Nipples, part 1

Why do babies have nipples?

-- BallFiend, whilst watching me dress Thumper.

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Snail-girl

"Look Mum! Thumper's a snail!"

- BallFiend

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Have a ball at the Zoo

Went to the Zoo today with several other playgroup mums (ArizonaGal, The Bibliophile, The Seamstress, The Librarian and HM) and between us our eleven!!! offspring (BallFiend, Thumper, LittleMissL, MasterS, MasterW, LittleMissIz, MasterF, LittleMissF, MasterL, MasterM and MasterT).

The main purpose of the visit was to see Mali, the baby elephant, but also to have a change from 'the usual' (a local playground). The plan was to meet at the Elephant Barn at 10.30 am and see Mali when she was brought out at 11.00 am.

I was aiming to get to the Zoo by 9.30 am and see a few things beforehand. However, despite rushing around the house since about 8.00 am, we only just managed to make the 9.59 am train. On our way to the elephant area, we stopped off to see a few animals - the platypus, the meer cats and the tiger. Then, whilst walking along the Elephant Trail, just as we were passing the tiger enclosure, we met up with The Seamstress and her boys MasterL and MasterM.

We continued on together, past some very inquisitive pelicans, and arrived at the Elephant Barn right on 10.30 am, to find ourselves at the end of a very long queue. In the queue ahead of us were Jovial Jo with MasterW and LittleMissIz and even closer to the front of the queue ArizonaGal with LittleMissL and MasterS.

We waited half an hour in order to (eventually!) see Mali for 5 minutes along with 150 other people, before we were moved on so the next 150 people could come and do the same.

Mali, the 6-week old baby elephant, out for a stroll.

Might as well have watched a video really. But I do understand why the Zoo has such limited viewing times... Mali is only 6 weeks old after all! I did the same with my 6 week old babies - tried to protect them from too much excitement and ensure they got the rest they needed. But it was a long time to wait - especially for a bunch of three year olds. I was very impressed with how patient BallFiend was.

After Mali, we went on to see lots more: Orangutans, Seals and Little Penguins with the other playgroup friends. Then we all stopped at the cafe for lunch. After lunch, most of the others went home but The Seamstress and I (with our kids) continued on to see the Gorillas, Monkeys and other primates, a crocodile (of sorts), Lions, and Giant Tortoises.

BallFiend and MasterL

And then there was one - just me with BallFiend and Thumper (as The Seamstress needed to take MasterM home for a nap). We decided to stay and see some more, starting with the Reptiles and Frogs. After a stop-off for a hard-earned icypole, we went on to see the Bears, Big Cats, Turtles, Lemurs and finally the Giraffe and Zebras. By this point I was exhausted so we headed for the train station.

So, with all these exciting things to see - I'm sure you are wondering what was the highlight of the day for BallFiend? Was it the Lions (he is a Leo), was it the Bears (nearly - they had a ball toy in their enclosure and he couldn't understand why they weren't constantly playing with it), or was it the Giant Tortoises, which were 'this big'.

BallFiend explaining
just how big the Giant Tortoises are.

No, of course not... on our way to the exit, along the Main drive, BallFiend found a ball, surprise, surprise. A small, black one about the size of a walnut. "Can I keep it Mama?" he asked. (He calls me 'mama' whenever he is around MasterL or LittleMissZ who both call their mothers 'mama'. He also calls me 'mama' whenever he wants to suck up to me.) He was ecstatic when I said that he could. (It crossed my mind that we could hand it in to Lost Property, but I didn't think a little plastic made-in-China type trinket would be something any sensible parent was going to bring the child back to the Zoo to find and I was too tired to be bothered anyway).

BallFiend's highlight from his day

at the Zoo - a small, black, plastic ball.

When we got home, BallFiend accidentally dropped the new ball on the floorboards and it was then we discovered this was no ordinary ball - it pops open to reveal a little man inside!

The ball pops open to reveal... a man!
BallFiend's excitement at finding the ball
was nothing compared to this discovery!

So when DeepSpice got home and I encouraged BallFiend to tell him about our day, there was not a mention of the Zoo, just a show-and-tell about the new ball.

Sigh.

--

The Hexagon Hole

BallFiend: "Daddy, why did they put a circle piece on a hexagon hole?"

BallFiend had carefully counted the number of seams on his big-Earth-beach-ball and worked out there are six side panels capped by the two circular panels.
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Portrait of a scary-looking grandmother

Yesterday, BallFiend had his final ever appointment with the Maternal & Child Health Nurse for his three-and-a-half year old assessment. Gran came along to help with the kid-wrangling.

