How to sleep-in when you have kids

This is what it takes to get a sleep-in around here...

1. Just before kids go to bed we give them instructions for the next morning... what they can and cannot do, not to wake us up unless it's an emergency, discuss which things constitute an emergency, practice closing the bathroom door quietly and NOT slamming the toilet lid down, etc.

Later, DeepSpice and I litter the house with reminder notes* before we go to bed.

* this is a technique deeply ingrained in me as a result of growing up the regime of StompyDad.

2. The kids get up in the morning and read them (hopefully), and even follow the instructions (she says, even more hopefully).

Results:

This sytem works sometimes and we get to sleep in undisturbed by doors slamming, bickering, kids coming in asking for help to install Minecraft mods, etc., etc.

And when we get up, we have two kids who (although now square-eyed) have actually eaten something so are not completely feral and hangry. 

This morning, when I got up, I found a note from BallFiend on my desk. When he took the Weetbix out of the pantry, he had seen the bags for baking chocolate chips I had hurriedly dumped there yesterday whilst I was moving stuff around when looking for something else at the back of another shelf.

--

Chocolate moose

Today, Thumper, BallFiend and I visited StompyDad who has been busily 'decluttering' as a result of the xmas gift that I gave him (a book called Sorted). A gift that has sadly backfired upon me as StompyDad now requires that I spend many, many hours at his house to look through the piles of stuff that he has determined to be clutter. Presumably so that I can shift it all to my house and ultimately end up with an equivelent clutter problem in 30 years time.

And so we were all off to see StompyDad and his clutter. (Except for DeepSpice who got to stay home and attempt to recuperate from the dreadful night's lack of sleep that we both had, courtesy of Thumper waking and wailing multiple times. DeepSpice did most of the getting-up, so I thought this was fair enough).

We stopped on route at a bakery to pick up lunch supplies to take to StompyDad's house - just some pastries and a few sweet treats. I chose lemon tarts for StompyDad and me, BallFiend opted out, and Thumper choose a chocolate mousse. (Both kids also decided to chuck massive tantrums in the shop so that by the time I left, I was completely embarassed by them and furious with them. BallFiend was very contrite afterwards. Thumper not so.)

We arrived at StompyDad's house, ate our lunch and then I was given a grand tour of all the recently decluttered sites around the house... "Open that cupboard. Look in here. Now I just want to show you this, it's important..." and so on for about an hour and a half. Eventually StompyDad left me to actually look through the boxes of stuff. There were some fabulous finds, in amongst the many things that should have been thrown out or sent to the op-shop years ago. The best prize was finding my and CutLuce's Wind in the Willows audio-book, on three cassettes. You know, the kind with actual magnetic tape in them! Recently I've been reading Wind in the Willows to the kids (and Gran and GrandPaul took them to a performance of it at the Royal Botanic Gardens last week). So I have been wishing I could get my hands on that audiobook again. Now I can. All I have to do is work out how to get it transferred onto a CD-rom. Piece of cake.

I also found my old Barbies and a toy rubbish truck (my favourite toy vehicle when I was a kid) and Pick-up Sticks, and a wierd maths toy that you stick rubber bands on and make symmetrical and mirrored patterns with. BallFiend took to these immediately, especially the maths toy. "Now I have something to use my rubber band collection on" he remarked with great joy.

After many hours longer than I had intended to stay, we headed home, the car boot filled with newly rediscovered treasures.

Once home, we sat down to dinner (thanks DeepSpice) and began to tell DeepSpice about our day...

Thumper mentioned that she had had a "chocolate reindeer". I corrected her: "No, you had a chocolate mousse." As soon as the words left my mouth I made the connection: chocolate mousse > moose > reindeer. Of course DeepSpice was way ahead of me and had already sussed out Thumper's thought process...

A few weeks ago we went up to Mt Buller for a couple of nights. While we were up there we went to the cafe at Mt Buller Chalet where they have a large stuffed (ie. taxidermied) Canadian Moose on display. At the time, Thumper was pretty obsessed with reindeers (due to the whole xmas-Santa thing), so we mentioned to Thumper that a moose is a bit like a reindeer.

For a three year old, this kid has an amazing memory and an amazing ability with words!
--

Super Lego Mario

BallFiend has been fascinated Super Mario ever since DeepSpice and I started playing Super Paper Mario on the Wii about a year ago. (Thanks CutLuce and DesignerMonkey for the super-extended loan of the game). Well, he got some new Lego for his birthday (thanks Gran and GrandPaul and StompyDad) and ever since, he has been busy re-constructing the 2D-flip-into-3D Super Paper Mario world... 

That's Mario, at the front to the right - with a yellow core and a light blue bit on top.

The peaceful street-scape of Flipside, with the tower looming over-head.

--

The big dry

Went in to wake Thumper from her afternoon nap today at about 3.45 pm. She had been a bit difficult about settling down to sleep when I put her in the cot at about 2 pm - I had heard her playing for a while and moving about. So I was, at the very least, expecting to find her asleep upside down in the cot with a foot or two hanging out between the bars.

I certainly was not expecting to find a completely naked child, curled up sound asleep in the top corner of her cot, with her nappy in another corner of the cot and her dress thrown out on the floor! 

My first thought was: wet sheets and blankets! But to my surprise, she hadn't even wet the nappy, let alone the sheets. She had been changed into the nappy at about 12.45 pm (just before I left StompyDad's house, where we had been visiting that morning). It was now several hours later but she was completely dry.

So I got her up and put her on the potty. Still the drought did not break. Back into a nappy and off to Gran and GrandPaul's house for swim then dinner. Even more surprising, when Gran removed that nappy, at about 4.30 pm, it was still dry too.

I can't help but think this child is cleverer that she is letting on: that she knows exactly how to use a potty, but she is just choosing not to. I admire her spirit.


--

BallFiend's Birthday Week Bake-a-thon

Last week was spent celebrating BallFiend's 5th birthday...

