Stackin' it on

It is three weeks since Thumper graced us with her presence... three weeks that have gone by so fast!

Thumper had another weigh-in this morning: the 'two-week old' developmental assessment for newborns (one week late), where the local Maternal and Child Health (MCH) Nurse weighs, measures, pokes and prods Thumper and simultaneously (though more subtly) assesses my competence as a parent. Compared to the frequency that BallFiend was weighed and measured (every few days or so it felt like!), the local MCH nurses don't seem very obsessed interested in Thumper's growth. Guess they figure if I didn't stuff up BallFiend too badly, I must know what I am doing this time around.

Anyway, we both 'passed' with flying colours:

• Thumper has put on a 780 g since she was 4 days old (that's over 45 g per day). Proof that mum's milk is super juice!
• Strangely though, Thumper has shrunk a little, measuring 51.7 cm in length (compared with 52 cm at birth). According to NurseVirginia, this can be explained by the fact that 'those midwives in the hospitals don't know how to measure babies'. Another factor might be that it was a student midwife who weighed and measured Thumper in the hospital.
• Whilst Thumper still has a teeny, tiny head, it has grown 5 cm in circumference since her birth 3 weeks ago: now 38 cm.
  
• As neither DeepSpice or I have dropped, drowned or broken the baby (as yet), there is no need to call in the child protection people.
• Everything else is normal, normal, normal.

On the home front, Thumper is a star-baby... does everything just how the textbooks say she should...

• Feeding: feeds every three to four hours during the day (and sometimes even less often if I don't wake her!) and overnight has a feed around 10.00 pm, then another sometime between 2.00 am - 4.00 am, then has her first feed for the morning around 8.00 - 9.00 am. She feeds quickly - around 5 - 10 minutes per side.
  
• Sleeping: overnight, sleeps between 4 - 6 hours at a stretch, occasionally longer (one night she slept from midnight until I woke her at 8.45 am!) and in the daytime she sleeps anywhere from 2 - 4 hours at a time.
• Settling: almost always settles herself to sleep if we place her in her cot when she is drowsy. (Complete opposite to BallFiend who we conditioned from birth to require rocking to sleep in someone's arms or breastfeeding to sleep.)

The only difficulty is with Thumper's reflux which really seems to bother her. She does the normal baby burping and possetting in the first 15 minutes after a feed. But then an hour later (and once as long as two and a half hours later) she vomits very forcefully (we're talking projective milk-spew out the nose!). It obviously causes her distress - she screams and her face contorts in pain. If she is asleep when this happens, it wakes her up. So we are currently debating about whether to take her to the doctor to see if any medication is recommended, or just wait it out and see if she grows out of it in a few weeks/months.

Thumper just after a reflux-out-the-nose episode.

It is really nice to have a baby at home again - and I am making sure I take lots of time to enjoy the experience (since this is it, there ain't no more!). In hindsight, I am realising that I didn't really get much time to enjoy BallFiend's early days, because I was so sleep deprived and in pain when breastfeeding. Whilst we loved having BallFiend as a baby (and continue to love him of course!), it was hard to enjoy the experience at the time because we were so tired and busy learning how to be parents. It is so completely different this time... it is wonderful! I feel very blessed!

My advice to any would-be parent: have your second child first.
--

My shitty day

Some days, you just look back and think: why did I bother?

Wake up at 7.00 am to the sounds of BallFiend. Still tired after getting up to feed Thumper at 4.00 am. My body is still set to 'zombie mode' as I struggle through the morning routine - breakfasts, showers, dressing kids, dressing ourselves, changing nappies, dishes, etc. Thank goodness DeepSpice is still on leave - I cannot begin to imagine how I am going to manage once he goes back to work.