The nurse measured and weighed him to check he has been growing (turns out he has, surprise surprise). Then did a vision screening test (he failed the test when checking his right eye, so now he needs to be assessed by an optometrist). Then a couple of other tests to check his development, including the draw-a-person test. Suffice to say, he blitzed it!

The nurse showed him what to do by doing her own drawing of a face (circle for a head, two eyes, mouth and nose):

The nurse's original picture for BallFiend to copy (orange crayon).
The green ears, arms, hands, legs, and feet were
added by BallFiend after he finished his own picture (below).

Then she asked him to draw a face too (actually, she asked him to 'draw Gran'). Well, not only did he draw the head, eyes, mouth, nose, arms and legs (which is what most 3.5 year olds will do), he went on to add ears, hair, teeth, eyebrows, feet, hands (which is something that kids don't usually do until 5 or 6 years of age).

A portrait of a rather scary-looking Gran with very pointy teeth!

After the test, he kept drawing, which is when he
coloured in the left eye and added the 'cheek' mark.

I was so surprised! He rarely shows interest in drawing, painting or other such arty things at home and when he does draw it is usually lots of scribbles; he sometimes draws when at childcare, but again it is always lots of scribbles. So watching him draw a face was amazing. Apparently because he added so much extra detail, it means he is very intelligent. But of course, I already knew that! Afterall, what parent doesn't know their child is a genius from the moment they are born!!

BallFiend then went with Gran to spend the day at his grandparents house. This is our new childcare arrangement: instead of him going to the childcare centre two days a week, he will now just go for one day a week there, and one day with his grandparents. They get a kid to play with, we get to save $80 a day on childcare fees.

A post-script: this afternoon, BallFiend did a few more drawings of people (said he was drawing Gran again) and this time he included a neck, fingers and toes. Actually one of the Gran pictures had two necks! Then he did a picture of himself, spewing. Presumably this is because, we had dinner with Gran and GrandPaul yesterday and on the drive home, BallFiend did a massive boke all over the backseat of our (new!) car. Poor him, poor us. Lucky for me DeepSpice did the clean up. Lucky for DeepSpice, this little former Girl Guide lived up to the 'be prepared' motto, by having plenty of wash cloths and a bottle of water on-hand in the car.

Still not sure what caused the vomiting. Dinner was Salmon Risotto, followed by a cheese course (Brie), and then homemade vanilla ice-cream! BallFiend loved the Brie and GrandPaul kept giving him more and more, despite DeepSpice and my protestations. So I reckon it was either a mild allergic reaction to something he ate (because there was also a rash on his skin), or (more likely) too much fat from the Brie.

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No shortcuts

At BallFiend's kindergarten, one of the fathers, who brings his son in each week, literally dumps his son and rushes off. He spends no more than 30 seconds inside the kindergarten, which is as long as it takes him to prise his clinging child out of his arms, and then he races out the door. If the child's back is turned or his face buried in his hands crying (which is usually the case), the father doesn't even say goodbye but sees this as an opportunity to sneak out. The poor boy sobs for the first half of the session and is withdrawn, and sometimes even destructive, for the rest of it. It breaks my heart to see this twice a week. DeepSpice took BallFiend to kinder this morning and after seeing this poor, distressed boy, felt the same way as me.

Before having my own children I was very judgmental of parents, but since having my own, I have come to realise that there are many reasons why parents do what they do. It is all to easy to judge someone on their behaviour at a point in time, without knowing the history that has led up to that point.

For example, I see plenty of parents yelling at their kids and telling them 'no'. (Rather than being the model parent that is described in all the parenting books: the parent who never raises their voice and instead of telling the child 'no', instructs the child on what they should do.) I have learned not to judge these parents (especially since I am one of them!). Usually I can see that they are tired and frazzled, and it is obvious that they do not always speak to their children in this way. Almost all parents of young children are tired (extremely tired!) all the time and tiredness can break the most noble person.

However, in this instance at the kindergarten, the behaviour never changes. I don't know why this father is in such a rush to get away from his son. But whatever it is, I can't understand how it can be so important that he cannot spend a few minutes spent helping his son settle in, followed by a tender cuddle goodbye.

There are no shortcuts in parenting. Children need to feel loved and cared for so that they grow up to be confident, caring adults. It is especially important for children aged up to three years to feel safe and loved - and from what I have read, this is especially so for boys. Children who grow up feeling unloved, unwanted and unsafe are the ones most likely to become thugs and bullies. A few minutes spent helping a three-year-old to feel confident now will prevent months and years spent disciplining a difficult teenager in the future.

The question for me now is whether it is appropriate to intervene - to speak to this father or perhaps the kindergarten teachers?

--

More BallFiend words of wisdom

Round the batteries, all about

Does he flick his medicine out the door?

