A special moment

Last night, CutLuce came over to look after BallFiend as DeepSpice and I were going out to a HypnoBirthing class. While I was getting BallFiend into his pyjamas, CutLuce was quizzing him about who his best friend is...

CutLuce: "Is LittleMissL your best friend?"
BallFiend: "No."
CutLuce: "Is LittleMissP your best friend?"
BallFiend: "No."
CutLuce: "Is MasterW your best friend?"
BallFiend: "No."
Me: "Is S. (at creche) your best friend?
BallFiend: "No."
Me: "What about L. (at creche)? Is he your best friend?
BallFiend: "No."
CutLuce: Is DesignerSis your best friend?
BallFiend: "No."
CutLuce: Is DesignerMonkey your best friend?
BallFiend: "No."
CutLuce: Is Wigward your best friend?
BallFiend: "No."
CutLuce: Am I your best friend?
BallFiend: "No."
CutLuce: So who is your best friend?
BallFiend: "Mum."

My heart melted!

When I set out on this parenting journey, nearly three years ago now, I never had the slightest comprehension that my child would one day describe me as his best friend! Whilst I do remember reading ages ago that a young baby sees their mother (or primary carer) as their main friend and playmate (and not just as a carer and provider), I had sort of forgotten this. I suppose I assumed that because BallFiend is older now, and more independent in his play, this does not really apply anymore.

But in that instant, when BallFiend named me as his best friend, I gained a whole new insight into how he views me and our relationship. To me, he is my son and I understand our relationship as being primarily about responsibility - ie. mine! I need to love him, raise him well, care for him physically and emotionally, guide him through life and help him learn and develop... and ultimately ensure that he grows into a healthy, happy, independent adult. Each day is 'work' that I need to do towards this end (and usually with many challenges to be negotiated in doing so): serving meals, changing nappies, brushing teeth, reading stories, playing with toys, talking about the world and all the things in it, providing (positive) discipline, and settling for naps/sleep, etc.

In that one special moment, BallFiend made me realise that despite the number of times a day that I...

• grow bored with re-reading him the same story,
• get fed up with 'helping' (ie. instructing/coaching) him pick up balls to return to the ballpit,
  
• become impatient while waiting for him to finish a meal or get dressed;
  
• put my needs and wants ahead of his, or
  
• lose my temper,

I must still be doing something right!
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