• On Friday, I sent BallFiend off to creche with a green-and-chocolate swirl cake to share.
• On Saturday, we held a party with his friends.
• On Sunday, we hosted an afternoon tea with the extended family.
• On Monday (his actual birthday), we chilled out at home.
• On Tuesday, I made gluten-free, egg-free, nut-free (flavour-free!) cup-cakes for him to take to Kinder to share.

Saturday's party was held at the local scout hall with 10 of BallFiend's kinder, creche and other friends, including MasterF, MasterW, LittleMissIz, Thing1 and Thing2 (daughters of FunkyOrganMan and ThingMaker). The party had a green-theme (a really simple theme to do - I can highly recommend it!). We had green balloons, a green table-cover, green napkins, plates, cutlery and of course all the food was green:

• pea and ham soup served in green cups;
• avocado dip with celery sticks for dipping (also some corn chips in green tubs);
• green jelly; 
• green-and-white coconut ice (which DeepSpice and I between us took four attempts to get right and then the kids didn't eat it anyway, but that was OK because all the groan-ups loved it!);
• a fruit platter of green(ish) fruits - Granny Smith apples, green pears and green grapes;
• the birthday cake was a butter cake with a green swirl through it and iced in green icing.

I also got 3 metres of neon-lime green tulle from Spotlight (on the discount table... I wonder why!) and made the kids green headbands to wear. We played a few games involving green straws but mostly the kids just played around in the hall. It was the easiest kids birthday party I've ever organised. Although I have to give fair credit to all the parents who hung around and helped out. I was assuming that being a five-year-old party, at least some of the parents would drop their children off for the 2 hours. But none did, and all were roped in to help with blowing up balloons, party games, food preparation and sorting out disputes! I was really glad that they did all end up staying.

Sunday's afternoon tea was attended by Gran, GrandPaul, StompyDad, CutLuce, DesignerMonkey, Cuz1, DesignerSis, Wigward and Great-Aunt-F (GrandPaul's sister) and her husband Great-Uncle-M. BallFiend and I made yet another birthday cake (banana with chocolate chips at BallFiend's request), and we ate party left-overs as well as Gran's chicken sandwiches and Great-Aunt-F's scones. Yummo!

By Monday (BallFiend's actual birthday), we were all too exhausted to do anything much at all. So after going to his usual swimming lesson, we came straight home so BallFiend could get down to the serious business of playing with all the toys he received as gifts. Highlights were:

• the mega-mega-soccerball (about 60cm diametre) from his aunt CutLuce and uncle DesignerMonkey.
• the gi-normous Earth beach ball (68cm diametre) from his aunt DesignerSis and uncle Wigward. (I'm sure DeepSpice would beg to differ with the promotional description that "It only takes a few huffs and puffs to fill this globe full of air" - he spent the first half hour of Sunday's afternoon tea blowing it up!)
• the foil "Happy Birthday balloon" on a stick from Cuz1.
• the green helium-filled balloons from Gran and GrandPaul.
• all the green balloons left over from the birthday party.

He also received several Lego kits and has been enjoying them a lot (as has Thumper), books, games, a marble run, construction toys, outdoor adventuring tools, dinosaur kits, a watering can and more. Some of the toys have been packed away so I can bring them out in instalments. There's easily enough to last him until Xmas time!

Overall he was totally indulged and doesn't really (know how to) appreciate it, but it doesn't matter... I loved seeing him so excited as he ripped open presents and how he got even more excited if they turned out to contain anything vaguely spherical. 
--

A Royal Pain in the Throat

July 29th, 1981.

I was 7 years old. I watched, at first with interest and then with increasing concern, as StompyDad bustled back and forth between the TV in the lounge room and the hi-fi in the 'family' room, trying to set up the ABC radio simulcast before the big event began: Prince Charles & Lady Di, the Royal wedding.


Meanwhile, my long-suffering mother was busy preparing dinner -- fish -- whilst trying to calm StompyDad before he got into a complete tizz. CutLuce, then my cute little sister, was somewhere about too... probably hiding from me -- her nasty big sister who hadn't gotten over being dethroned 5 years previously (a grudge I continued to hold for about another 20 years, really sorry about that sis) -- in case I pinched her again. No DesignerSis yet... still another 3 years to wait for her arrival.

I think I was quite excited about the wedding - after all, what little girl doesn't love the idea of seeing a real, live princess? Or maybe it was just that we were going to be allowed to eat whilst sitting in front of the TV and I would get to stay up late.

Eventually, Mum, CutLuce & I sat down to eat, while StompyDad continued to fuss about trying to get the radio tuned just-so and the aerial adjusted on the TV just-right, all the while getting more stressed.

Finally, after much stomping about, accompanied by much ranting, StompyDad joined us and sat down to eat. He began wolfing down great mouthfuls of his dinner whilst still complaining about the failings of the household technology to deliver perfect Royal wedding sound and vision.

Lady Di was still in her carriage on the way to the church, waving demurely. She hadn't even had the chance to show off her 25ft train yet, when StompyDad was on his feet again. This time not yelling but coughing, gagging and spitting a mouthful of fish and vegies back out onto his plate.

Eventually, mum worked out what had happened - he had got a fish bone stuck in his throat.


"Bread! Bread!" a panicked StompyDad demanded. 

"I need it to help swallow down the bone." 

He raced to the kitchen and proceeded to wolf down great hunks of bread. 

But the fish bone was tenacious. 

I don't remember very clearly what happened next with the fish bone, but I do remember getting to watch the rest of the wedding, so I think that StompyDad went over the road to see DoctorH our neighbour and friend, who was also, conveniently, a GP. When he returned some time later, having missed the Royal wedding ceremony (and there was no catching up later on iView; in those days we didn't even have a VCR!), the fish bone was still firmly in place. DoctorH needed special equipment to get that bony morsel out and had told StompyDad to come to the clinic the next morning. 

Anyway, here I am, thirty years later, bitterly disappointed that I cannot watch The Chaser's commentary of today's Royal wedding (and as a result not-watching the Will & Kate Royal wedding at all). But guess what? We had fish for dinner: smoked salmon with pasta, and pulled it off without a single fish-bone mishap. Phew.