Noooooooo!

- BallFiend, chatting away to no one in particular.

We have no idea what he was on about either... perhaps it's a haiku gone awry?

--

The war on widdles

About 6 weeks ago, I started 'active' toilet training with BallFiend. I had hoped that by waiting until he was older, he would get the hang of it straight away and so would magically just switch from nappies to undies in a few days (coz that's what all the experienced mums-of-three-or-more-children told me would happen if I waited until he was older).

Overall, I would say that this has been mostly true. The first two weeks of toilet training went very smoothly. BallFiend was highly motivated and rarely had any misses. However the shine wore off and by week three there were frequent wees on the floor and poos in the pants. This is not my idea of fun. Any parenting books that encourage you to "embrace this new stage in your child's journey to independence' are full of shit. There is nothing fun about toilet training, the only thing that makes it worthwhile is knowing (hoping) that eventually your child will stop using their underpants as pseudo-cloth nappies!

Still there's no going back, so we pushed on and six weeks down the track, things are gradually improving. We still have one or two accidents every two days - mostly when BallFiend is tired at the end of the day, or if he is deeply involved in play and doesn't notice that he needs to go. However, it is now obvious that BallFiend considers himself to be permanently in undies and has no desire to wear nappies again (for a few weeks he frequently asked to wear nappies again).

So, thought this would be a good time to record some of my tactics - so I remember them for use with Thumper when her time comes.

Toilet Training Tactics

In addition to the usual stuff that most people seem to do (frequent reminders to go to the toilet; always go to the toilet after a meal; allowing lots of time for running about naked; potty near where the kid is playing, etc.), I have developed a few toilet training tactics of my own:

1. Cleaning-up after a miss

A flat cloth nappy (preferrably terry toweling rather than flannelette) is the perfect tool for cleaning up a 'miss'. Spread the nappy on the floor and have your darling stand on it whilst you pull down their pants. Any poo that falls out lands on the nappy, not the floor. Any wee that has trickled down onto your darling's feet is mopped up. And simultaneously, the nappy mops up the wee puddle on the floor. Dump the wet/soiled clothing in the middle of the nappy, bundle the whole lot up and take it to the laundry (or stick it in a plastic bag until you get home if you are out).

2. Reward charts

Sticker charts work, but only for a week or so. Then they get boring (and not just for the kid - for the parents as well). So I invented a game:

My version is beach-themed, due to BallFiend's current obsessions with beach balls and swim rings. The beach ball has to start at the house and travel, stop-by-stop, down the road to the beach. Each time BallFiend successfully uses the toilet, the beach ball (or swim ring) moves down the road to the next stop. I laminated the game board and several beach ball and swim rings as game tokens. When the beach ball reaches the beach, a prize is awarded (although not every time, just when additional motivation is required).

3. The going-out kit

When going out I carry "the Kit" which consists of:

• 2 or 3 pairs of underpants;
• 2 or 3 pairs of socks;
• three old wash cloths;
• a terry toweling square nappy;
• several plastic bags;
• 2 or 3 pairs of pants;
• BallFiend's drink bottle which doubles as a water supply for wetting the wash cloths;
• a bottle of hand-sanitizing gel in case I am not near soap and water (I used to carry around in his nappy bag, pre-toilet training too).

So far I have never used more than one change of clothes when out, but I always carry plenty, just in case.

4. Undies or a cloth nappy - let the child choose

When BallFiend was going through the 'want to wear nappies again' stage, I offered him the choice of undies or a fitted terry cloth nappy. As is unsurprising for a child who always wore disposable nappies, he didn't like it and so always opted for undies. I think that having a sibling who is also wearing cloth nappies helped too, since BallFiend wanted to be a big kid and so didn't want to wear nappies like his baby sister's.

That's about it for now... will add more ideas if I come up with anything else that seems to work well.

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Valentine's Day weekend

I don't usually care about (or for) Valentine's Day. Just more marketing hype really. But since DeepSpice dudded me out of $150 when negotiating the sale of the Camry, I strongly hinted to him that Valentine's Day might be a good time to make things up to me... and he did try. Starting with a hazelnut chocolate cupcake brought home from the market last Friday.

Then Saturday night was an enjoyable dinner party at Gran and GrandPaul's house, topped off with BallFiend staying the night so that (in theory) we could sleep in on Sunday. (Of course, Thumper had other ideas, waking at 5 am for an early feed.)

