Why? Why? Why?

Why do clouds float?
Why do we sometimes get circles in our porridge?
What would happen if a glass bottle fell on a glass floor?

- BallFiend's most recent musings. I particularly liked the last one... it certainly made me stop and think. 

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Iceberg ahead!

For no readily apparent reason, I woke up this morning at 6.18 am. For the first time in about 5 nights Thumper hadn't woken up crying at 3.30 am. (Might be something to do with her being warmer than previous nights after I boosted the layers of her night attire and bedclothes by swapping the singlet for a spencer and adding an extra blanket on her cot; this is in addition to the usual all-in-one suit, bed-socks, extra-warm all-in-one suit and a 'gro-bag' sleeping bag on top.) So despite an accumulated sleep debt, for some reason, my body seemed to think 6.18 am was enough sleep thank you very much. Bah!

I was up by 7.00 am after my cup of tea in bed (thank you DeepSpice!) and decided that I had enough energy and motivation to go out and do something. So made a snap decision to go to the Melbourne Museum and see the Titanic exhibition before it finishes in October. I knew BallFiend would enjoy the Museum and although Thumper's a bit young, I figured she will get more out of this visit compared to the last time we went to the museum back in June 2009, when she was a 6 month old foetus.

I sold the idea to BallFiend by showing him some photos of the Titanic, which then naturally led to discussions of icebergs, submarines and DEATH! (A current favourite topic, but not in a morbid way, just in a curious-about-life-because-I-am-four-years-old kind of way.)

Once he was fully briefed (what did parents do before there was Google Images?), I raced about the house like a mad-woman, packing sandwiches and snacks, refilling nappy bags and loading up the car. I also decided that the dishes needed to be washed before we left. As I was filling the sink, BallFiend impressed me when he came over and asked to help. He wanted to wash (because he wanted to play with the bubbles!) but I knew that would be asking for disaster so I convinced him to start his apprenticeship with drying and told him to pick a tea towel (he chose the green one of course). He had a good go at drying the dishes and I was reminded again that I really need to make more opportunities for him to be helping around the house, before he gets to that age where he won't!

We left at 9.50 am, in the car today as the weather forecast for hail storms didn't really make the train an appealing option. Once at the Museum, we made a bee-line for the Titanic exhibition and I gave the kids morning tea while we stood in the queue. After about 10 minutes we were admitted via a cut-out in the side of a (small!) replica Titantic hull where a photographer took our photo in front of a green screen... ready for the merchandising assault that would come at the end.

The queue continued to snake it's way all through the exhibition, but BallFiend wasn't having any of that, darting about from one display to the next, with me desperately trying to keep up whilst manoeuvring the pram between elderly women in twin-sets and pearls, ruddy-faced elderly gents who could have passed for officers on the Titantic crew and parents with older school aged kids who gave me disdainful looks that screamed 'we have well-behaved children, why can't you control your child?'.

I kept my cool and continued to very politely say 'excuse me please, I need to bring the pram through." and in response the next grumpy old sod would begrudgingly shift half a centimetre across, as if they thought I could magically shrink the pram to fit through whatever gap they would deign to grant me!

Still BallFiend and I managed to enjoy ourselves and BallFiend was fascinated with seeing all the relics which had "sunk to the bottom of the sea!" His highlights were touching the iceberg (a actual wall of ice about 2 metres high and 4 metres long) and seeing one full marble and the hemi-spherical remains of a second marble that had belonged to a child on the ship.

We made our escape past the merchandise and stopped for toilets and to change Thumper's nappy before wandering over to the [insert name of inappropriate sponsor for a kids' venue here] Children's Garden to eat our lunch. Once there, I spied some familiar faces who we hadn't seen in months: The Adel-lady and PainterSam with LittleMissP and LittleMissA (who is 2.5 years old already, and toilet trained!). We had a bit of a catch up whilst BallFiend and LittleMissP ran amok, and Thumper dragged herself around on the concrete and chewed on quoits and hula hoops. Then BallFiend threw one of the hoops over the fence and out of the Museum grounds, so I decided it was time to go.