--

Beware STOP Leeches in the village STOP

Received this message from StompyDad who is spending a few weeks adventuring in a far off land (Sri Lanka) for a lark. 

------ SMS ------
From: +44********68
Received: 7 Jan 2011 3:40 AM
Subject: Hi.
Hi. Stompy was eaten by 2 leaches 2ay. Saw a 500 year old village. Xx stompydad

I never felt a thing, honest!

Just goes to show that all those Baby Boomers who complain about Gen Y and their use of txtspk causing the standards of grammar and punctuation to slip should perhaps refocus their attention on their elders, the so-called Builders. StompyDad precedes the Baby Boomer generation by just a couple of years, but I reckon this message gives Gen Y a real run for their money. 

--

Spoon!

There's a story that my great aunt used to tell, that StompyDad loves to retell to the point of annoyance: that my mother "could eat out of an eggcup at 6 months" (or sometimes 7 or 8 months depending on the mood of the storyteller).

Well, I can hereby declare that Thumper can spoon-feed herself out of a ramekin at 8 months. She probably could have done it at 6 or 7 months too, except we never gave her the opportunity because we are using the baby-led style of feeding. Last night, she was having yoghurt and DeepSpice offered her the spoon to hold. She did really well - got at least 2 or 3 spoonfuls successfully to her mouth. This morning, she was having Vitabrits and again used the spoon. She was ever so proud of herself.

Maybe I'd better offer her a boiled egg in an eggcup for lunch? Although, my great aunt's story doesn't actually specify what was in the eggcup... could have been a chunk of banana for all I know.
--

The anatomy of a table

BallFiend: "Where is the head of the table?"

Me: "You're sitting at it."

BallFiend: "Where's the foot of the table? Is that the foot?" (pointing at the other end of the table)

DeepSpice: "No, that's the head of the table too."

BallFiend: "Why are they both the head?"

Me: "That's just what they are called.

Thumper: Ahhh-waaa!

StompyDad: "It's funny isn't it... I'd never thought about it that way before..."

BallFiend: "Where's the table's feet?"

Me: Tables don't have feet. They have legs though..."

Dinner conversation at our place this evening.

--

X marks the mass

Many months ago, sometime around March I think it was, VolubleK and I came up with an idea for Christmas: to bring our families together and have a big Christmas day like the ones we remember when we were kids... the sort of day when there a heaps of people because an extensive number of extended family all turn up to gorge themselves, spoil the kids with lots of toys and chocolates and to re-gift the crappy presents from previous years.

So in November, after re-confirming with VolubleK that the plan was still good to go, I rounded up the family: StompyDad, CutLuce and DesignerMonkey, DesignerSis and Wigward all said they would come. Unfortunately though, Gran and GrandPaul declined as they wanted to have one last Christmas day lunch with Gran's second cousin and his family before his planned repatriation back to Canada. (He and his family are secular Jews who like to join in on Christmas festivities anyway.)

What we ended up with was probably the epitome of a Gen X Christmas. Family and friends, old and young, were present, and there was a smattering of tradition thrown in amongst a whole lot of 'don't act too enthusiastic - it's just another day after all'.

Our Christmas Day began with a morning visit to Gran and GrandPaul's house where we were treated to brunch - a tasty quiche, fresh cherries and of course some fine wine (obligatory as far as GrandPaul is concerned). Gran's cousin and family arrived and we did the first round of gift exchanging for the day. We gave GrandPaul and Gran a doormat with "We serve only the finest Australian wine here. Did you bring any?" emblazoned upon it, which was well-received. Also to GrandPaul an autographed copy of Free to a Good Home by Catherine Deveny (DeepSpice went to her book signing) and to Gran some smelly (floral) soaps which she always likes.

We had received our present from Gran and GrandPaul a few days earlier - a portable gazebo for our backyard (as I was after a shady place for BallFiend and Thumper to play until our trees grow bigger). However, being the generous sorts that they are, they also gave us a few more things, but the focus was really on BallFiend and Thumper who were showered with gifts.

Next stop was VolubleK's house. After we arrived, there was more frenzied exchanging of gifts, followed by lunch. The adults sat at the table, the kids ran riot and barely stopped to eat as far as I could tell. In the midst of it all though, BallFiend sat down and ate in his picky, meticulous way. He generally takes about an hour to eat a simple sandwich, so Christmas lunch with all it's unfamiliar foods took him forever, by the time he picked out all the things he didn't want to eat. After lunch BallFiend played with PetitAmi and her big sister; he particularly liked the billiard table. ("Look mum! Billion balls!!") We finished up with dessert at about 5.30 pm and didn't end up leaving until 7.00 pm, with a very, very tired BallFiend.

Here is the summary of our ill-gotten goods (seeing as we are atheists, and so don't officially qualify for Christmas goodies):

Me:

• Friendly Fire by Wil Anderson,
• Wil Anderson's Wilosophy DVD
  
• a purple scarf
• Space Oddity by David Bowie CD
• some other stuff that I can't think of at the moment
  

DeepSpice and I together:

• a box of chocolates (from Father Christmas),
• Outdoor Kids by Jamie Durie (from StompyDad)
• Mini vacuum cleaner
  
• (the aforementioned) gazebo
• some other stuff that I can't think of at the moment

DeepSpice

• A book by Richard Dawkins.
• some other stuff that I can't think of at the moment

Thumper

• a green hat (from Gran and GrandPaul)
• a purple hat (from DesignerSis and Wigward)
  
• Ernie and Bert soft toys (from Gran's cousin and family).
• In The Night Garden memory game
• green teddy bear
• Dora the Explorer bowl, plate and mug set
• roll-around Fisher Price toy
• Teething rattle toy
• a few books
• some other stuff that I can't think of at the moment

BallFiend

• a toy car
• stilts (from the playgroup Kris Kringle)
  
• Dora the Explorer floor puzzle
  
• a cricket set
• The Umbilical Brothers DVD
  
• a backpack for Kinder
• shoes
• green bath towel with a hood
• a quilt and pillowcae
  
• lots of books
• 12 inflatable mini beach balls! (Father Christmas found these on eBay)
• a large inflatable beach ball and an inflatable penguin-shaped green swim ring (courtesy of his great-aunt and uncle)
• probably some other stuff that I can't think of at the moment

--

Pregnancy update: 40+1

Now that I am officially 'overdue' (by all of one day!), the frequency of 'how much longer till Thumper arrives' speculation has increased exponentially! (Including DesignerSis and CutLuce announcing their ponderings on Facebook.)