We attempt to leave the house by 10.30 am with entire family (DeepSpice, BallFiend, Thumper and me) in time to get to a walk in the park in Carlton with our local ABA group, which starts at 11.00 am. BallFiend throws a tantum:

"I don't want to go out." he whines.
"OK, you can stay here then, and we will go out without you." I reply.
"NO! I want to come."
"OK you can come too."
"NOOO!! I don't want to come."
(repeat for about 15 minutes)

Finally at 11.00 am, we are all in the car, strapped in and ready to go - running late, but still time to get there and catch up with the others.

The car feels strange as we drive off - like there is something stuck under it. (Strangely my first thought was that it might be a dead body!) DeepSpice gets out to look. Front driver-side tyre is flat. DeepSpice changes tyre with BallFiend supervising. Thumper waits in the car.

At 11.20 am we are on our way (stopping off at a mechanic's garage to inflate the spare tyre that is now on the front driver-side wheel). I phone up to find out where the walkers are up to. It starts to rain and the ABA group leader confirms that it is raining in Carlton too. The walk is abandoned and we arrange to meet the group in a cafe opposite the park.

Arrive at the cafe. No parking anywhere close. DeepSpice drops me and the kids off, then leaves to find a parking space. 5 metres from the cafe door, BallFiend decides to have another tantrum. This time he wants to ride in the pram, not walk. Eventually I get the three of us inside. The ABA group is there so I sit BallFiend at a table and get him some lunch. DeepSpice arrives and orders us hot chocolates.

When it is time to leave, BallFiend throws another tantrum about not wanting to leave. About 15 minutes later, we finally get him out the door.

We drive the car up to our regular tyre shop in Brunswick. Bad news: tyre cannot be repaired. Worse news: The tyre-guy reckons that our tyre was deliberately slashed because the puncture is on the side-wall near the wheel rim ("unless you drove into a really sharp curve in the past few days, it was done deliberately"). But also some good news: they have an identical tyre in stock so we can just buy one, and don't need to buy a matched pair. I breastfeed Thumper at the front of the shop while the tyre is replaced. At least there are no girlie magazines or calendars on the wall.

$90.00 later we are on our way home. It is 2.00pm and still raining on and off. BallFiend is annoyed that he didn't get to the playground as had been planned. Another tantrum to reinforce the point. We get home and take BallFiend to his cot for his afternoon nap but it is very late so he won't sleep. Therefore I don't get an afternoon nap either. We get BallFiend up and DeepSpice takes him out to a playground for a while.

I attempt to do some housework and prepare dinner, but then have to stop to feed Thumper. So when DeepSpice and BallFiend get home, nothing is ready. BallFiend is overtired and doesn't want to eat anyway. We battle through an I-don't-want-any-dinner tantrum, an I-don't-want-to-get-ready-for-bed tantrum, then an I-don't-want-to-go-to-bed tantrum. At last, he is in bed and we can relax to the distant sounds of screaming as the last of the tantrum storm fades out and gives way to sleep.
--

So considerate!

Thumper is now 12 days old and we are all settling into life in a four-person family quite well.

I have to commend her on how very considerate she is (despite the aches and pains she inflicted upon me during pregnancy!). Right from the day she was born, she seems to do her utmost to fit in around everyone else's needs and plans. For instance (damn... been reading BallFiend too many Mr Men books again - I hate the way they always use the phrase 'for instance' over and over again!):

I went into labour at about 5.00 am on a Monday morning (7 September). A nice slow and gentle start with very mild contractions, about 10 mins apart. This meant:

• I could just stay in bed and doze until BallFiend woke up at 7.00 am (although I roused DeepSpice at about 5.30 am to tell him I thought I might be in labour), and I didn't need to phone any of my extended family and friends until a much more reasonable hour of 8.00 am.
• A few days earlier, DeepSpice had suggested that if I could manage to give birth on a Monday then he wouldn't have to go into work for the entire week. Another tick for Thumper.
• We were able to arrange for BallFiend to be collected by GrandPaul at lunchtime. I had thought we might have to disappear in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. So a lunchtime departure was perfect - we could explain what was happening and BallFiend could have his afternoon nap at Gran and GrandPaul's house.
• DesignerSis (who works just down the road from my house) could come over during her lunch break and help look after BallFiend while DeepSpice packed the car ready to go to hospital. She also helped time my contractions.