The rest of the day consisted of:

• a play in the "1, 2, 3 Grow" display in the Children's Gallery;
• another Thumper nappy change;
• a whale 'touch trolley' (pieces of dead whale to hold including: teeth, baleen plate, rib bones, and some shrimps encased in a perspex block);
• dinosaur bones;
• explaining the concept of evolution to BallFiend when we went through the "Life" exhibition;
• looking at blood, bones, spew and poo in the "Human body" section;
• a walk through the rainforest or rather a run, as I chased BallFiend whilst he tried to see "where the stream goes next". BallFiend was fascinated with the waterfall which was generating enormous amounts of misty water vapour.
• a pit stop at the cafe where BallFiend had an enormous chocolate biscuit with chocolate chips and smarties on top, which he ate by picking the smarties off, then crumbling the biscuit apart to get to the chocolate chips.
• a short wander through the Aboriginal exhibition - BallFiend was interested in the eel trap, possum fur cloak and the digeridoos, but best of all he liked the squiggly-line pattern made on the carpet by a special lighting effect.

Last stop was the Museum shop where we found a (what will hopefully be a well-received) birthday present for MasterW for his forth-coming fourth birthday on September fourth. Then down to the car park to part with a ridiculous amount of money for the privilege of leaving the car in a mostly empty car park for a little over five hours.

My inclination to take the train next time, regardless of the weather forecast was reinforced by the drive home: a hair-raising journey due to the road-raging maniacs everywhere.

On arriving home, I had a quick (and hard-earned!) cup of tea then made dinner and got the kids into the bath at 6.10 pm, just as DeepSpice arrived home. Apparently the day's outing was a hit with BallFiend who spent most of the time while he was in the bath and getting ready for bed telling DeepSpice all about the marble and the broken half-a-marble, and the toothbrush with no bristles, and great big rusted metal tool (an 1 metre long wrench) and the iceberg and the poo and the bones and the many other things we saw at the Museum.

Once ready for bed -- after DeepSpice had got him into PJs and read some stories -- BallFiend decided that I should be the one to tell him his 'talking story in bed' tonight (this is usually DeepSpice's domain). The requested theme for tonight's talking story was about a boy who goes to a museum and sees a big ship that sank to the bottom of the sea, guest starring... a marble and a broken half-a-marble. Ah, BallFiend, ever-fixated on your one true passion!

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Beware of falling icebergs

Mum, remember a long time ago when little icebergs fell down on our house?

- BallFiend, reminiscing about a hail storm.

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Dreams at the push of a button

Me: Did you have good dreams last night?

BallFiend: Yeah, but I forgot to turn off my dreams. There are air-buttons in my room to turn off my dreams.

Me: Air-buttons?

BallFiend: There are buttons in the air in my bedroom to turn off my dreams, but I forgot to turn off my dreams.

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Once bitten...

Thumper bit me this morning when I was breastfeeding her. She has three teeth... well two and a half really: two at the bottom and one at the top which is about one-quarter of the way to being fully emerged from the gum. But obviously having part of a top tooth is still enough to give a nip with. Hopefully my yelling "ouch!" then firmly saying "no" will deter her from doing it again. But probably not - I think I had to endure two or three bites from BallFiend before he got the message.

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Creeping about at night

I got a bit of a start tonight when BallFiend suddenly materialised in our lounge room. He had been tucked into bed at about 7:30 pm and all was quiet. Suddenly, our sleepy boy appeared out of the dark hallway, rubbing his eyes, to tell us that "my nappy is uncomfortable". After the necessary adjustments were made, DeepSpice carried him back to bed. But our misdemeanour had not escaped notice:

"Why are you eating your dinner at the coffee table in front of the TV?" he asked.

"We'll talk about it in the morning." I replied.

I've been waiting for this to happen, even since we moved him out of a cot and into a 'big' bed about a year ago and I'm surprised it has taken this long. I'm very glad he didn't call out for us to come to him, as that might have woken Thumper. But I wonder now how long it will be before he starts playing the get-up-after-going-to-bed game and we will be learning new parenting tricks for keeping a four-year-old in bed after lights out.

I have a strong memory from my own childhood of creeping out of bed at night, once my parents had settled down to watch TV, so I could keep watching the TV too. I would strategically position myself out of view by lying on the floor in doorway to the lounge room, with my parents sitting on the couch, their backs to me. From there, I could see at least the half of the screen by looking through the gap under the couch. Every ad break, I would jump up and rush back to my bed, my heart racing with the thrill of nearly being caught. Of course, now that I am a parent, I realise that my parents no doubt knew what I was up to but chose to let me 'get away with it'. No idea why though.

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Holiday at Ocean Grove

Remember a while back I said I wanted a holiday? Well I still do. Despite the fact that we did end up having one... sort of.

On July 5th, we took off to Ocean Grove for a week in a rented beach house. (I started writing this post the week after we got back, but it has taken a few 'sittings' to get it finished!)

