BallFiend: That tree looks like a Christmas tree [on seeing a very tall conifer in the front garden of a house]. Christmas is Jesus' birthday. Actually, I know the true story about Jesus...
Me: How do you know about Jesus?
BallFiend: Well, F. [another prep kid at school] told me... Some people wanted to kill Jesus. They were angry with him because they thought he'd done something wrong. But he'd actually done good things. So they killed him by nailing him to a cross. And then they put him a box and took the box away somewhere. And then his girlfriend went and she found the box and asked "are you alive?" and then the box thought she was talking to it and said "yes I'm alive". But Jesus wasn't [alive].
And that's for real!
So there you have it: the true story of Jesus.
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