On Sunday morning, we raced off at 10.00 am to see the 11.45 am screening of Avatar 3D at Victoria Gardens (I chose this cinema because they have a 'crying' room - a soundproof room where parents with screaming kids can still watch the movie without annoying everyone else). We only just got to the cinema before the scheduled start time because DeepSpice decided to make us a cooked breakfast 45 minutes before we needed to leave. (I should have stopped him, but who can turn down bacon and eggs!) And also because, even on a Sunday morning, there was no bloody parking at the shopping centre.

Anyway, after the rush to get there, they didn't start the movie until 30 minutes after it's advertised time anyway. Humph! Thumper was an absolute angel throughout. She sat quietly in my arms watching the movie for some of the time, breastfeed and slept the rest through the rest of it. Although I had to keep my hands over her little ears a lot of the time because the sound was deafening!

The day was not-so-romantically concluded by a stop-off at Ikea for some shelving that we desperately need for the kids' bedroom. We arrived home exhausted but no rest for the wicked... Gran and GrandPaul arrived about half an hour later to drop BallFiend back and to deliver some extra goldfish for our pond (as they are about to landscape their garden and are getting rid of the fishpond.)

PS. Happy Chinese New Year - the Year of the Tiger. Takes one to know one...

--

Bye bye bomb

Just sold my old car...

it's been replaced with something newer and more shiny:

Despite my feelings for the old car, the leak into the cabin when it rained was getting ridiculous. I found seedlings germinating in the carpet! And driving in Melbourne 40+ degree heat waves was scary when it came down to a choice between running the air conditioning or having no acceleration. Not a good choice when there are two little kids in the car. To spend money getting it fixed seemed silly when they would cost so much more than the car was worth. (I rang a few car wreckers who offered between $100 and $250 for it.) So we splashed out and got a new (and by that I mean 8 years old) car.

Of course I had delegated the job of 'eventually' replacing our car to DeepSpice... about a year ago! He was supposed to research options, test drive a few and come back to me with a short list. From there we would finalise which make and model, then he was to shop around until finding the right car at the right price. Although there was no rush to do so, I did want a new car before the old one died. However, it became apparent that if I was to wait for DeepSpice to organise it, I would be waiting another 20 years and walking everywhere in the meantime. So I did some intensive research and within a couple of weeks had found the right car. We did one test drive then bought it the next day.

My next task was to sell the old Camry. An ad on Gumtree did the trick - I had three enquiries within hours and someone making an offer the next day (although he was then given a car by a friend so didn't end up buying my car). I received another enquiry the following day and after a test drive, the interested buyer paid a deposit. The sale was completed today, only five days after first advertising it.

Unfortunately I didn't get as much money for it as I could have... Although there was 2 months registration remaining, I advertised the car as for sale unregistered because I wasn't sure if anyone would buy it, so didn't think it was worth paying for a roadworthy certificate (RWC) which is required if you want to sell a car with registration. Of course, the buyer wanted to buy it with registration and we came to an agreement that they would organise the RWC and they agreed to sign a contract absolving me of any liability if any damages happened in the 14 day period until the transfer of registration was being finalised.

At the crucial moment when the buyer was haggling over the price, I was busy breastfeeding Thumper so DeepSpice was left to do the negotiations. I gave DeepSpice instructions not to negotiate on price if they wanted to buy the car with registration but that he could accept a lower offer if they wanted to buy it unregistered. However, somewhere along the way DeepSpice got stressed and confused and ended up agreeing to sell the car with registration but at the price I was only wanting to accept if it was unregistered. Bah!! Goodbye $150.

At least the buyer should be happy, and it is good that the car is going to get some further use, rather than being turned into scrap metal. But it's going to take me a while to forgive DeepSpice for this one.

--

Mystery of lost socks solved!

BallFiend arrived home from creche today wearing only one sock. Apparently, when DeepSpice collected him, BallFiend led DeepSpice into the toilet/washroom area and pointed to one of the toilets.

"MasterW flushed my one white sock down there!"

So, now you know were all those lost socks go.

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Blog-iversary!

I've been posting regularly to this blog for one whole year! Originally inspired by a need to record some details about my second pregnancy, it has turned out to be a useful tool for capturing all those funny moments in life that don't really have anywhere else to go. Admittedly, BallFiend has dominated, presumably because, being a little kid, he says the funniest things which make good blogging fodder.

Unfortunately Thumper has been quite under-represented. She does a lot of amazing things, as she grows before my eyes. But I just don't get the time I need to write everything down. I hereby resolve to do better. Starting now.

Thumper had her first experience with food (of the non-breast milk variety) today... we let her play with a stick of steamed carrot while everyone else ate their dinner. She licked it, chewed a tiny chunk off it, dropped it and caught it on her foot. What a clever bub! And don't fret, she didn't choke. I am attempting the baby-led weaning method with her. Tried it with BallFiend too, but he insisted on being spoon-fed mush, much to my annoyance. (Actually he still likes being spoonfed now, at three and a half!)