StompyDad, on the other hand, seems to have no capacity to keep the due date in mind. He has been asking me for months if Thumper is going to come soon, and every time when I answer "not due for another x months/weeks", he seems surprised. Anyway, today he tells me he is heading up to the mountains for more skiing on Tuesday and will be gone for the rest of the week. Then he was surprised when I mentioned that Thumper will most likely arrive while he is away! "Oh, well I might come back early if Thumper is born during the week then... maybe on Friday."

Gran and GrandPaul are much more date-aware, but are not quite bursting over with enthusiasm for the impending grandchild... at least not as much as they were when I was pregnant with BallFiend. I think they think we are a bit insane for having a second child, when they stopped (at what, in their opinion, is sensible!) at one. Plus, for GrandPaul, birthdays at this time of year interfere with the footy finals.

At the complete other end of the spectrum, CutLuce, DesignerSis and of course VolubleK are incredibly excited and hanging out to meet Thumper! Oh, and BallFiend too seems to be increasingly excited about his baby coming out soon.

Measurements at 40 weeks pregnant:

• Waist: 121 cm
  
• Hips: 112 cm
  
• Weight gain: 12.5 kg
  

Current aches and pains:

• Pelvic instability - still present but not so bad. Main issue is pain in pubis symphosis joint
  
• Deep muscle soreness in my right gluteal muscle and sore sacroiliac joint.
• Very occasional sciatica - very mild (compared to my pregnancy with BallFiend)
  
• movements by Thumper - especially when pushing upwards against the top of my uterus.
  
• Sore skin above my belly button where it is stretched to bursting point.
  
• More strong 'pre-labour' symptoms: cramps (that feel like period pains), low back ache, nausea and braxton hicks contractions... on and off every few days now. Last week, I even had about an hour and a half of contractions that were 5 minutes apart... thought it might be the real deal for a while there.
• Moving my huge carcass anywhere, and especially rolling over in bed! I have no abdominal strength so turning over, sitting up from a lying position, getting in and out of the car, etc. are just about impossible!
  

How to dislodge the lodger? (or 'my superstitious practices for stalling and then inducing labour')

With the due date officially past, I no longer need to keep my legs so tightly crossed. All the worry of a premature birth a few weeks ago seems ridiculous now! Now it is time to turn my mind to enticing Thumper out naturally, rather than focussing on keeping Thumper in. (Especially before hospital protocols kick in and they start on about a 'medical induction'. Ho hum.)

However, I am sure that my state of mind has a lot to do with it. I realised some time ago that 9 September would be a cool birth-date (09/09/2009!) and being only a few days past my official due date, I thought it might be a possibility. As each day passes, I have become more and more 'decided' on this date. To the point where I have now written it on the wall calendar, in my diary, and have added to my 'to do' list "Give birth to our baby!" for tasks due on 9 September. Of course I am going to be really annoyed if Thumper leaves it any longer than this. I will have put up with the discomforts of late pregnancy for nuttin'! (I don't really mean 'for nothing', but we would rather not end up with September 11th as Thumper's birthday.)

I have also been doing some other things to stall labour... including letting some silly superstitions take hold:

• Avoided baking cakes. To entice BallFiend out when he was nine days overdue, I made a very yummy, rich chocolate cake (using Donna Hay recipe) and told everyone it was 'the baby's birthday cake, so the baby will have to be born now'. My hind-waters broke 10 hours later. I now feel confident to get back to baking again. Yum!
  
• Avoided using a particular set of flannelette sheets throughout Winter because they were the sheets we had on our bed when my hind-waters broke at the outset of BallFiend's labour. I am now planning to put these sheets on the bed on 8th September. (Aw, c'mon, they've been washed!)
  
• When practicing our hypnosis script from the hypnobirthing classes, DeepSpice has been including a message that "Thumper will not arrive prematurely".
  

And now, I am doing some things to actively encourage labour...

• Reading as many books as I can manage, because if Thumper arrives, I know I won't get to finish what I start! So every few days, when I start on a new novel and wonder if I am going to get to read the end. Even went to the Library today and borrowed a whole lot more books, knowing that I will most likely be returning them in three weeks time, unread.
  
• Finishing off those last few things on my 'to do before Thumper is born' list, including finishing off my tax return!
  

And of course, simply telling everyone and writing down on calendars and diaries that I will be busy having a baby on Wednesday!
--

Memories...

Today is our anniversary - DeepSpice and I, that is. Since I am too tired and pregnant (38 weeks tomorrow!) to be bothered going out for a fancy dinner or even to make a special night in, I am taking a trip down memory lane instead...

On this day 14 years ago, DeepSpice and I were just young, foolish, idealistic lefties, mucking about together at my sharehouse in Helen St, Northcote. It was August 21st, 1995 and one week after the La Trobe Uni student protest when we occupied the administration building for a couple of hours. DeepSpice and I were sitting on FreeloadingPhill's sofabed (which I should point out he obtained for free from his grandmother's estate... he was a freeloader even back in those days) watching TV, when the magic began.

