thumper, during her nap-time, did a poo and then decided to remove her nappy (presumably it was uncomfortable). Thankfully she didn't get it everywhere, but the nappy had tipped over on its side, spilling some of the contents onto her sheets and blankets. So the entire bedding had to be changed. And that was the end of nap-time (and my hopes for an hour or two of quiet time!)

I couldn't be mad though, because when I went in to find out what all the crying was about, Thumper was standing in the corner of her cot, very distressed, saying "I dun a poo! I dun a poo!".

But maybe the game is turning around... just now, Thumper did another successful wee on the potty. Congratulations Thumper!
--

Night terrors

I just found this in an email I sent to VolubleK on 6 April 2007 when BallFiend was 8 months old. Really glad his (and Thumper's) sleeping patterns are much better these days. (At least, mostly much better. I have probably just jinxed myself by writing this post!)

BallFiend appears to have permanently given up sleep. Last night went like this: 

7.15 pm - bed, asleep by 7.30 pm. So far, so good.
11.15 pm - wakes up
11.20 pm - DeepSpice attempts to resettle him to no avail.
11.30 pm - breastfeed (I assume he is hungry as he didn't feed that well at 7pm, and wouldn't eat much by way of solids for dinner at 5pm)
12.00 am - resettled back in cot
1.15 am - still screaming, non-stop since 12.00 am
1.20 am - breastfeed again, this time in our bed.
1.50 am - Finally falls asleep... at breast but I don't care!
2.15 am - wakes and cries a bit. Shove the dummy in.
2.20 am - asleep again
4.10 am - wakes up and cries a lot
4.15 am - shove the breast in, since the dummy didn't work
4.30 am - BallFiend finishes feeding, starts giggling. I prod DeepSpice and make him put BallFiend in his cot. Silence - presumed asleep
6.45 am - wakes up, talking to himself in the cot
7.20 am - grizzling now, so I get him up, feed him and then give him his porridge for breakfast.
No idea what has gotten into him. I am not happy. Though he seemed to be! A bit tired looking this morning, but cheerful and playful as ever.  And when I put him to bed for his morning nap at 9 am, he went off to sleep with no complaints, just like usual.  grrrr.
Yours truly... with a yawn,
Stompy

--

Bulky beetle

Every night, Thumper gets put into a gi-normous fat night-time nappy, consisting of a fitted cloth nappy, boosted with a pre-fold, and then a cover on top. She always looks so cute, waddling along with a John Wayne-like gait because the bulk of the nappy keeps her legs apart.

Last night, she wandered up to the bathroom door, curious about the commotion coming from within (BallFiend having his teeth brushed). Suddenly, she over-balanced and plopped down on her bum. No harm done... not with all that padding! But then, she couldn't get up again. The bulky nappy had her stuck, just like a beetle on it's back, with legs flailing helplessly in the air. The look on her face was priceless - puzzled with just a hint of terror.

Needless to say, DeepSpice and I were laughing so hard it took a few moments before we came to her aid.
--

As promised...

Here is the more news I referred to earlier...

This story starts ten years ago, when DesignerSis was just sweet-sixteen and she met a young lad whom we now know as Wigward. Now, most normal teens enjoy a romance for a few months, then break-up in order to be able to write better teenage-angst poetry and have an excuse to go through an obligatory goth phase. But not DesignerSis and Wigward. They set out to prove that your first love can be your true love.

Fast forward ten years and announce they're off to Noosa for a holiday. Nothing really unusual about this, they've done so a few times before. They usually disappear for a week or so and reappear back home with little fanfare (other than the occasional gripe about the crappy service that they got from a cut-price airline).

But not this time.

It was Saturday afternoon, and DeepSpice and I were out gallivanting around the inner-suburbs, pretending to be child-less yuppies, whilst Gran and GrandPaul babysat BallFiend and Thumper. Yep that's right - we were on a date! It was quite a novelty for us to be able to wander into shops and cafes at our leisure. We ended up passing a furniture shop that I have heard about but had never actually been to, so I dragged DeepSpice in for a look.

Then my phone rang. It was DesignerSis calling whilst still away on holiday. She had news: that Wigward had just proposed to her and they are now engaged! (She had to tell me quickly as they were about to tell Wigward's mother and once she got the news, it would be instantly broadcast far and wide.) I was too stunned to say much (or perhaps it was just that I was too focused on imagining how nice it would be to get a new sofa)... I managed to stammer out a "congratulations", before collapsing in shock on my dream sofa. (Just kiddin' - I am genuinely happy for them!)

Later when chatting to CutLuce about the news, I found out that she had had a much better come-back than my corny old 'congratulations'. She immediately asked: "So, when are you having babies?" I can just picture DesignerSis squirming a little on the other end of the phone.

