As easy as buying a new epipen

Here's why it took about 4 hours over several weeks to get BallFiend a new epipen...

1. Go to GP to get new script and anaphylaxis action plan - this took about 1 hour (including the 40 mins waiting time because the doctor was running behind).
   
2. Go to Pharmacy to purchase epipens. Realise as I hand over the script that the GP has only written one epipen on the script (It should be two - same thing happened last year; hopefully I will remember when we return to the GP for a new script next year!). So pharmacist has to phone GP for authorisation to release a second epipen. GP is not available so pharmacist leaves a message and says she will call me once the epipen is ready for collection. About 30 mins.
   
3. After waiting for two days with no call from the pharmacist, phone Pharmacy to check if GP has authorised second epipen. Yes epipen is ready for collection. That took 5 mins (of which 4 mins is waiting on hold).
   
4. Return to Pharmacy to collect second epipen. About 30 mins.
   
5. Prepare Anaphylaxis Action Plan - take a new portrait photo of BallFiend, adjust size to fit the square on the Action Plan, print photo and stick it on. Scan the action plan. Print copies for School, cubs, etc. 60 mins.
   
6. Upload new action plan onto BallFiend's online health information form for Cubs. 15 mins.
   
7. Update first aid kits (Home and School ones) - insert new action plans and put in new epipens. Mark old epipens as expired. 15 mins.
   
8. Return expired epipens to pharmacy.
   
9. Update details on the online reminder service ("Epiclub") with the new batch number and expiry date. 10 mins. 

How to sleep-in when you have kids

This is what it takes to get a sleep-in around here...

1. Just before kids go to bed we give them instructions for the next morning... what they can and cannot do, not to wake us up unless it's an emergency, discuss which things constitute an emergency, practice closing the bathroom door quietly and NOT slamming the toilet lid down, etc.

Later, DeepSpice and I litter the house with reminder notes* before we go to bed.

* this is a technique deeply ingrained in me as a result of growing up the regime of StompyDad.

2. The kids get up in the morning and read them (hopefully), and even follow the instructions (she says, even more hopefully).

Results:

This sytem works sometimes and we get to sleep in undisturbed by doors slamming, bickering, kids coming in asking for help to install Minecraft mods, etc., etc.

And when we get up, we have two kids who (although now square-eyed) have actually eaten something so are not completely feral and hangry. 

This morning, when I got up, I found a note from BallFiend on my desk. When he took the Weetbix out of the pantry, he had seen the bags for baking chocolate chips I had hurriedly dumped there yesterday whilst I was moving stuff around when looking for something else at the back of another shelf.

--

Code

BallFiend came home from school today and said "Mum, I want to learn to code."

Ah, that's my boy!

Of course, the reason he wants to learn to code is so he can make his own mods in Minecraft.

I'm OK with Minecraft as a gateway to geekery.

--

Portrait of Woofer

Thumper's picture of BallFiend's toy dog, in chalk on the driveway:



--

About Mum

There is a thing that's been going around on Facebook recently where you ask you kid(s) a bunch of questions about their mum. So here's how mine responded...

What is something Mum always says to you?

Thumper (age 5 yrs, 9 mths): I love you.

BallFiend (age 8 yrs, 10 mths): I love you.

What makes Mum happy?

T: Being nice. Chocolate.

B: Me.

What makes Mum sad?

T: When I get angry at you... like you feel a bit, like, embarrassed.

B: Me being stupid and annoying and disobedient.

How does Mum make you laugh?

T: Say funny stuff.

B: Tell jokes.

What was Mum like as a child?

T: Little.

B: I don't know.

How old is Mum?

T: Fourteen.

B: Forty.

How tall is Mum?

T: About as tall as the door [whilst pointing to the door].

B: About a metre and a half.

What is Mum's favourite thing to do?

T: iPad... play the fishy-lolly game. [That'd be Candy Crush Saga.]

B: Probably be happy.

What does Mum do when you're not here?

T: Go out... ABA meeting. Cheekily, sneakily go out.

B: Usually, if I am not here... something like work.

[I think they both missed the part of the question 'when you're not here'!]

If Mum became famous what would it be for?

T: Getting lots of money.

B: How well you cook stuff. You cook really good bread and cakes and stuff.

What is Mum good at?

T: Yoga, 'cause you've done it lots of times.

B: Cooking 'cause of your good cooking skills 'cause you make really good food.

What is Mum not good at?

T: Trying to hide in small places 'cause you're quite big.

B: Playing Minecraft 'cause you've only played it about once.