My labour picked up pace around 1.00 pm, contractions around 7 - 5 minutes apart, so...

• we were ready to leave for the hospital at 3.00 pm, thus avoiding peak hour traffic, and
• VolubleK was able to make school pick-up arrangements for her kids and also get to the hospital before peak hour traffic hit.

We arrived at the hospital at 3.40 pm, which meant:

• DeepSpice and VolubleK were easily able to get a space in the car park because the morning shift staff had just finished for the day, and
• it wasn't too late for the hospital staff to place an order for dinner for me.
  

Thumper was born at 4.49 pm. Perfect timing for:

• VolubleK to get home to her family in time for dinner, and
  
• us to have a few visitors later that evening, around 8.00 pm - specifically CutLuce, DesignerMonkey, DesignerSis and Wigward, who had been able to go home after work and have dinner before visiting us.
  

She is also considerate with her feeding and sleeping patterns:

• For her first night 'on the outside', Thumper slept for about 4 or 5 hours, so DeepSpice and I got a decent rest.
• She has continued to do big sleeps almost every night - anywhere from 5 to 9 hours! (But usually about 7 hours, from midnight until 7.00 am).
• Her sleeps tend to coincide with BallFiend's afternoon naps, so we get to have a lie-down as well.
• Her sleeps also tend to coincide with meal times, so we usually get to sit down and eat with BallFiend, or enjoy a meal on our own after we have put BallFiend to bed.
• She is almost always asleep when we are getting BallFiend ready for bed, so he still gets both our full attention during the evening 'wind-down' period.

Other examples of how considerate she is:

• I was about to change her nappy and she did a poo, before I had taken her nappy off. (BallFiend used to wait till the nappy was off and then it would go everywhere!)
• She rarely cries - mostly just if she has tummy pain from wind, which is fair enough!
• She is easy to settle, usually falling asleep on her own in her bassinette.

What a wonder! What a star!
--

Our little mathematician...

BallFiend was examining the construction of his big-earth-beach-ball. He carefully counted the number of seams on the ball and worked out there were six side panels capped by the two circular panels.

"Daddy [DeepSpice], why did they put a circle piece on a hexagon hole?"

He had worked out that where the six panels meet at each end of the ball, they must form a hexagonal hole. Pretty impressive for a three year old!
--

Pop! Hello Thumper!

I'm not pregnant anymore!

Thumper came into the world at 4.49 pm on Monday, 7 September 2009. Weighing in at 3.23 kg and 52 cm in length.
She arrived in a rush, only an hour after I arrived at the family birth centre! (and 12 hours after my labour began at 5.00 am)

We had a nice, straightforward labour and birth... no drugs. Wouldn't have had time anyway! (I even caught the midwives out... they didn't believe I was as far into the labour as I was!)

Extra special thanks to DeepSpice and VolubleK for their support during the labour.
--

Pregnancy update: 40+1

Now that I am officially 'overdue' (by all of one day!), the frequency of 'how much longer till Thumper arrives' speculation has increased exponentially! (Including DesignerSis and CutLuce announcing their ponderings on Facebook.)

StompyDad, on the other hand, seems to have no capacity to keep the due date in mind. He has been asking me for months if Thumper is going to come soon, and every time when I answer "not due for another x months/weeks", he seems surprised. Anyway, today he tells me he is heading up to the mountains for more skiing on Tuesday and will be gone for the rest of the week. Then he was surprised when I mentioned that Thumper will most likely arrive while he is away! "Oh, well I might come back early if Thumper is born during the week then... maybe on Friday."

Gran and GrandPaul are much more date-aware, but are not quite bursting over with enthusiasm for the impending grandchild... at least not as much as they were when I was pregnant with BallFiend. I think they think we are a bit insane for having a second child, when they stopped (at what, in their opinion, is sensible!) at one. Plus, for GrandPaul, birthdays at this time of year interfere with the footy finals.