She is also an increasingly messy eater, even though the only thing she eats is breast milk. When she feeds, milk pours out of her nose (actually same thing used to happen with BallFiend, but not such a big volume), very conveniently clearing her sinuses at the same time. Convenient yes, tasteful no. And she hates it when I wipe her nose, screams the house down!

This is Thumper immediately after a breast-feed.
It's a little hard to see in this picture,
but she has a layer of milky snot,
extending from her nose to her chin.

She also suffers from reflux, has done since birth (we had diagnosed it by the time she was 3 weeks old). She 'possets' (ie. spews up) milk all day long. So I am never seen without that must-have fashion item, the 'spitty nappy' draped over my shoulder. She is still taking her daily dose of Losec to help with the pain caused by the stomach acid when she refluxes. Apparently she will grow out of it sooner or later. Some babies do so by 6 months and a few still have severe reflux at 12 months. I hope she grows an oesophogeal sphincter soon, as her medicine is not cheap - $40.00 a bottle, which lasts about 3 - 4 weeks. But I'm not holding my breath. BallFiend was a spewy baby too, but he was a 'happy chucker' - never screamed with pain like Thumper does - and I can remember him still occasionally spewing up milk when he was 12 months old.

Thumper had been enjoying some 'tummy time',

then she spewed, then she laid her face in it.

Ah well, good preparation for all those

teenage binge drinking session we have to look forward to.

Apart from the milk spewing and spraying, Thumper is a wonderful baby - very placid, easy going. Put her in her cot, she goes to sleep. Pick her up, she smiles. When she's hungry, she fusses about to let me know, but she will wait for ages before cries for a feed (not that I make a habit of making her wait, but sometimes BallFiend's demands take precedence over Thumper getting her feed).

Thumper is five months old in a few days, and she is growing up way too quickly. I am doing my best to make the most of having a baby, my last baby, while I have the chance. At the same time, I am really looking forward to watching her develop new skills and seeing her personality develop.

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New wheels

Despite my previous post about how much I love my old bomb, the time has come to get a new car. here's why:

• The rusting body is allowing more and more water into the car every time it rains (not that it rains that much in Melbourne anymore) and the floor under front passenger seat becomes a little swimming pool. When I looked at it the other day, I saw little seedlings growing in the carpet!!
• As we now have two precious, little darlings, it would probably be sensible to get a car that has a higher safety rating.
• Last time we went on a holiday (pre-Thumper's arrival), the three of us barely fit all our crap in the back of the Camry, so a car with space for a family of four would be great. Also the Camry has almost no storage compartments for the passengers and driver, and the radio/stereo doesn't really work anymore, which is a nuisance on long trips.
• The current market value of our car is probably $100 or $200, if that, so every time we have to buy a replacement part, service it, insure it and register it, we are spending far more than the market value.
• The air conditioning draws so much power from the engine that the car can barely accelerate if it is running. No fun on Melbourne's 35+ degree days.

Anyway, DeepSpice and I had been talking about getting a new car for many months now. In fact, I had delegate the task of deciding exactly what model of car we should get to DeepSpice. He was supposed to do the research, pick a car and then we could shop around at our leisure until we found the right one. Well, after 6 or more months of waiting, I finally took matters into my own hands.

I did a bit of web searching on the major car sale type sites and spent the past couple of weeks in intensive discussion with DeepSpice about the pros and cons of different options. I made a list of criteria:

• storage space and compartments (both in the boot and the cabin)
• safety
• transmission (has to be manual)
• body (has to be a station wagon)
• priced within our budget (which restricted us to looking at cars around 7 to 10 years old)
• maximum mileage (since we were getting a used car)
• purchase from a dealer (not private sale)
• and all the nice-to-have luxuries that our current car doesn't have (like a working radio, air conditioning, remote central locking,

Then we narrowed down to a short list:

• Toyota Camry
• Subaru Forester
• Subaru Liberty/Outback/Legacy (which are essentially all the same car body, with different bits tacked on)
• Ford Falcon XT
• Holden Commodore

(Mitsubishi Magna was briefly considered, but we both have a thing against Mitsubishi from the days of DeepSpice's old blue van, even though, apparently Mitsubishi produce much better quality cars these days.)

Anyway, this short list was soon narrowed down even further to Subaru Liberty/Outback/Legacy because it is the only car that was readily available in a manual transmission that also met our other criteria. And after only a few days of watching the prices of Subaru Liberty and Outback cars on the web, I soon realised that (a) there are hardly any around Melbourne (though quite a lot in NSW) and (b) the ones on the market in our price range have typically done at least 150,000 kms and often much more.