Anyway, I am very happy for DesignerSis and Wigward and I hope they do get on with making some more cousins for BallFiend and Thumper (and Cuz1) soon... though perhaps not too soon, as I'm still on my 'auntie' L-plates.
--

Auntie Stompy

It's been a mad couple of weeks... a lot has going on in my life and as a result, I've had little time to post on The Swamp. And as a result, I have some long overdue news to brag...

On 9th June 2011, I became an auntie for the first time after CutLuce and DesignerMonkey's first progeny finally made her appearance, about a week overdue) at 4.39 am.

This of course means that DeepSpice is now an uncle for the first time and BallFiend and Thumper have their very first First Cousin (they already have a few cousins of the third or fourth or once-or-twice-removed variety, or something like that anyway).

It's all very exciting and I am very much enjoying getting to experience a newborn without all the horrible sleep-deprivation. No such luck for the long-suffering CutLuce and DesignerMonkey.

Now this little bubba just needs a Swamp-handle... I will be naming her soon, once her personality shines through, but for now, she can be Cuz1, in the hope that Cuz2, and even Cuz3 and Cuz4 will be along in the next few years... because, oh yes! there's more news...
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Take that T-Rex!

Me: What did you do at Kinder today?

BallFiend: We played dinosaurs.

Me: Oh, tell me more about it...

BallFiend: I was the rock that fell to Earth and killed all the dinosaurs.

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Alpha-Bet

I wasn't planning to post again, for the third day in a row, but had to note down this one...

Thumper just pointed to the letter M on the keyboard of my computer and said "W for [her name]".

She's only 20 months old - well 21 months in a few more days, but still... it's pretty impressive. 

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Second day of Winter

There's a theme started here for June, but it's really just because I am not feeling very creative with my blog-post titles. Please don't expect that you will be getting two posts a day for the rest of the month!

Anyway, today is another glorious Winter day in Melbourne. Started off cold and frosty, but then the Sun came out and it seems like Spring. After taking BallFiend to kinder, Thumper and I headed off to a local cafe to meet The Librarian and LittleMissF for a coffee and catch-up. It's school-selection season, and all us mums of 4-and-a-bit-year olds are busy touring local schools and trying to decide which one to go to. So The Librarian and I had lots of notes to compare.

My morning had been a real rush, because I slept in, because of Thumper's night antics, and I had rushed out of the house with no breakfast. So it was nice to indulge in a yummy cooked breakfast, even if I did have to share it with Thumper. After a while, LittleMissF and Thumper tired of playing at the cafe, so we decided to go across the road to the park. As we were preparing to leave the cafe, I heard my name being called and turned around to see a mum from my former "Mothers' group" - I hadn't seen her for about 3 years, since our Mothers group sort of petered out. She was there with her second and third children. Her eldest daughter who is the same age as BallFiend was at kinder too. After a bit of a catch up (and more school-choice talk), The Librarian and I wandered over to the park and let the girls have a run about.

With Kinder pick-up time approaching, it was time to say goodbye to the sunshine and go on our way. I stopped in at Creche to retrieve blankie and popped in to say hello to SingingCheese who had just finished up a RhymeTime session. Thumper enjoyed playing chasey with SingingCheese's daughter MiniBabybel but it all ended in tears when Thumper decided to live up to her name and gave MiniBabyBel a shove.

So we said goodbye and I hurried off, to collect my pants from the tailor and get home in time for Thumper to squeeze in a nap before we go out again to collect BallFiend from Kinder. Then it will be off to visit CutLuce and so we have some stern words to baby cousin about coming out soon!

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First (long) night of Winter

Oh calamity! It wasn't until 7.00 pm that I discovered that Thumper's green blankie hadn't come home from Creche. Blankie is the essential ingredient to a good night's sleep... it's how she self-settles: she holds the corner just under her nose and brushes it back and forwards whilst sucking her thumb.

Fearing the worst, I put on a brave face and took her off to bed, offering her a choice of "blue blankie" or one of BallFiend's blankies instead. She wasn't happy, but seemed to accept things as they were. But once in her cot, there was a plaintive cry: "corner gone, corner gone!".

So I hunted around in a box of toys which had been packed up ready for baby cousin (we're expecting CutLuce to produce the goods on that one any day now!) and found a toy which was made from similar fabric and had a corner of sorts. This seemed to help enough for Thumper to fall asleep. But sadly, it wasn't quite right for a whole night's worth and we paid the penalty with three separate wake-up call through the night.

This morning, I dropped in to Creche and collected blankie. I now have a happy Thumper who is tucked up in her cot having a nap, blankie firmly planted under nose.

I think the time has come to get out the scissors and do some blankie-mitosis.
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