Actually the magic really began two years earlier in 1993, after I asked DeepSpice to help me with a Music assignment. With about 3 hours until the assignment was due, I went to his room at college and demanded his help because he had done the same Music subject the previous year and I didn't like the subject anyway, so just wanted to get through it as quickly as possible. I should point out that in the end, DeepSpice was no help, as (a) he couldn't find his old assignment, (b) he was hung-over and still asleep at midday, and (c) he failed first year entirely. Anyway, this non-musical interlude led on to an increased degree of 'hanging out' together. Until, a few weeks into our fledging 'thing', I got glandular fever and was sick for about 5 weeks. Then life just sort of moved on. I got caught up in all the bigger, better things to do as a second-year uni student, and although I stayed friends with DeepSpice, I held back on getting too involved with him, lest a serious relationship interfere with all the other possibilities that are open to a second-year uni student!

Anyway, two years on and there we were, somehow both in the right place at the right time, unencumbered by romantic commitments to other people (DeepSpice more recently so than I, having just been dumped by someone about a week before). And the rest, as 'they' say, is history.


Also on this day 5 years ago, DeepSpice and I had a wedding ceremony with about 100 of our nearest and dearest family and friends. I should point out that we chose not to get married (much to StompyDad's disapproval) because we didn't see the need. We are both atheists, and we didn't see any reason for a civil marriage either: we already had a sizable home loan together which we considered was enough evidence of our commitment to each other. What we wanted was to celebrate our (then 9-year) relationship, and to ensure that all of our relatives understood that we were in a relationship for life, and not that we were just the boyfriend/girlfriend of the moment. (It gets really annoying after 9 years, when extended family invite one of us to a family-do, like a wedding, but not invite the other because they just didn't remember/recognise our relationship). Oh, and we wanted to have a party, of course! And by cleverly scheduling our wedding on the August 21st, we ensured that we wouldn't have two different dates to remember.

So anyway, we did the wedding thing, and although there were quite a lot of good things that happened in the course of the big event, I can honestly say that I would never, ever do such a thing again. It became a Frankenstein's Monster, turning into something that was completely not what we wanted. It seems that as soon as one ascribes the word 'wedding' to an event, it becomes loaded with generations of social meaning, layered with ritual and is quickly taken over by others, who are eager to relive (or perhaps re-enact) their own weddings... and this time they get to do so from the position of being the ones to slather-on the meaning and ritual, rather than being the ones subjected to it! (I guess if BallFiend or Thumper ever have a wedding, DeepSpice and I will have the chance to get our own back! Mwah-ha-ha-ha!)

The choice of date didn't really work out so well either - despite organising our wedding for the date of our relationship's anniversary, I still get mixed up anyway and think that our anniversary is August 15th. I am also hopeless at remembering how many years it has been. Thereby putting an end to the idea that it is always the male in a relationship who forgets the anniversary.

However, all that really matters is that DeepSpice and I are still happily and lovingly together after all these years, In addition, we have spawned progeny, thereby contining the over-population of the planet... and that should make those religious freaks happy. And even if it doesn't who cares! We are happy... BallFiend is a delight -- more so every day as he develops -- and I am sure that Thumper will be too. I just hope that this time next year, we are dining out somewhere special, with a nice bottle of plonk on the table and the kids safely home with a babysitter!
--

Quarter time

Assuming she lives to 100 years of age, yesterday marked quarter time for DesignerSis. It is hard to believe my baby sister is so very, very old! Nah, just kiddin' she's still just a kid. But a very mature, responsible and well-adjusted one... especially considering the sort of role models her big sisters have provided.

To celebrate 25 years since her birth, we all went out for dinner at Hellenic Republic with DesignerSis - me, DeepSpice, BallFiend, Wigward, CutLuce, DesignerMonkey and StompyDad. We ate ourselves to a standstill all, for around $32.00 each. The repast was fantastic - we had:

• Dips (Taramosalata and Melitzanosalata)
• Tiganites Patates (Deep fried potatoes chips)
• Fasolakia (green beans with feta and pine nuts)
• Kefalograviera Saganaki (Spanikopita served warm with peppered figs)
• Patzari (beetroot roasted in cumin)
• Revithia Plaki (chickpeas cooked in tomato and olive oil)
• Loytianos (snapper, baked to perfection)
• Chicken and Lamb off the spit
• Moussaka

Followed by:

• Bougatsa (Semolina custard wrapped in filo pastry)
• Loukoumades (Greek donuts)
• Risogalo (chocolate rice pudding)

The service was excellent, the food was excellent, the only thing I can really fault is that the music was too loud to talk over. This made it particularly challenging for keeping a tired, yet enthusiastic BallFiend in check.

He had refused to nap in the afternoon, so was particularly tired, then I had plonked him in creche for an hour and a half while DeepSpice and I did a parent re-education camp to learn some new strategies for dealing with those more difficult toddler/pre-schooler behaviours. Then we rushed out to dinner and kept BallFiend out till 8.00 pm (half an hour past his bedtime). However, a little after 8.00 pm, it was clear that BallFiend was exhausted so DeepSpice decided to take him home to bed, whilst I got to stay on and enjoy civilised adult conversation, and more importantly, dessert.
Apparently once he got home, he got a new burst of energy and ran through the house excitedly. However, DeepSpice skillfully calmed him down with a story and had in bed a mere 30 minutes after arriving home. To reward his altruism, I took home a donut for DeepSpice.

Overall, and despite his tiredness, BallFiend was very well-behaved for a 2.75 year old - he threw a few bits of food and made an interesting 'installation' in his water glass using nothing more than strips of lamb, Melitzanosalata and paper serviettes. Mm-mmm! He also seemed to enjoy eating the food - he tried the chicken, beetroot, the dips and pita bread but was fairly cautious about trying other things. As he is getting older, it is getting easier to eat out with a small child... pity this newly acquired possibility for a social life is about to be smashed to smithereens when Thumper arrives in just over two months time.
--

Mother's Day

I really only wanted one thing for Mother's Day - to sleep in till at least 8.00 am (well, that and a box of Roses chocolates). BallFiend woke us at 6.45 am. So no sleep in, but at least it wasn't a 5.30 am wake up I suppose.