So when I saw a Subaru Outback that was $3,900 over our budget but had only done 124,000 kms, I figured it was worth a look. (By this time, I had realised that our budget wasn't going to buy anything that met our criteria and we had to either spend more or get an automatic.) We had a test drive on Monday (25 January) and put down a deposit on Tuesday! Never even looked at any other cars (other than online of course). Funny thing is that is exactly what we did with the Camry, and that has turned out OK.

We pay the balance and take delivery on Saturday. I still can't quite believe how quickly it has all happened after months and months on inaction from DeepSpice. I also can't believe that I can make such a quick decision about such a major purchase when I usually spend weeks doing intensive research before purchasing things that cost much less.

Strangely though, I feel very comfortable with the purchase. The car meets our criteria reasonably well, the price seems fair (even quite a good deal actually), the engine runs well, it has a solid service history and the dealer is including a 3 year warranty.

The only thing we couldn't manage was to meet BallFiend's criteria. He has specifically requested that we get a new car in his favourite colour: green. The new car is white. I told him that mum and dad are buying the car with our money so we get to choose the colour and that when he is older and buys a car with his money he can choose the colour. He seemed to be happy with that, but we will soon find out for sure on Saturday.

With the car buying out of the way, my next task has been to organise insurance. Now, that is a real pain in the neck. I have spent most of the past two days getting quotes and trying to make sense of fine print. Bloody boring, but necessary I suppose. Hopefully I can finalise it tomorrow, ready for picking up the car on Saturday.

Then it will be onto the next project - disposing of the dear old Camry. If I can't sell it as a private sale sadly, it will probably just go to a wrecker.

--

Sit on it and spin

Daddy, why is there a spinning thing in your bottom?

-- BallFiend displaying his own special kind of logic during a conversation with DeepSpice. He knows that poo comes from eating food, and that somehow inside our bodies the food gets mixed up and turned into poo. He also knows that machines such as the food processor, blender and bread machine mix food up into a mushy consistency and that they typically have a part that spins around. From this, he concluded that something inside people's bottoms must spin around and make poo out of the food we eat. A strange, but somehow reasonable assumption.

--

The puddle puzzle

BallFiend: Oh, that’s a funny puddle!

Me: Do you think so? I think its just a ‘puddle’ puddle.

BallFiend: No! It’s not a puddle puddle! it’s just a puddle.

Me: Oh, OK. So it’s a not a ‘puddle’ puddle? Or a cuddle puddle?

BallFiend: No! Don’t say puddle puddle!

Me: OK, I will just say puddle.

BallFiend: But why is it a funny puddle?

-- BallFiend and my conversation whilst walking to the playgroup. BallFiend saw a puddle in the gutter with a piece of plastic rubbish in it.

--

Close your head in and Stuff your face up

I got annoyed with BallFiend's persistent whining the other day and in the midst of my exasperation, after asking him to speak in a nice voice for the 20th time, I suddenly heard myself saying "Pull your head in."

Argh! Disturbing that I was channeling my father (that is one of the phrases he said to me when I was growing up), but it was worth it just to hear BallFiend's interpretation later that night when DeepSpice got home:

"Dad, close your head in! Just close it!"

A few day prior to this, I had made a passing remark about how DeepSpice was 'stuffing his face' (whilst eating his lunch).

This one was later reinterpreted as "Dad, stuff your face up!", which had both DeepSpice and me in fits of laughter.

--

The three licks of xmas

About a week after Christmas, when we were packing up the tree, BallFiend asked to eat one of the candy canes that had been hung up as decoration, so I gave him one to try. He had a few tentative licks, pronounced that it was "Yuck!" and gave it back to me, then a few seconds later asked to have it again. He had a few more licks and decided that it was now "Yum!" but that he didn't want anymore. So I offered to save it for later.

The candy cane was carefully placed in a cup on the bench where it sat untouched for a few days. Then he asked to have some more. "Just a bite because we are having dinner soon." DeepSpice said. "Ummm, three licks I think." and ever since then, every few days BallFiend will ask to have 'three licks' of his candy cane.

At this rate, the damn thing is going to last till next xmas.
--

Artistic Licence

Took BallFiend and Thumper to the local library for their Storytime session: half an hour or so of stories, songs and craft activities for 3 to 5 year olds. I've always planned to take BallFiend to this, since he turned 3, but being heavily pregnant and then busy with newborn Thumper, today was the first time I actually got there.

