The war on widdles

About 6 weeks ago, I started 'active' toilet training with BallFiend. I had hoped that by waiting until he was older, he would get the hang of it straight away and so would magically just switch from nappies to undies in a few days (coz that's what all the experienced mums-of-three-or-more-children told me would happen if I waited until he was older).

Overall, I would say that this has been mostly true. The first two weeks of toilet training went very smoothly. BallFiend was highly motivated and rarely had any misses. However the shine wore off and by week three there were frequent wees on the floor and poos in the pants. This is not my idea of fun. Any parenting books that encourage you to "embrace this new stage in your child's journey to independence' are full of shit. There is nothing fun about toilet training, the only thing that makes it worthwhile is knowing (hoping) that eventually your child will stop using their underpants as pseudo-cloth nappies!

Still there's no going back, so we pushed on and six weeks down the track, things are gradually improving. We still have one or two accidents every two days - mostly when BallFiend is tired at the end of the day, or if he is deeply involved in play and doesn't notice that he needs to go. However, it is now obvious that BallFiend considers himself to be permanently in undies and has no desire to wear nappies again (for a few weeks he frequently asked to wear nappies again).

So, thought this would be a good time to record some of my tactics - so I remember them for use with Thumper when her time comes.

Toilet Training Tactics

In addition to the usual stuff that most people seem to do (frequent reminders to go to the toilet; always go to the toilet after a meal; allowing lots of time for running about naked; potty near where the kid is playing, etc.), I have developed a few toilet training tactics of my own:

1. Cleaning-up after a miss

A flat cloth nappy (preferrably terry toweling rather than flannelette) is the perfect tool for cleaning up a 'miss'. Spread the nappy on the floor and have your darling stand on it whilst you pull down their pants. Any poo that falls out lands on the nappy, not the floor. Any wee that has trickled down onto your darling's feet is mopped up. And simultaneously, the nappy mops up the wee puddle on the floor. Dump the wet/soiled clothing in the middle of the nappy, bundle the whole lot up and take it to the laundry (or stick it in a plastic bag until you get home if you are out).

2. Reward charts

Sticker charts work, but only for a week or so. Then they get boring (and not just for the kid - for the parents as well). So I invented a game:

My version is beach-themed, due to BallFiend's current obsessions with beach balls and swim rings. The beach ball has to start at the house and travel, stop-by-stop, down the road to the beach. Each time BallFiend successfully uses the toilet, the beach ball (or swim ring) moves down the road to the next stop. I laminated the game board and several beach ball and swim rings as game tokens. When the beach ball reaches the beach, a prize is awarded (although not every time, just when additional motivation is required).

3. The going-out kit

When going out I carry "the Kit" which consists of:

• 2 or 3 pairs of underpants;
• 2 or 3 pairs of socks;
• three old wash cloths;
• a terry toweling square nappy;
• several plastic bags;
• 2 or 3 pairs of pants;
• BallFiend's drink bottle which doubles as a water supply for wetting the wash cloths;
• a bottle of hand-sanitizing gel in case I am not near soap and water (I used to carry around in his nappy bag, pre-toilet training too).

So far I have never used more than one change of clothes when out, but I always carry plenty, just in case.

4. Undies or a cloth nappy - let the child choose

When BallFiend was going through the 'want to wear nappies again' stage, I offered him the choice of undies or a fitted terry cloth nappy. As is unsurprising for a child who always wore disposable nappies, he didn't like it and so always opted for undies. I think that having a sibling who is also wearing cloth nappies helped too, since BallFiend wanted to be a big kid and so didn't want to wear nappies like his baby sister's.

That's about it for now... will add more ideas if I come up with anything else that seems to work well.

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