warning

Don't do that! No, don't go there! That's dangerous... I don't want you to pop yourself.

BallFiend, talking to his 'blown-up rubber ring' [which is what he calls his inflatable pool toy ring].

--

X marks the mass

Many months ago, sometime around March I think it was, VolubleK and I came up with an idea for Christmas: to bring our families together and have a big Christmas day like the ones we remember when we were kids... the sort of day when there a heaps of people because an extensive number of extended family all turn up to gorge themselves, spoil the kids with lots of toys and chocolates and to re-gift the crappy presents from previous years.

So in November, after re-confirming with VolubleK that the plan was still good to go, I rounded up the family: StompyDad, CutLuce and DesignerMonkey, DesignerSis and Wigward all said they would come. Unfortunately though, Gran and GrandPaul declined as they wanted to have one last Christmas day lunch with Gran's second cousin and his family before his planned repatriation back to Canada. (He and his family are secular Jews who like to join in on Christmas festivities anyway.)

What we ended up with was probably the epitome of a Gen X Christmas. Family and friends, old and young, were present, and there was a smattering of tradition thrown in amongst a whole lot of 'don't act too enthusiastic - it's just another day after all'.

Our Christmas Day began with a morning visit to Gran and GrandPaul's house where we were treated to brunch - a tasty quiche, fresh cherries and of course some fine wine (obligatory as far as GrandPaul is concerned). Gran's cousin and family arrived and we did the first round of gift exchanging for the day. We gave GrandPaul and Gran a doormat with "We serve only the finest Australian wine here. Did you bring any?" emblazoned upon it, which was well-received. Also to GrandPaul an autographed copy of Free to a Good Home by Catherine Deveny (DeepSpice went to her book signing) and to Gran some smelly (floral) soaps which she always likes.

We had received our present from Gran and GrandPaul a few days earlier - a portable gazebo for our backyard (as I was after a shady place for BallFiend and Thumper to play until our trees grow bigger). However, being the generous sorts that they are, they also gave us a few more things, but the focus was really on BallFiend and Thumper who were showered with gifts.

Next stop was VolubleK's house. After we arrived, there was more frenzied exchanging of gifts, followed by lunch. The adults sat at the table, the kids ran riot and barely stopped to eat as far as I could tell. In the midst of it all though, BallFiend sat down and ate in his picky, meticulous way. He generally takes about an hour to eat a simple sandwich, so Christmas lunch with all it's unfamiliar foods took him forever, by the time he picked out all the things he didn't want to eat. After lunch BallFiend played with PetitAmi and her big sister; he particularly liked the billiard table. ("Look mum! Billion balls!!") We finished up with dessert at about 5.30 pm and didn't end up leaving until 7.00 pm, with a very, very tired BallFiend.

Here is the summary of our ill-gotten goods (seeing as we are atheists, and so don't officially qualify for Christmas goodies):

Me:

• Friendly Fire by Wil Anderson,
• Wil Anderson's Wilosophy DVD
  
• a purple scarf
• Space Oddity by David Bowie CD
• some other stuff that I can't think of at the moment
  

DeepSpice and I together:

• a box of chocolates (from Father Christmas),
• Outdoor Kids by Jamie Durie (from StompyDad)
• Mini vacuum cleaner
  
• (the aforementioned) gazebo
• some other stuff that I can't think of at the moment

DeepSpice

• A book by Richard Dawkins.
• some other stuff that I can't think of at the moment

Thumper

• a green hat (from Gran and GrandPaul)
• a purple hat (from DesignerSis and Wigward)
  
• Ernie and Bert soft toys (from Gran's cousin and family).
• In The Night Garden memory game
• green teddy bear
• Dora the Explorer bowl, plate and mug set
• roll-around Fisher Price toy
• Teething rattle toy
• a few books
• some other stuff that I can't think of at the moment

BallFiend

• a toy car
• stilts (from the playgroup Kris Kringle)
  
• Dora the Explorer floor puzzle
  
• a cricket set
• The Umbilical Brothers DVD
  
• a backpack for Kinder
• shoes
• green bath towel with a hood
• a quilt and pillowcae
  
• lots of books
• 12 inflatable mini beach balls! (Father Christmas found these on eBay)
• a large inflatable beach ball and an inflatable penguin-shaped green swim ring (courtesy of his great-aunt and uncle)
• probably some other stuff that I can't think of at the moment

--

Home Sweet Home

Nine years ago today DeepSpice and I bought our house at auction. I can't believe it's been this long!