The Plan...

Day 1: Pack the car the night before, leave home at 9.30 am and be at Werribee Zoo by 10.00 am. Leave the zoo by 2.00 pm and arrive at holiday house in Ocean Grove by 4.00 pm, with plenty of time to settle in before it got too late in the evening.

Days 2 - 7: Relax at the beach house, complete with extensive play equipment in the yard, toys, books and puzzles inside, so kids will require minimum adult-led entertainment. Mostly eat out, but use the fully-equiped kitchen for the occasional meal in. Play on the beach a bit, ride on the steam train at Queenscliffe, play mini-golf. Read lots of books. Gran and GrandPaul to join us for a few days so we can relax and do nothing much while they entertain the kids.

Day 8: Drive home after lunch, leaving early enough to avoid the worst of the traffic on the Ring Road. Arrive home with enough time to get some laundry done and to get organised for the rest of the week.

The Reality...

Day 1 (5 July): Leave home at 10.30 am. Stop off at Gran and GrandPaul's house (for the voucher to get into Werribee Zoo for half price which we had forgotten to take with us the previous day). Miss the freeway turn off to Werribee Zoo, detour through Werribee, arrive at the Zoo about 11.30 am.

Book onto the 12.30 pm safari tour then find that it is cancelled because the bus broke down. Wait for the 1.00 pm safari tour. Kill time by taking BallFiend on a walk to see some emus and brolgas while DeepSpice hangs out at the safari tour bus stop with Thumper. Get a call on my mobile from DeepSpice saying "get back here now! The bus is leaving in 1 minute". Pick up BallFiend and run flat out for about 90 seconds with him in my arms back to the bus stop. Enjoy the safari tour - highlights include a zebra pissing, a different zebra pissing and shitting,

an arthritic giraffe called Tony (RIP - he died about a week later), an ostrich frotteurising with our bus and a rhino pissing, and pissing, and pissing, and pissing... and pissing, and pissing... and pissing. Big animal, big bladder. Wander about the rest of the zoo - checking out the lions (well, lion - but it was really close up!), monkeys, wild dogs, cheetahs and hippos. Leave at about 3.00 pm.

Drive on to Ocean Grove. Muck up the navigation (stupid out of date Melways) and drive through Geelong instead of going on the brand new Geelong by-pass. Hit roadworks and get forced to take a detour halfway to Torquay before finally getting back on track towards Ocean Grove. Arrive at the beach house at about 6.00 pm. It's freezing - get the heaters on then make beds, prepare dinner (pasta bolognese, of course!) in the 'fully-equiped' kitchen that isn't, get over-tired hyperactive children ready for bed and finally sit down for a glass of wine before collapsing into bed ourselves.

Day 2 (6 July): Spend some time in the morning playing outside with BallFiend - trying out the enormous trampoline and playing croquet (borrowed from our local toy library) in the back yard of our beach house. Then out for brunch at The Dunes Cafe. BallFiend has a massive tantrum.

Short play at the beach. Wander around in the main shopping strip of Ocean Grove. Stock up at the supermarket and get some treats at the bakery. Home for dinner - another challenging night of cooking in a not-fully equiped kitchen - and an early night.

Day 3 (7 July): Gran and GrandPaul arrive at about 10 am. We go to a Maze and Mini Golf tourist attraction. Do the maze first, and stupidly take Thumper in the pram, so lots of carrying the pram up and down the stairs as we get more and more lost in the maze. Finally get back to the cafe for lunch and find out that all that is left is one sausage roll, one pie and a plate of scones, which we share between 4 adults and 2 kids. Play mini golf, much to BallFiend's delight. GrandPaul gets frustrated when BallFiend doesn't play by the rules, walks in the way of others trying to have their shot and generally behaves like a 3.8 year old. DeepSpice is too good at mini golf so we force him to play with a handicap - specifically, Thumper strapped onto his front in the Ergo baby carrier. She sleeps through most of the game.

Dinner at Ocean Grove hotel. We are the only people there when we arrive at 5.30 pm. When we leave at 7.00 pm, there are 2 other groups dining and a few at the bar. Guess we didn't need to book.

Day 4 (8 July): Queenscliffe. Steam train.