At the complete other end of the spectrum, CutLuce, DesignerSis and of course VolubleK are incredibly excited and hanging out to meet Thumper! Oh, and BallFiend too seems to be increasingly excited about his baby coming out soon.

Measurements at 40 weeks pregnant:

• Waist: 121 cm
  
• Hips: 112 cm
  
• Weight gain: 12.5 kg
  

Current aches and pains:

• Pelvic instability - still present but not so bad. Main issue is pain in pubis symphosis joint
  
• Deep muscle soreness in my right gluteal muscle and sore sacroiliac joint.
• Very occasional sciatica - very mild (compared to my pregnancy with BallFiend)
  
• movements by Thumper - especially when pushing upwards against the top of my uterus.
  
• Sore skin above my belly button where it is stretched to bursting point.
  
• More strong 'pre-labour' symptoms: cramps (that feel like period pains), low back ache, nausea and braxton hicks contractions... on and off every few days now. Last week, I even had about an hour and a half of contractions that were 5 minutes apart... thought it might be the real deal for a while there.
• Moving my huge carcass anywhere, and especially rolling over in bed! I have no abdominal strength so turning over, sitting up from a lying position, getting in and out of the car, etc. are just about impossible!
  

How to dislodge the lodger? (or 'my superstitious practices for stalling and then inducing labour')

With the due date officially past, I no longer need to keep my legs so tightly crossed. All the worry of a premature birth a few weeks ago seems ridiculous now! Now it is time to turn my mind to enticing Thumper out naturally, rather than focussing on keeping Thumper in. (Especially before hospital protocols kick in and they start on about a 'medical induction'. Ho hum.)

However, I am sure that my state of mind has a lot to do with it. I realised some time ago that 9 September would be a cool birth-date (09/09/2009!) and being only a few days past my official due date, I thought it might be a possibility. As each day passes, I have become more and more 'decided' on this date. To the point where I have now written it on the wall calendar, in my diary, and have added to my 'to do' list "Give birth to our baby!" for tasks due on 9 September. Of course I am going to be really annoyed if Thumper leaves it any longer than this. I will have put up with the discomforts of late pregnancy for nuttin'! (I don't really mean 'for nothing', but we would rather not end up with September 11th as Thumper's birthday.)

I have also been doing some other things to stall labour... including letting some silly superstitions take hold:

• Avoided baking cakes. To entice BallFiend out when he was nine days overdue, I made a very yummy, rich chocolate cake (using Donna Hay recipe) and told everyone it was 'the baby's birthday cake, so the baby will have to be born now'. My hind-waters broke 10 hours later. I now feel confident to get back to baking again. Yum!
  
• Avoided using a particular set of flannelette sheets throughout Winter because they were the sheets we had on our bed when my hind-waters broke at the outset of BallFiend's labour. I am now planning to put these sheets on the bed on 8th September. (Aw, c'mon, they've been washed!)
  
• When practicing our hypnosis script from the hypnobirthing classes, DeepSpice has been including a message that "Thumper will not arrive prematurely".
  

And now, I am doing some things to actively encourage labour...

• Reading as many books as I can manage, because if Thumper arrives, I know I won't get to finish what I start! So every few days, when I start on a new novel and wonder if I am going to get to read the end. Even went to the Library today and borrowed a whole lot more books, knowing that I will most likely be returning them in three weeks time, unread.
  
• Finishing off those last few things on my 'to do before Thumper is born' list, including finishing off my tax return!
  

And of course, simply telling everyone and writing down on calendars and diaries that I will be busy having a baby on Wednesday!
--

Fathers' Day

I had thought Thumper might arrive today for Fathers' Day. But no (or at least, not so far), DeepSpice got to have a somewhat more relaxed Fathers' Day than we might otherwise have had... though no sleep-in: BallFiend was up and about by 7.00 am and because I wasn't, DeepSpice had to get up and do all the parenting solo. Pretty much just like every other day for the past month or so, as the late stage of pregnancy takes its toll on my energy levels.