In that time, we have done a lot of work to the house and garden, including:

• extending the garage to create a workshop space for DeepSpice;
• restumping the entire house;
  
• tearing down the back of the house (including the asbestos-laden fibro cement lean-to) and rebuilding it, creating an open plan kitchen/meals/lounge room and adding a laundry;
• renovating the bathroom and adding an en-suite;
• replacing the decking on the front verandah with recycled Jarrah boards;
• installing ethernet cable and data points in every room (just a few years before wireless became common place, rending all this work a bit pointless!);
  
• repaving the driveway and sideway with new concrete, and adding a new path to the front door;
  
• polishing the floorboards throughout the house (after removing the ugly old axminster carpet);
• putting in an air conditioner (sorry environment, but this was something I really wanted when BallFiend came along... breastfeeding a newborn in 40 degree heat is no fun at all);
• landscaping the front and rear gardens;
• painting the entire house, inside (ourselves) and outside (paid some painters);
• installing canvas awnings outside and new blinds and curtains inside;
• installing a security screen door at the front;
• rebuilding the fence and putting in a new gate;
• getting built-in wardrobes installed in the bedrooms;
  
• and probably quite a few other odds and ends that I can't think of at the moment.
  

Photos...

Before:Front facade

Rear of house

old bathroom
(matching pink bath, just out of view to the left;
and no laundry - just a washing machine in the near corner)

Old kitchen (no pantry, just badly installed shelves out of shot to the left - by badly installed,
I mean shelves nailed and screwed into the plasterboard.
When it was demolished, we counted 19 nails/screws holding in one bracket alone!)

During:

Front garden just landscaped. November 2006.

Back garden - just landscaped, March 2008.

Driveway - new trees planted.
This photo taken in December 2003; trees to either side had been in for about a year.

Plastering done and floors polished. June 2007.

After:
There is no 'after' renovation! Anyone who has ever renovated a house knows that there is always one more thing to do. In our case, several more things to do. Including:

• finish some of the painting (architraves, doors and wardrobes)
• restore original metal window opening fittings (strip paint, reinstall, etc.)
• replace sash cords in several windows
• build in more storage in bathrooms, bedrooms, study
• get a new gate installed across drive way
• plant more things in the garden (the garden bed along one side of the driveway is still bare!)
• finish unpacking all the crap we stored in the garage while we renovated!!
  

However, I will endeavour to take some 'after' photos of our renovated house and add them to this post at some time soon.

So, what now?

It's been a good place to live overall, but with enough annoyances (primarily being on a main road; a nasty neighbour and a floorplan that isn't ideal for a growing family) that I have found myself scanning the real estate supplement of the local paper on numerous occasions, pondering where we could move to that would:

1. not be located on a main road, but would still be near public transport;
   
2. keep us near to all the lovely friends we have in the local area;
3. not be too far from family members that live in various nearby suburbs;
   
4. be cooler in the heat of Summer;
   
5. have all the nice amenities that aren't available round here, like nice parks and good schools, and
6. not require us to win a tattslotto jackpot in order to afford it!

This line of thought then leads me to 'when?'. Should we move now before the kids start school, or wait until just before BallFiend is due to start secondary school? We are so indecisive, that I won't be surprised if we never get around to moving at all!
--

Why?

Why? Why? Why?
Why?
Why? Why?

Because.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Why? Why? Why? Why?
Why not?
Why? Why?

Just because.

Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Why? Why not? Why?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why not? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

Stop asking "Why?".

Why?

-- BallFiend, just before his mother's head explodes.

Why?
--

The best laid plans are unnecessary

Usually I am the epitome of organisation... things planned weeks in advance down the the last detail. But these days, with two kids to care for, planning is something that almost never happens. I always thought that the best things come to those who plan, but this experience proves otherwise...

Saturday afternoon rolled around and an invitation to come for Sunday lunch was received by telephone from Gran and GrandPaul. We accepted their offer and raised them one: "Any chance you could mind BallFiend whilst we go and see a movie?" DeepSpice asked. "We'll take Thumper with us." he hastened to add.

We had two movie vouchers due to expire on Monday. The vouchers were the result of my recouping hard-earned reward points on a former credit card. The credit card was associated with the old bank which we gleefully abandoned in order to get a better interest rate on our home loan at another bank. However, after we refinanced the home loan, I kept the credit card account open for some months, so we could accumulate enough reward points to get something vaguely useful... yeah, like a toaster that fries an egg at the same time.

A few months later, while I was still trying to accumulate enough points to get a measly $10 gift voucher or similar, the old bank sneakily charged us an annual fee without notice. When I complained, they refused to refund it even if we cancelled the card, so we were stuck with keeping the account open for another 12 months to get our money's worth. So I kept playing their game, trying to make just enough purchases to earn the exact number of points to get a $10 gift voucher, only to discover that I now had too many points and might as well try and earn a few more so I could get a $20 gift voucher. This stupidity continued until eventually I gave in and just redeemed my points for whatever I could get.

So that is how I ended up with a $10 Darrell Lea voucher and two movie vouchers. Both vouchers arrived a few months before Thumper's birth, just when I was too tired and sore with pelvic instability to either (a) trapse around shopping centres to find one of the few remaining Darrell Lea stores or (b) sit for ages watching a movie. So the vouchers were put aside to use up after Thumper had emerged.