Still, I did get to lie in and have a hot cup of tea and breaky in bed, many thanks to DeepSpice (although he does this for me most days, so it wasn't really a mother's-day specific thing). Then BallFiend brought me in a gift that he made at crèche - a noteholder to go on the fridge. We have now officially reached the point where the endearing-yet-truely-awful-handmade-gift-for-mum-on-mothers-day rite-of-passage begins. I remember many long weeks spent at school in Grade 2 making my mum a padded coathanger. This tasteful craft project involved:

1. collecting plastic bread bags
2. cutting bread bags into strips
3. tieing the plastic strips around a wire coathanger
   

It was a long and tedious process and I was bored-to-tears after about an hour of assembling it. Still my mum claimed she loved it... and whether this was true or not, she continued to use it for her jackets for the rest of her life. I suppose it was functional even though very unattractive.

Anyway... at 9.15 am, DesignerSis and Wigward arrived to take their nephew out to the Aquarium to see the penguins. It was weird waving goodbye to BallFiend as he drove off in another car. Apart from when he went with VolubleK after the Wedding, he has never been taken anywhere in a car without myself or DeepSpice being in the car too; and this was the first time I had ever actually watched him drive away without me.

Our child-free morning was spent industriously - planting new trees and other plants in the garden (purchased at CERES Nursery on Saturday):

• a Eucalyptus forrestiana (Fuschia Gum) to replace the E. kitsonia that died in the January 2009 heatwave;
• a Scleranthus biflorus - a groundcover in the back garden to replace a Phormium (New Zealand Flax) that didn't do well under my 'complete neglect' gardening regime. When we had the garden landscaping done, I specified only Australian native plants were to be used, but somehow four of these NZ Flax snuck in. They are water-hungry things... there are two still hanging in there.
  
• a Grevillea nudiflora (Curvy Tops) - a prostrate groundcover for the front garden;
  
• a Kennedia prostrata (Scarlet Runner, Running Postman) - another prostrate groundcover for the front garden;
• a Grevillea pteridifolia (Golden Grevillea) - another tree in the front garden... actually I had intended to get a 2m bush but didn't read the label properly so have ended up with a (potentially) 4m high tree. Hopefully it won't be too big!
• I also bought a punnet of lettuce seedlings and a punnet of spinach seedlings but ran out of time to plant these.
  

In addition, I shifted a daisy bush (to make room for the Grevillea tree) and DeepSpice put our hard rubbish out on the street ready for collection on Monday.


After gardening, we had organised to lunch at a restaurant with GrandPaul, Gran and StompyDad. We had planned to enjoy lunch unencumbered by BallFiend, but the Aquarium trip didn't take as long as I hoped expected, so BallFiend was back in time to come along.

I was concerned that he would be tired out and ready for a nap at about 1.30 pm, but he held up just fine and loved his spaghetti. So did the people at the next table who said they got a real kick out of watching him eat it, strand-by-strand, biting each one in the middle then sucking the ends in. Personally, I enjoyed watching the grandfathers, seated either side of BallFiend flinch and cry out in horror every time a bit of bolognese sauce went anywhere other than BallFiend's mouth!

Gran, DeepSpice and I shared a tapas platter and I also ordered a pasta dish but as this hadn't arrived by the time everyone had just about finished their meals, I asked the waitress to cancel the order. She was very apologetic that my meal had been missed and so didn't charge us for BallFiend's pasta as compensation. I was happy, since I had got too full on the tapas to fit the pasta in anyway!
--

Wedding of the FULK, Part 4 - Wedding Reception

We arrived in South Yarra at the reception venue about half an hour before guests were due to arrive. Time for a few last photos with the Cadillacs. Then "the boys" got stuck into beers (thoughtfully provided by the chauffeurs), "the girls" had a glass of bubbles, and I made do with soft drink.

We went inside for yet more photos and then finally I got to relax (collapse!) on a couch, where I remained for the next two hours. Illness, pregnancy, insufficient sleep and a very long day had taken their toll and I could not have got up even if I wanted to! I held court like royalty and made everyone come to me if they wanted to chat. The downside to this was getting stuck talking to certain people who I would have preferred to quickly exchange pleasantries with, then avoid.

After a decent rest and some food (I did not treat the canapés with the delicacy they deserved, instead scoffing down two at a time), I was at last capable of wandering around a bit to socialise. The main meal was served - a delicious middle eastern style feast. I had several serves and the food, plus sugary soft drink, gave me the sustenance I needed to last a few more hours.

The wedding cake appeared, providing both the basis for the ritual 'cutting of the cake' and more importantly, it was also dessert. The cake was extremely delicious! It was homemade by Wigward's sister... a really yummy, super-rich chocolate cake with Frangelico icing and decorated with edible red love hearts. The top tier was a traditional circle-shaped cake and it was placed on a cake stand with multiple tiers below, each covered with individual cup cakes. (The venue charges $2.50 per slice to cut the cake in their kitchen, so this way, the happy couple saved about $250.)

Later came the wedding speeches (or maybe this was before the cake cutting, I can't quite remember) by StompyDad, DesignerMonkey's parents, DesignerMonkey's brother (and best man), and rounded off by the groom and bride themselves. All very good - lots of laughs and love. Speeches were followed by an impromptu 'bridal waltz' at the urging of friends, after which much more dancing ensued.

Much later (or what felt like much later), I looked at the time... 11.30 pm! The function was scheduled to end at 11.30 pm and my last brideslave job of the evening was to ensure all the wedding gifts were safely transported home. I was amazed I had held up this long and though sorry to see the festivities come to an end, I was eagerly looking forward to going to bed. I started the rounds of saying goodbye to people and packing the gifts up to take home. Then I rechecked the time. It was only 10.30 pm. Argh! Still, it worked out quite well, because it took me the full hour just to say goodbye to everyone and pack up the gifts, so it ended up that DeepSpice and I were in the car and driving home right on the dot of 11.30 pm; and home asleep in bed by 12.30 pm. What a party animal I am in my old age!