What is Mum's job?

T: Work... going to work. To get money. Work on computers.

B: Umm... I don't know. Doing phone calls and stuff I guess.

What makes you proud of Mum?

T: You're very brave.

B: That you love me.

What's Mum's favourite food?

T: Ice cream.

B: Chocolate.

[Chocolate is the correct answer.]

What do you and Mum do together?

T: Go out places... the animals, the zoo.

B: Happy, fun stuff... Go to school together. Ride bikes together. Go to Phillip Island.

[Umm, no Thumper, we haven't been to the zoo in well over a year. We did however just return from a long weekend at Phillip Island today.]

How are you and Mum the same?

T: We have both got light skin.

B: Probably that we sort of, like, have the same colour skin. 

How are you and Mum different?

T: We don't have the same hair colour.

B: You don't play Minecraft very much and I play it quite a lot. Also different clothes. Girl and boy... so basically male and female.

If your Mum was a cartoon character who would she be?

T: Pikachu.

B: Road Runner

[Huh? Huh!?]

How do you know Mum loves you?

T: 'Cause you say it all the time.

B: Because you say it. 

What does Mum like best about Dad?

T: He's sometimes kind to you.

B: That he loves you. 

[Thumper, 'sometimes' is a bit of an understatement!]

Where is Mum's favourite place to go?

T: Movies.

B: Home.

[BallFiend is correct. Thumper is way off - I hardly ever go to the movies - definitely not a favourite place to go.]

How old was Mum when she had you?

T: Ten.

B: [after a few minutes pause while doing some calculations on his fingers/in his head] 33 or 32.

-- 

Sarcastic things

BallFiend: What's for dinner, Mum?

Me: Things on a plate.

BallFiend: That's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very... informative.

Me: That's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very sarcastic.

--

Carrot sticks

"Thumper, did you say you are a carrot-eating twig, or a twig-eating carrot?"

- BallFiend

--

Anatomical difference

"Ouch! That hit me where my testicles are supposed to be."

- Thumper, whilst rough-housing with BallFiend.

--

Channelling Dame Slap

Coversation over breakfast this morning...

BallFiend: "Thumper, if I have ten bananas and I take two bananas in my lunchbox to school how many bananas have I eaten?"

Thumper looks puzzled, as do I.

BallFiend: "...so I take two bananas to school every day for five days. So how many bananas do I have?"

Thumper: "ummm...."

Me: "Ten?"

BallFiend: "Yes."

Me: "what inspired you to ask Thumper that question?"

BallFiend: "I'm helping Thumper get ready for starting prep."

--

Harmonic dissonance

"Thumper, could you please sing something else!" pleaded BallFiend as Thumper began yet another medly of Frozen songs.

"Alright" Thumper responded, "like Party Rock Anthem?"

--

Measuring space-time

BallFiend: Mum, are light years measures of time or length?

That's my boy.
--

BallFiend's art folio, terms 1 & 2

This semester, BallFiend's artwork is heavily influenced by all the Captain Underpants books he has been reading, as well as all the Angry Birds games he's been playing plus a dash of the Trash Packs...

Front cover of the sketch book

Foot creature, with TNT

Imaginary landscape

A missile being shot into a worm hole.
"I haven't finished writing 'missile' on the missile yet" says BallFiend. 

The crown jewels (inspired by the Tower of London book he got whilst in London earlier this year).

Back cover of the sketch book.

--

Cigars of the Pharaohs

BallFiend is completely into reading Tintin at the moment. Most recently he read "Cigars of the Pharaohs". When I asked him, "What is 'Cigars of the Pharaohs' about?" he corrected me and said, "NO! It's called..."and restated the title, but pronouncing it as sigh-gars of the para-doff.

He refused to allow DeepSpice or me to correct his pronounciation. Which is fine with me... I reckon BallFiend's way makes it sound like the title of  a Doctor Who episode and I like Doctor Who better than Tintin anyway.

--

Thumper's latest foray into interpretive portraiture

It appears that our children are blessed with natural artistic talent.

Reminiscent of one of BallFiend's early works "Portrait of a scary-looking grandmother" -- which explores gender and the female archetype in modern Australian family life, juxtaposing warmth of the loving grandmother with that of the boogey-man, a one-eyed, saw-toothed Mr Man-like creature -- today Thumper unveiled her lastest work, inspired by the cover of the Australian Breastfeeding Association's funfilled activity book.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I present...

"Woman" by Thumper. Biro on upcycled, recycled paper, A4 80gsm.

