My evening began at my house with CutLuce and Miss Jo arriving around 5 pm so we could head out together (I got to be the designated driver because of the whole not-drinking-when-pregnant thing). I was happy to take a tram but Miss Jo had access to free parking in the city so talked me into driving. (In hindsight I think the tram would have been much easier than driving in the City on a Saturday night, and would have taken half the travel time. Here endeth Lesson One.)
We started off at a venue with a groovy little bar for cocktails, then went into their restaurant area for a set-menu dinner. I had a 'mocktail' and watched everyone else drink their fancy cocktails... except for our Hen, who played it safe and went with bubbles. Dinner choices included Barramundi, Chicken, Lamb Shanks or a vegetarian risotto. Everyone had Barra, except myself and DesignerSis who had Chicken and one other in the party who had the Lamb. All meals were beautifully presented and rather tasty. (Although the chicken was not served with any vegies, just lentils. Not the best thing to be digesting later in the evening when one is out in public. Here endeth Lesson Two.)
In keeping with the custom of making a hen wear a ridiculous costume and perform silly tasks, during dinner, our Hen was progressively kitted out in her outfit for the evening:
Our pimp-of-the-night was christened 'Juicy Mama Lucy' and given the task of selling off all the girls in the hen's party over the course of the night (Hell Money provided as part of the costume to ensure that willing purchasers of our services would have access to loans should they require it). She started out by giving everyone their working girl names while we tucked into our dessert (a choice of pannacotta,very very rich chocolate tart, or affogato). Then, the first 'sale' of the evening was made to a 'gentleman' at the next table.Around 10 pm, left the restaurant for our next stop: a karaoke joint. As we were leaving the bar, a few more girls were sold off to a bouncer and various passers-by.
DesignerSis and her sister-outlaw and I went to get the car and drive it up closer to the karaoke venue, The walk back to the car was only 2 blocks, but I was very glad to change out of my low heels and into flat shoes at this point. The rest of our party walked to the karaoke venue (5 blocks in their high heels!). Here endeth Lesson Three.
Finding a new parking spot at the northern end of the City was looking impossible and we had just about given up when DesignerSis spotted a great park in what is a loading zone during the day. We only had to walk about a block-and-a-half to the karaoke place and found the others waiting in the foyer for our private room to be cleaned. About 10 minutes later we were ushered upstairs, past boxy room after boxy room, the muffled sounds of karaoke music wafting through the air. The whole place reminded me of band rehearsal studios, but full of asian karaoke enthusiasts instead of metal-head guitarists and sleazy drummers. I noticed a sign on the wall "you are responsible for cleaning up any vomit in your room" and my sense of impending doom increased.
Our room had couches around the sides, coffee tables in the middle, a wall-mounted projector, four microphones and a computer in the corner for song-selection. The first round of drinks was ordered -- a few bottles of bubbles, and a lemonade for me -- and the singing and dancing began. The rest of the party continued along similar lines, with a series of smokers coming and going every few songs and a funny interlude when CutLuce was ordered to go to another room and convince a man to come in and join us for a song. She succeeded in dragging 'Fred' back into our room where he obliged with a sexy dance.
Around 11.30 pm, I stepped out for a toilet break and to phone DeepSpice and see how he was going. I was desperately tired at this point and just wanted to go home, but felt that I should stay in case anyone needed driving home.
An hour and a half into our two-hour booking, I was told to make sure I kept ordering drinks as the drinks are included in the room booking. It was at this point I realised just how much the place charges: $460 for the room for 2 hours and this included a $300 drinks tab. Sure, the prices of the drinks were ridiculously expensive (like $40 for a bottle of Australian sparking wine that would probably be $12 in a bottle shop), but even so, for 10 or 12 women to drink their way through a tab of that size is physiologically impossible! Apart from being a rip-off, it was very disheartening to see a venue encouraging binge drinking in this way.
At 12.30 pm, a final round of drinks arrived (Midori and lemonade) and our time was up. CutLuce, Miss Jo and some others decided to go back to one of their homes and continue the night's festivities, so I was relieved of my chauffeuring duties. DesignerSis and her sister-out-law walked back to my car with me and I drove them to a location where they could flag a cab home. I was suddenly a little glad that I was driving. Cabs on a Saturday night can be hard to come by. Here endeth Lesson Four.
The drive home was 'eventful'. As I left the City and got into the 'burbs nearer home, I nearly ran down two very drunk guys who suddenly ran out across the road, leaving a brothel on one side and heading to a pub on the other. A large crowd of men were gathered on either side of the road -- either cheering them on or trying to pick a fight, I am not sure which. A few blocks further along, I saw a large crowd of drunken teenagers hanging around out the front of a non-descript shop front. Not sure what kind of party had been going on in there, but there were teenagers everywhere fighting, dancing, snogging and nearly falling onto the road. The drive home was really quite scary and I suddenly got a real sense of what police are talking about in recent media coverage of alcohol-related violence in the City at night.
I arrived home about 1.10 pm and found DeepSpice was still up, watching some old war movie whilst making his guitar effects pedals. Once in bed, I was too wired up to go straight to sleep (probably all that sugary soft drink), so I read for a while and then lay in the dark tossing and turning till about 3 am when I finally drifted off. I was awake again at 5.30 am when BallFiend started crying out for his dummy. Thankfully DeepSpice attended to this so I was able to sleep a bit more. Sometime around 7.30 am, BallFiend woke up and once again DeepSpice did the hard yards, getting BallFiend up, fed, dressed and keeping him entertained until I staggered out of bed at about 9.30 am.
Sunday was a complete write-off as I was too tired to do anything. I napped again at about 11.30 am, then again at about 3 pm. Finally around 5 pm I started to feel a bit more 'with it' and managed to stay up for dinner and a little TV before going to bed again.
Next weekend is the Bucks Night for DesignerMonkey. I can only hope that DeepSpice has a less exhausting time of it than my experience... though I suppose not being pregnant will be a bonus.
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