I decided to go on the bus -- the stop is just across the road from my house and it's only a 5 minute ride to the library, plus for BallFiend the bus is an exciting adventure. We only had to wait TWENTY MINUTES for it each way! And because I just missed a bus home by a mere 5 minutes, had to buy a second 2-hour ticket. So I had to pay for all day travel for the privilege of traveling a total of 10 minutes. [No wonder people complain about the crappy PT around Melbourne].

Being Summer holidays, today's theme was the beach. "Who's been to the beach" asked the librarian leading the session. "ME!!" yelled BallFiend at the top of his lungs. He continued to answer every question in this manner - making loud and spurious claims about his prior experiences at the beach.

BallFiend enjoyed listening to the stories, interrupting frequently with his 'why?' questions. He got annoyed with the songs (classics such as Incy Wincy Spider, Hey Diddle Diddle Row Row Your Boat and Baa Baa Black Sheep); though Thumper loved them. And he really enjoyed doing the craft activity with me. We were challenged to make an under-sea collage using nothing more than the power of our imaginations... and some craft supplies (photocopied pictures of sea creatures, shiny paper, crepe paper, cellophane, sparkles, stickers, etc.). And I am so proud of our masterpiece, that I have decided to publish a picture of it here, for the world to see.

Yes, that is a dinosaur in the bottom left corner -
who knows why there is a dinosaur under the sea,
but BallFiend asked for one, so I duly cut one out.
Also true to form, BallFiend insisted on including
a beach ball (top left corner).

PS. BallFiend's toilet training is still going well and he demonstrated his skills by remembering to tell me when he needed to go to the toilet while we were at the library. I left Thumper in the care of the Storytime librarian and raced him off to the loo (which required negotiating a path through the kids and crafts all over the floor, exiting the library building and locating the toilets in the adjacent building). I was so proud of BallFiend for holding on all the way to the toilet (and very relieved!) -- I think I was more excited than he was.
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Poo Poo Bum Bum

"Poo poo bum bum" yells BallFiend as he scampers about the house. This has been the standard response to many a question for the past 6 months or so. For example, I say "Hello" and BallFiend replies "poo poo bum bum". I say "Do you want a drink" and BallFiend replies "poo poo bum bum".

He expanded is repertoire today, courtesy of a four year boy (who's company we had the pleasure of today at a meeting of my local ABA group): "You're a nose-head!" he (not so politely) informs the woman standing ahead of us at the library loans desk. Actually, I think he learned poo poo bum bum from the same boy about 6 months ago.

Little did I know when I was all pregnant and excited about having a cute, little, cuddly baby, all those (three and a bit) years ago, that three and a bit years later, all this talk about poos, bums and nose-heads was not just talk. Just when you think the worst is over, that the days of baby milk spews and explosive poos are behind you, along comes the three year old spit-snot-fart-poo machine.

These days, I am forever reeling an index finger out of a three and a bit year old's nose. (What a nose-head!) Then quickly trying to wipe said finger before it is smeared on my couch, my clothes or the person sitting next to us on the train. But as of this week, snot is the least of my worries. This is because now we are toilet training. Officially.

I mean, we've played around with the idea since BallFiend was less than 18 months old. I read somewhere that some toddlers will toilet train at 18 months, so when he was about 16 months old I rushed out and bought a potty, hopeful that my spawn would be one of these elite few early toilet trainees. We caught a couple of wees in it, and even a poo once, simply by strategically positioning the potty in the right place at the right time (just before a bath). I also borrowed potty-training books from the library, let BallFiend watch us on the loo, talked about wees and poos and bottoms. Watch and applauded when friends from playgroup demonstrated their toileting skills. Coveted fancy undies with the best TV friends money can buy emblazoned on them. On warm days, I'd strip him off to play naked in the garden. More recently we had done a few hours at a time here and there 'practicing' wearing undies (potty use on these occasions was fairly hit-and-miss). When asked if BallFiend was toilet training yet, I'd happily proclaim that yes we are laying the groundwork.

For a long time, I was quite happy to wait... I have spoken with several mums of at least two kids and consensus was that a child will not learn toileting skills until some physiological development happens... some switch in the brain just flicks over and connects it to the bladder. The theory is that if you 'train' a child before this, they will get it right some of the time, and will 'miss' some of the time. Essentially you will just be using undies as nappies (impractical, unabsorbent, pointless!) and with a bit of good luck, sometimes the potty will be used instead.

I was told that one day BallFiend will decide he dislikes nappies and will want to wear undies instead. Even better, if I wait for this moment, he will just know what to do and there will be few if any 'accidents'. According to Gran, DeepSpice did this. One day he said he didn't like nappies any more. So he was offered undies provided he used the potty. Being the amenable chap that he is, DeepSpice agreed and that was that.