Anyway, overall a great night out was had by all - CutLuce and DesignerMonkey make a very happy couple.
--

Wedding of the FULK, Part 3 - Wedding Ceremony

We arrived at the town hall where the ceremony was to occur and were met by the celebrant and the ushers (Gran and GrandPaul). GrandPaul informed me that BallFiend was sound asleep on the floor at the back of the room; he then raced off back upstairs to take his seat. I thought I must have misheard. I had left a carefully written running sheet for DeepSpice to follow on wedding morn. Including, that BallFiend was to be put into his cot for a nap at midday, woken at 2.00 pm and dressed and out the door by 2.30 pm. But no time to ponder GrandPaul's cryptic message now... it was time to go!

The ceremony was held in a smaller chamber of the town hall... a room that look like it had probably once been a court. It had an imposing dark timber balustrade at the front and behind this was a large leather chair for the judge with an imposing dark timber canopy. The ceremony commenced with DesignerSis being first down the aisle, followed by me, then MissJo, and finally CutLuce on the arm of StompyDad. A very nervous-looking DesignerMonkey watched from the front of the room. Despite telling the make-up artist that I wouldn't cry so wasn't worried about mascara running, I felt tears well up in my eyes as the bride came down the aisle. She looked beautiful, excited, very happy - beaming from ear to ear - and not at all nervous.

During the ceremony, I snuck a few looks around the room at all the family and friends. I couldn't see BallFiend anywhere - asleep or otherwise. I hadn't seen my boy for nearly 24 hours - I was missing him lots and looking forward to seeing him again. But being 'on stage' at my sister's wedding was not the time to ask so I had to defer my curiosity about what-on-earth DeepSpice had done with BallFiend.

After a lovely ceremony, there was a pause while the marriage certificate was signed and lots of photos taken. I took the much-needed opportunity to sit down next to DeepSpice and the celebrant brought me a glass of water. I asked Deepspice where BallFiend was and DeepSpice gestured to another balustrade at the back of the room. "He's asleep on the floor behind there". I was astounded - how could he sleep though all this? Apparently he had refused to nap, had a massive tantrum when DeepSpice was trying to get him dressed, then fell asleep in the car on the way to the town hall. DeepSpice carried BallFiend in, still asleep, and there he stayed. Clearly my concerns that a toddler with jam-laden fingers, excited at the first sight of his mum after 24 hours, would come tearing up to hug me were unfounded.

With the marriage certificate signed, the celebrant formally closed the ceremony by presenting the certificate to the happy couple and instructing DesignerMonkey to "kiss the bride". Then the bride and groom left the room to "Love Me Do" by The Beatles. (As predicted by all three of us sisters, StompyDad was heard to say "Oh, I know this song (long pause), it's The Beatles!")

I spotted BallFiend as we exited the room. Sure enough, he was soundly asleep on the floor, having slept through the entire ceremony. I tried to rouse him, which took a good 10 minutes, and was eventually rewarded with a super-grumpy, disoriented toddler who was not at all excited to see me.

Then the post-wedding madness hit - family and friends wanting to talk, hug and kiss and the photographers trying to gather everyone together for group photos. BallFiend was brought along, grizzling, in DeepSpice's arms, all the time saying 'no photos'. After the large group photos, BallFiend had some snacks and immediately his mood improved. Suddenly he was excited and running amok, exploring the large open foyer of the town hall.

Weariness was setting in. I really wanted to sit down and spend a few moments with my boy before DeepSpice had to cart him off to meet VoluableK (who had kindly offered to mind BallFiend overnight for us). But no rest of the tired, sick, pregnant, brideslave - I was dragged along with the rest of the bridal party for photos in more aesthetically interesting parts of the building. On the positive side, BallFiend's improved mood meant that CutLuce was finally able to have a few nice, happy photos taken with her nephew. Then DeepSpice whisked BallFiend away and after a few more photos outside in front of the Cadillacs, I was whisked away with the rest of the bridal party to the reception venue.

Wedding of the FULK, Part 2 - Wedding Day morn

Wedding Day arrived. CutLuce was up at 6.30 am and flushed the loo which was very loud through the paper-thin walls, and thus I was awake too, and still totally exhausted. I definitely don't recommend being a sick, pregnant brideslave. Breakfast was fairly lesuirely, and I after eating I wandered down to a local florist to get some flowers for the bride - pink lilies and yellow roses.

Then, from 10.30 am it was all go, go, go. The hair and make-up people arrived, and the long and involved process of disguising our natural beauty behind a facade of socially-accoladed, artificially-enhanced beauty began. I was suffering from waves of nausea due to the antibiotics and pregnancy-induced heartburn but did my best to remain cheerful for the sake of the bride. Sadly, it was the bride looking after me, bringing cups of tea, rather than the other way around.

Eventually we were all dolled up, my nausea started to abate (with the aid of an antacid tablet), my heartburn stared to abate (with the aid of frequent sips of milk), wedding bouquets arrived, the chauffeured wedding cars (three 1959 red Cadillacs) appeared out the front and an air of excitement spread through the room. We brideslaves zipped CutLuce into her wedding dress and tried to stay out of the way of the photographer as she captured this important moment. StompyDad arrived to escort the bride and was very impressed with the wedding dress ("stunning!").

At 3.00 pm, we hopped into the Cadillacs and drove slowly to the ceremony venue. I travelled with DesignerSis in the sedan, while CutLuce, StompyDad and MissJo (the other brideslave) travelled in the convertible. The groom and "boys" had left earlier in a two-door Cadillac so that they could be made to stand nervously at the front awaiting the grand entrance of the bride.

I was amazed at how much I enjoyed the ride. Prior to the wedding, when CutLuce was becoming concerned about the cost of the wedding, I had suggested cutting out the cars and just getting family members to drive the bridal party in their own cars. But DesignerMonkey really wanted the cars, so they stayed. It was a really nice treat. Especially for StompyDad, who always used to carry on about Elvis and Cadillacs when we were kids... and that's another story.