Poor DeepSpice even had to locate his own Fathers' Day present from BallFiend (which I hadn't gotten around to unpacking from BallFiend's bag after crèche on Friday): a drawing by BallFiend together with a photo of BallFiend, laminated with a fridge magnet stuck on the back. (The carers at crèche are always really good at getting the kids to make presents for us mums and dads for special occasions - Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day, Xmas, etc.) I had also got a present for DeepSpice from BallFiend and me, but hadn't gotten around to wrapping it up. So DeepSpice didn't even get to unwrap that one! Then DeepSpice got his third 'present' of the morning... a pooey nappy courtesy of BallFiend. Followed about half an hour lated by a second pooey nappy! Argh!

After getting BallFiend his (four!) weetbix for breakfast, DeepSpice then had to make his own special Fathers' Day breakfast - he decided to fix himself up with a traditional fry-up: eggs, bacon, toast, fried tomatoes, mushrooms and toast. He also brought me a cup of tea in bed!

The rest of the day was more of the same... I lay around in bed or on the couch with no energy and DeepSpice played with BallFiend, organised lunch for us all and brought in the washing. At about 12.30 pm, I dragged myself to the shower and then we all went out to the local library. Both BallFiend and I needed some new stories to read and we needed to get BallFiend out of the house for a while as well.

Once home again, BallFiend was finally convinced to have 'a rest' in his cot, which turned out to be a 2.5 hour sleep. We woke him at 5.30 pm for dinner (this is not at all unusual for BallFiend - once he is asleep for his nap, he really knows how to nap!). DeepSpice made dinner while I pottered around and took a phone call from VolubleK. Then BallFiend set the table with placemats, knives and forks (with only a tiny bit of help from me... I am always impressed at how well he does this job).

Dinner over, DeepSpice played with BallFiend some more (playing catch and doing 'headers' with the beach ball in our long, long hallway), then got BallFiend ready for bed. We all read some new library books together and then DeepSpice carried BallFiend off to bed (as he does almost every night).

Phew! Hopefully in future years, DeepSpice will get a more traditional Fathers' Day, where he is the one treated to a morning of breakfast in bed, a nice lunch out at a restaurant or something, and no pooey nappies to change!
--

What a charmer!

BallFiend (to CutLuce):

That's a lovely dress. Where did you get it?

Truely! In the midst of playing with the marble run, he looked up at CutLuce and that is what he said... right out of the blue. Bizarre - such an adult comment from a 3 year old! All present (CutLuce, DesignerSis, DeepSpice and me) gaped at him for a moment, before CutLuce was able to respond. (She got the dress at I Want A Bargain.)

She reckons BallFiend must have been watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. But I can say with absolute certainty that he has never laid eyes on Carson Kressley!
--

Incentivisation

Here's how to motivate me to do my 2009 tax return... and especially to get it done before Thumper is born:

Chocolate-coated strawberries by DeepSpice.

Yum!
--

Thumper is toying with me

Getting lots of so-called 'pre-labour' these days... not surprising given I am 2 days away from official due date. (Even as I write this post now, I am getting BH on and off all the time!)

Mostly it has been just painless braxton hicks (BH) contractions, but last night I woke at 1.00 am with a really strong BH that lasted for ages (probably half an hour) accompanied by low-level cramping across the lower part of my abdomen. Eventually I went back to sleep, only to wake at 3.00 am with even more BH and cramping. These cramps were really strong and I had a vague sense of them increasing in intensity periodically, so I started timing how far apart: around 5 minutes!

My first thought was "this is it! I have woken up in proper labour!" But I wasn't sure, so I kept monitoring over the next 45 minutes or so and made DeepSpice rub my lower back (which was also a bit achy). I needed to wee about 4 times during that 45 minutes! (Apparently another sign of labour.)