In the past few weeks/months, it has become very apparent that the 'brain switch' has happened: BallFiend has been swimming at Gran and GrandPaul's house, and at VolubleK's house, and played in the paddling pool at MasterW's house and on each occasion, BallFiend knew to get out of the pool to wee. But he still just seemed to like wearing nappies. He had no problem wearing soiled nappies. Potty-training books were just another story to read, nothing special. Peer pressure didn't work - he didn't care that most of the kids in our playgroup and those in his room at creche were in undies now. He didn't care about undies with pictures of Thomas or Bob or whatever on them. Apart from saying poo poo bum bum a lot, he had no interest in discussing the matter or watching anyone else in the act.

Despite my intention to wait until he decided he wanted out of nappies, truth is, I am getting fed up with changing nappies on a three and a bit year old. Fed up with spending money on disposables, fed up with trying to get a wriggly boy to stay still long enough to change him, fed up with seeing him get nappy rash because he doesn't tell us when there's a poo and he wears it for ages. Added to this is some pressure to be toilet trained in time for starting 3-year-old kinder (which begins in February)... children are supposed to be toilet trained, but I wasn't really worried if he didn't meet the deadline. The sessions are only 2.5 hours, and he usually doesn't need a nappy change that often. (Although it has been useful as an extra incentive: "kinder kids wear undies and you are going to be a kinder kid", etc.)

So two days ago we went 'cold turkey' on day time nappies. I didn't plan it or anything. I just took off his overnight nappy in the morning and told him he was going to wear undies today. Of course he protested and asked for a nappy so I stalled and said we could put one on 'in a minute' and that he just had to 'wear undies for a little while, while I get a fresh nappy'. Minutes became hours and now hours has become 2 days.

Day 1 was easy - we stayed home all day and he got right into it. Just went and sat on the potty when he needed to wee. We had 4 or 5 hits (including a poo on the potty!) and only one miss late in the afternoon when he was getting tired and had reduced concentration.

Day 2 was fine, all going well until... I had to leave the house! Thumper had her 4 month old appointment with the Maternal and Child Health Nurse at 2.00 pm. About an hour before we needed to leave, BallFiend said he felt like a poo was 'coming soon, but not yet'. I had him sit on the potty anyway - he did a wee, but the poo was a no-show. So I put him in brand new terry toweling training pants and we went to the MCH appointment. I left BallFiend to play in the waiting room while I went into the Nurse's office with Thumper. But I had barely sat down before I heard BallFiend cry out "Mum I've got a poo!". Too late. It was in his pants. That wasn't such a problem. The problem was getting the pants off, without spilling the poo.

Never in all my pre-baby life when I speculated about what might be the greatest trial of parenting did I imagine that I would have to pick poo up off the floor WITH MY BARE HANDS!!!

As I attempted to carefully slide the training pants down BallFiend's legs, he 'helpfully' tried to lift his feet out through the holes, knocking poo everywhere. Then he started to run off, to continue playing, nearly stepping in the poo before he nearly sat down on the floor to keep playing with the toys he had out. I grabbed him just in time and pleaded with him to wait and stand still until I had wiped him up. Then I dealt with the poo on the floor, depositing it in the nearest toilet and scrubbing the floor as best I could with cheap paper towel.

With that trauma over, I went back in to continue Thumper's check up. She did really well. Didn't even poo on the scales while she was being weighed.

So that brings us to today, Day 3. Another successful day overall. The highlight of the day being BallFiend's debut on 'the big toilet' while we were at the library for the ABA meeting. I was so impressed: he told me that he needed to do a wee and was able to hold on while I thrust Thumper upon one of the ABA counsellors (who was more than happy to have a baby to cuddle) and then raced him off to the loo. He sat up on the big toilet without any concern (I had to hold him up there though), did his wee and that was that. It was like he'd being doing this all his life.

So it seems we are now officially in undies all day and only wearing nappies at night time. Still not sure what to do for day time naps. Today I used a disposable pull-up, because he was brewin' another poo, and lucky I did because when I woke him up from his nap, I discovered he had done a poo. Though I suspect if I had left him in undies he would have used the potty. I get the feeling that once he is in a disposable nappy (even if it's the pull up style) he just reverts to his old ways.

Now, just another 2 years or so to go until I am done with changing nappies... unless Thumper turns out to be one of those elite 18 month old toilet trainees. Fingers crossed she will be. I have been using cloth nappies with her, because I read somewhere that babies in cloth nappies toilet train at a younger age. Will have to wait and see if you can believe everything you read about babies... Ha!

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Look Ma! I have balls!

It had to happen eventually, and now it has. BallFiend has discovered that he has his very own set of balls that are always with him and can never get lost from their special little pouch. Now, how to get him to stop playing with them all the time?
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