Lunch out with Gran, GrandPaul, Thumper and DeepSpice at The Apostle. Dinner out (just me and DeepSpice) at At The Heads while grandparents baby-sit. Thumper waits till we drive out the driveway, then screams non-stop until about 9.00 pm when she finally conks out. BallFiend sleeps on the couch while he waits for Thumper to settle in their shared room. Lucky for us, all was quiet when we got home but Gran and GrandPaul tell us that they spent most of the evening standing in the kitchen, drinking wine with a dim light on, so as not to disturb BallFiend who was attempting to sleep on the couch whilst Thumper settles in the bedroom! PS. our dinner at At The Heads was awful - badly cooked food and a noisy atmosphere with average service, despite charging $30+ for a main.

Day 5 (9 July): Gran and GrandPaul return to Melbourne. We go back for more Mini Golf at the competing tourist attraction across the road. This one is much, much better. We play the first 18 holes then go back for the second course - 36 holes in one afternoon! BallFiend starts to lose it at the end - gets tired and has a massive tantrum for the last 13 holes. Dinner at The Bark Hut restaurant - gastronomic highlight of the week! Highly recommended. Brilliant service - really welcoming of children, lovely food and cosy atmosphere, plus a short walk from our accommodation.

Day 6 (10 July): Drive to Torquay for the morning. Hot chocolates for morning tea. It's raining. Head to the beach. Rain has stopped for now. Get everyone out of the car, Thumper strapped onto DeepSpice in the Ergo again. Walk down to beach. BallFiend announces that he needs to do a poo. Get everyone back into the car and look for a toilet... and find one after driving only 100 m or so. DeepSpice takes BallFiend to toilet. BallFiend no longer needs to do a poo. Decide to walk to beach from where we have parked the car. Halfway there, BallFiend decides he does need to poo. Walk back to the toilets. BallFiend no longer needs to do a poo. Give up on trying to get to the beach. Set up a picnic beside the river, under ominous grey clouds and hope that the rain holds off. It does until we finish eating.

Return to car and drive back towards the holiday house (with BallFiend complaining bitterly about not having gone to the beach). Stop off at a different beach access, closer to Barwon Heads. Open the back of the car to get out coats and hats. A wind gust reaches into the car and snatches BallFiend's beach ball (that cost $2.00 from Coles). We watch the beach ball disappear over the cliff and presumably out to sea. BallFiend dissolves into tears. We start our descent down the cliff-side stairs to the beach. DeepSpice goes on ahead and, amazingly, retrieves the beach ball. We spend about half an hour pottering around looking in rock pools, while BallFiend moans about not wanting to go to the beach and wanting to go home.

Finally we decide to go home. BallFiend commences moaning about not wanting to go home and wanting to stay at the beach. Sigh.

Go out for dinner at Bolzano Cucina, an Italian restaurant in Ocean Grove's main drag. BallFiend takes an interest in the specials board, a blackboard hanging on the wall, and in the process of trying to look behind it, knocks it off the wall and nearly knocks himself out. Dinner finished by 7.00 pm, back home and kids in bed by 8.00 pm.

Day 7 (11 July): DeepSpice takes BallFiend to the Ocean Grove beach. Make a sand-mermaid.

Thumper and I meet them at about midday for lunch at the Dune Cafe. Return to the beach after lunch. Obviously suffering from sun-stroke (I know it is Winter, but he is a red-head), DeepSpice accompanies BallFiend into the water for a paddle!

Thumper and I play in the sand. She enjoys knocking over sand castles, tipping sand off the spade but most just eating the sand.

Go home late afternoon, make dinner, get kids into bed, then start packing ready for our departure tomorrow.

Day 8 (12 July): Spend all morning cleaning, washing sheets (and madly trying to get them dry in a dryer that wasn't cooperating), packing the car and simultaneously entertaining the kids. Depart about 11.30 am. Buy pies for lunch at the bakery which says "the best pies in the world" or something similar on the shop window. Take pies, and children, to a near by playground.

Eat pies. Discover they are not even close to the best in the world. Pack everyone back into the car and drive home. Unpack car, unpack bags, start on the laundry, preparing dinner, etc. etc. etc. Realise I feel more tired than when we left and that if it wasn't for the photos and the credit card debt, I wouldn't believe we'd even been on holidays.

I still want a holiday, but the holiday I want is a holiday from the responsibilities for caring for children, something I'm not going to get for quite a few years yet. Sigh.

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My little metrosexual

BallFiend: "Mum! Come and look! They're wearing out!"

He sounds worried so I rush into the bathroom where BallFiend is looking in the mirror.

BF: "See they're wearing out."

Me: "What is wearing out?"

BF: "When I was in your tummy a long time ago there was lipstick in your tummy and it got on my lips and now it is wearing out, see?" (pointing to his lips)

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