By 4.00 am, I was deliberating about whether it was time to ring the Family Birth Centre (FBC) at the hospital and call in the troops (ie. my birth support people - VolubleK and MidwifeS, and CutLuce to mind BallFiend). DeepSpice was completely (though understandably) hopeless - he was too-half asleep to keep rubbing my back, let alone help me to reach a decision. But in the midst of my indecisiveness, I got really tired and just fell asleep again. Woke briefly at 6.22 am (I looked at the clock!) when I heard BallFiend call out once (probably just talking in his sleep) then went straight back to sleep again.

Both DeepSpice and I woke at about 7.30 am, again due to BallFiend calling out, but this time persistently enough to wake us properly. I felt pretty bloody awful, but mainly from lack of sleep. The regular contractions had gone, leaving in their wake a continuous low-level of crampiness. So I realised that the 3.00 am event was yet more pre-labour. Sigh.

At 8.30 am, I rang the FBC and discussed my labour-like signs with a midwife. She said "it sounds like things are 'stewing' and you will probably go into labour soon... in the next few days". I was able to reschedule my appointment (which was originally for tomorrow, Sept. 4th) to later that afternoon so I could go in and get checked out... mainly for my own peace of mind. I made DeepSpice take Carer's Leave so he could look after BallFiend in the morning and drive me to the appointment. (He had been planning to take leave on Friday anyway, so taking it a day early was not really a problem.)

This worked out quite well as we were able to take BallFiend with us to see the 'host-a-bul' where Thumper will be born, and let him watch the midwife do the routine checks (blood pressure, measure my belly size and listen to Thumper's heartbeat). Not that he was particularly intrigued. Mainly he just liked the toys there - in particular a toy truck which had balls enclosed in it.

Other highlights of the trip to FBC today:

• The drive to the hospital only took about 20 minutes (despite getting stuck behind an annoying truck for half the journey).
• We got a 1 hour parking spot straight away! And it was free! And it was within the actual hospital grounds! There is a tiny little carpark area just near the Emergency drop off point with about 10 spaces, and we got the last one! Must be a miracle.

Anyway, the midwife said that Thumper is still head down and in a good position (ie. not posterior thankfully!) although the head is not 'engaged' (which means it is still 'floating' over my pelvis) but that this is normal for a second baby... apparently they often don't engage until during labour. My blood pressure is normal, baby is measuring average size for gestation and heartbeat is fine.

So, now I return to the Twillight Zone and continue to wait, wait, wait...
--

Twillight Zone

With a few days to go (officially three), I feel I am in a weird sort of limbo... Thumper could arrive any day and anytime now. Literally. Especially since allegedly second and subsequent babies tend to be born more quickly (ie. after a labour of only a few hours).

My official birth plan, which is on file at the hospital, is 3 pages long, complete with instructions about how I would prefer things to happen (eg. not whisking Thumper away for weighing and bathing straight after the birth). Most of it is contingency plans in case I am transferred out of the Family Birth Centre. I feel quite confident that if all goes well and I birth in the FBC with midwifery-led care, I won't really need a birth plan at all. But if I end up in the birthing suites under medical care, it is much more important to spell things out in the birth plan. This is the important lesson I learned from my birth experience with BallFiend.

However, my unofficial birth plan is:

• go into labour when DeepSpice is home with me... probably sometime in the evening or overnight is preferable;
  
• have a labour of around 5 hours (enough time for natural endorphins to kick in, but not so long that I am too worn out);
• give birth on 9th September, 2009, preferably at either 9.00 am or 9.00 pm (so Thumper's birthdate is 09.09.2009!)
• have a pain-free labour and an intact perineum at the end... oh, and a healthy baby, of course!
  

It is weird to think that in just a few hours from now, I could have a baby in my arms, and yet at this moment, I have no indication that labour is imminent.

So as each day goes by, I feel like I am going deeper and deeper into a twillight zone, where my life is both on hold (and waiting for Thumper to throw our world into chaos for a few weeks... months... years!) and yet I am getting on with my normal day to day activities (as best I can when I feel like I have a lead bowling ball lodged between my legs).
--