Wedding of the FULK, Part 1 - Wedding Eve

The big day approached... Good Friday, April 10, Wedding Eve. For CutLuce and DesignerMonkey (whose initials collectively create FULK) this entailed making final preparations and hours of packing the car with wedding gear, clothing and other necessities before heading off to check into their respective serviced apartments in South Yarra around 2.00 pm.

Meanwhile, DeepSpice and I were getting stuck into our antibiotics after coming down with tonsillitis two days earlier. Many thanks to BallFiend for sharing - he had been really sick on Monday... even fell asleep on the couch around 11 am, which he has never done before. He usually only sleeps when in his cot. By Wednesday, BallFiend was back in top super-energetic form, perfectly timed to coincide with DeepSpice and I descending into fever, exhaustion and the pain of inflamed tonsils. On Thursday, I gave in and rang for an appointment with the doctor - I was amazed that I was able to get an appointment at 4.30 pm on the day before Easter long weekend. (Admittedly, it was at a dodgy-looking place which calls itself a 'family medical centre' but is more like an emergency department in a third world hospital. They also offer drive-through circumcisions - need I say more?!)

Anyway, after resting up through most of Friday (well as much as is possible with a BallFiend running wild around the house), DeepSpice drove me over to South Yarra to join the bride and the other brideslaves for a pre-wedding night of girly bonding. We arrived around 5.00 pm and found the bride surrounded by the rest of the bridal party, various cousins, aunts and friends hanging out, drinking tea and bubbles, and eating a yummy plum torte baked by DesignerSis.

BallFiend played kick-to-kick on the balcony with StompyDad and CousinJ until BallFiend kicked the ball over the edge and into the yard of the apartment below. Eventually, family and friends started to leave; DeepSpice took BallFiend home for dinner and bed, and all that remained were the bridal party and a close friend of CutLuce.

We all headed out for dinner at a local pub, then returned to the apartment. The "boys" (DesignerMonkey's brothers) and the "girls" hung out for a while drinking and smoking(!), and finally around 8.30 pm, went off to their own apartment to watch movies. CutLuce brought out the facial gear and we stayed up way past my bedtime doing girly things.

The return of StompyDad

At about 8.30 am today, StompyDad's plane touched down in Melbourne. Three long months of travel concludes with a very low-key airport greeting party - just BallFiend and me. But StompyDad was nicely surprised because he wasn't expecting me to be there at all. (Our car had to go in for a service and I wasn't sure if I could arrange an alternative... but I ended up getting StompyDad's own enormous tank and driving that out to the airport.)

We returned to my place and StompyDad handed out travel gifts and trinkets (handmade keyrings from Sappada, clothing sized 6 - 8 for BallFiend (should fit him in about 3-4 years from now) and a neck-scarf for me), showed a few photos and recanted some travel highlights.

Then, despite saying he wasn't tired and that he had adjusted to the timezone already (due to having a 3-day stopover in Singapore), StompyDad promptly fell asleep on the couch, only to be woken 15 minutes later when BallFiend went over to him and yelled "WAKE UP!!!!" at the top of his lungs.

When he decided he better head home, do some shopping and generally come back down to earth after three months of travelling, the spirit of Frank Spencer emerged:

1. First StompyDad had to repack his stuffed-to-bursting suitcase (complete with brown packing tape holding the corners together). He insisted that he did not want to take a bag I offered to hold the overflow ("I don't want to carry another bag"). Eventually space was created when some of the contents from a backpack were removed -- including a genuine Italian ski-jacket in white with red and navy trim and a genuine Italian racing ski-helmet with visor(!!) -- and placed into the bag I offered (a freebie from the street festival yesterday). StompyDad only conceding to take the extra bag when I said he could throw it away later, or keep it in the car as a spare shopping bag.
2. Then, StompyDad made his initial attempt at a get-away in the aforementioned tank - he could not disengage the 'hand brake' (which in this particular vehical is a foot-pedal). After much ado and insistence that 'it must be broken', it was finally released and he was on his way home. Well, it was the first car he had driven in three months I suppose...
   

It's nice to see Frank still about!

The Reclaimation

Welcome to my second attempt at this blog... seeing as I lost interest in it (many years ago) after about 10 posts. So, I hereby reclaim my blog. This time, there is no specific focus. Just going to write about my life and stuff that interests me. PS. Thanks to FreeloadingPhill for the inspiration.


Here goes... what's happening with me at the moment:


Bun in the oven

I'm pregnant, for the second time. Expecting my next "bundle of joy" in September. I was really 'morning sick' (from morn till night) until about 5 days ago. Then it just suddenly stopped. Same happened last time, except not till I reached the 14 week mark. This time, it stopped around 9 weeks. Yippee! (Still utterly exhausted though).

Me (and my tree) in the oven

I nearly died in the recent heatwave: three days in a row of horrid, awful, unfathomably hot weather: 43, 44 and 45 degrees respectively. (OK I exaggerate a bit on the 'nearly died' part, but I did nearly collapse when waiting for a tram home from work on Friday in 45 degree heat - pregnancy and heat waves do not mix).
The tree in my back yard died in the heatwave. It was planted in March and had been growing so well... then a few days ago, I watched as its leaves turned from green to brown over a few hours.

Cake in the oven

I've just had a birthday, so even though I've just aged another day in the past 24 hours, I feel like I have got a whole year older, *sigh*
Still, it was one of the best birthdays I have had in a long time. StompyDad's birthday is two days before mine and usually I have to share the occasion with him, but this year he is overseas so I got to have my birthday all to myself. Deepspice, BallFiend and I had crepes for brunch with Gran and GrandPaul, then BBQ for dinner at DesignerSis and Wigward's along with CutLuce and DesignerMonkey for some excellent company. I even got a birthday cake, store-bought courtesy of my sister though - not from her oven. (It is still way too hot for baking! Though I suppose some poor sucker somewhere had to bake it.) Unfortunately it was too windy to light the candles, but it was good regardless.
The only disappointment was the distinct lack of presents. I love getting presents! I received a necklace from Deepspice, and a book from my StompyDad. Hopefully something else might be forthcoming... my sisters did hint.