In order to contextualise the exceptional talent of this gifted young artist, for reference, this is the cover of the "funfilled activity book" which provided the inspiration for "Woman":

--

Excuse #23 for getting up after lights-out

I can't get to sleep because the eyelashes in this eye are knotted together.

- BallFiend, at about 8.45 pm

--

Winning

The aim is to lose pieces. You can even get the other player to take them for you!

 - Ballfiend to Thumper, on how to play chess against him.

Groucho

Thumper: Look BallFiend!

From the other end of the house I hear peals of hysterical laughter.

BallFiend: Oh Thumper! 

More laughter.

BallFiend: Mum! Thumper's drawn a moustache on her face.

Me: Thumper, why did you do that?

Thumper: I wanted to make BallFiend laugh.

--

School Camp - grade 1

Strangely at BallFiend's school, they don't just take kids from the older year levels on camp, they even take the grade ones! For about the past six months, you could listen in on parent conversations just about anywhere in the school grounds and hear parents agonising over whether to send their little seven-year olds to camp. The teachers however were adamant, they insisted that they could handle it.

There was no (or at least very little) agonising on my part. As soon as I heard that camp for the grade one, two and three students was going ahead, I was lining up Gran and GrandPaul to mind Thumper for the same two nights that BallFiend would be on camp and looking forward to two child-free nights with DeepSpice (but that's another story).

The day before camp, I helped BallFiend pack his bag, so he'd know what was in it. We chose his clothes and BallFiend placed them into the bag. We packed his toothbrush, toothpaste, soap and sunscream (yes, that's what he calls it and who am I to correct him?). We packed his pyjamas, blankie and Moo-Moo (he still has his blankie and menagerie of soft toys that he likes to sleep with). We practiced unpacking his sleeping bag, climbing in and out, then re-packing the sleeping bag. We talked about looking after his belongings, where to put his dirty clothes, practiced turning the torch on and off... and so on.

Finally the big day arrived...

Excitement builds as the kids wait for the coach to arrive.
(It finally turned up 30 mins late!)

The aftermath

When DeepSpice and I arrived at school to collect BallFiend today, we found him sitting under the rain-water tank, reading a Tashi book. He refused to stop reading to say hello, he barely even looked up from the book to acknowledge us. So we waited about 5 minutes until he finished reading and then he announced "But I wanted to go to Gran and GrandPaul's house". (Usually on Wednesdays, BallFiend's grandparents pick him up from school as both DeepSpice and I are at work but we'd made special arrangements to take leave from work so we could collect him after camp... coz, you know, we thought he might have missed us and would want to see us.) 

When unpacking BallFiend's bag, I discovered he had worn the same clothes for three days running. He had changed his underpants but that was only because he got wet paddling at the beach.

BallFiend's brand new 'angry birds' toothbrush (that he selected himself and was so excited to show off to the other kids) came home in it's same, brand new state. Yep, he had not brushed his teeth for three days straight.

BallFiend told me that he went to sleep wearing his glasses on the second night because he forgot to take them off... "and they didn't even get squashed Mum!".


I didn't bother to ask him too much about camp, knowing that the answer would be "I can't remember". Instead I asked him to draw me a map of the camp to show me where his cabin was. The flood-gates opened...

"I was in yellow cabin, in bed in the back left corner. I was on a bottom bunk and (starts wimpering) I really wanted to go on a top bunk). There was a games room and they had two pool tables and air hockey table and three table tennis tables, and A. (another child) let me watch him play on his iPad but he wouldn't let me have a turn.  Outside the games room there was the real, actual cross that Jesus was put on. I know because B. (another child) told me. It even has the real nails in it."

--

Bath time

Seconds after getting in the bath, BallFiend says, cheekily, "I'm doing a wee".

DeepSpice is understandably disgusted. "BallFiend, you're supposed to go to the toilet before you get into the bath. Now you and Thumper are sitting in your wee."

Thumper pipes up "we're sitting in my wee too."

Sigh. 

--

Got the jiggles

During dinner, BallFiend is jiggling around in his chair...

Stompy: Do you need to go to the toilet?
BallFiend: No.
JudgeMingus: Are you jiggling because you are full of energy?
BallFiend: No.
JudgeMingus: Are you jiggling because you are feeling silly?
BallFiend: No.
JudgeMingus: Is it because your bottom is itchy?
BallFiend: No.
JudgeMingus: Is it because you want to go for a run around the block?
BallFiend:  No. It is because for one minute... I have gone completely bonkers!

--