So of course they all got left until the last minute, because that is how parents of newborn babies live their lives. The day the Darrell Lea voucher was due to expire saw DeepSpice wandering around the CBD looking for the one and only store and successfully returning home with a small box of chocolates for me. And that brings us to now...

A week ago, I remembered that the movie vouchers expired at the end of November and suggested to DeepSpice that he could arrange baby sitting with Gran and GrandPaul or I could give the vouchers to CutLuce or DesignerSis to use up. Of course, neither of these options were followed up, and I had pretty much resigned myself to not getting to use the movie vouchers. So when the phone call inviting us to lunch came, we decided to try going all 'Gen Y' and do things 'last minute'.

Gran and GrandPaul said "Yes, and you can leave Thumper with us too if you want." At first, I couldn't believe it... that I might get to see a movie after all. Then I even started contemplating actually leaving Thumper with them. I had initially ruled this out because of the feeding logistics. Thumper is fully breastfed and I am not very good at expressing milk, nor had Thumper ever tried drinking expressed milk from a bottle. But on Sunday morning, at the last minute (well, a few hours before lunchtime actually), I decided "what the hell - let's leave Thumper too. She isn't going to starve and I can be back to her in 30 minutes if it is urgent." I managed to express 25 mls of milk, and grabbed a bag of frozen milk (expressed two months ago during the early-breastfeeding-super-engorgement phase) and a bottle. Then we raced off to drop the kids off at Gran and GrandPaul's house.

We arrived with about 40 minutes to go until we needed to leave for the movie. And from this point on, the day just got better. Gran and GrandPaul had a tasty lunch (well, brunch really since it was just after 11.00 am) waiting - pide, smoked salmon, salami and salad. Just as well too, as otherwise DeepSpice and I would have been eating nothing but jaffas, popcorn and choc tops for lunch! We dashed off to the theatre with about 25 minutes to spare, and despite getting caught up in a roadwork-related traffic jam, still made it just in time to score a parking spot right next to the theatre.

The next potential hiccup in our not-plans: I noticed that one of the vouchers had actually already expired a month earlier. No idea why they couldn't send me two vouchers with the same expiry date. I rehearsed a sob-story in my head as I handed the vouchers to the box office attendant but she didn't even glance at them. Just handed me two tickets for the movie and we were on our way. After the movie, as there were no frantic messages from Gran and GrandPaul urging us to "come back now!", we decided to go for a coffee. Then about an hour later and still no frantic messages, we decided to push our luck and stop off at the supermarket - ah, the joy of shopping with out children in tow!!

Unfortunately at this point, the luck ran out. The frantic phone call came from GrandPaul, accompanied on backing vocals by a screaming Thumper: "Better come back now, she is refusing to drink milk from the bottle." Apparently she had been calm when she woke from her three-hour sleep, then got a bit upset but calmed down again quickly with some loving attention from BallFiend (what a star!). But now, she had finally realised she was hungry and she just didn't get the bottle concept at all.

So we abandoned our shopping expedition (having managed to purchase only one item, but luckily the most important one: a chocolate advent calendar) and dashed back to the hungry Thumper. Of course, just as we walked in the door, we were informed that she had decided she would partake of the bottle, thanks very much! Still, she clearly preferred the real deal when it was offered and BallFiend was happy to have us back too.

I was impressed with what Gran and GrandPaul had accomplished in our absence: (a) a sleeping baby for most of the time; (b) BallFiend had a swim and did some more toileting practice (remembered to get out of the pool to do a wee); (c) GrandPaul purchased a real pine xmas tree; and (d) BallFiend helped to decorate the tree.

The afternoon was nicely topped-off with an invitation to stay for dinner - although GrandPaul's plan to cook a lamb roast hadn't been realised, so DeepSpice and GrandPaul went and got some oh-so-not-healthy fish and chips for us all. Then we got BallFiend ready for bed and headed for home.

PS. The movie was really good too - The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnasuss.
--

Return of the drummer

Following the birth of Thumper, and as soon as I could get near my computer (the following day), I issued the obligatory email announcing her arrival to family and friends. Amongst the many replies was an email from FreeloadingPhill:

Hooray!
Now I have to harass you with visits again.
Just have to wait until you're ready... or not. hehe

Well, today he made good on his promise and visited us. Well sort of... since he waited to be invited, I'm not sure that it counts as harassment. Regardless it was good to catch up again, after a long time... a long, long time... a really long, long time!

I was out at a physiotherapy appointment when FreeloadingPhill arrived, and as Thumper was with me, BallFiend ended up stealing the limelight. However FreeloadingPhill and DeepSpice were able to snatch a few moments to chat in between an excited BallFiend demanding attention: "Feel! Feel! Come here Feel!" came the cry from deep within the 'ball tent' when BallFiend keeps his stash.

BallFiend reveled in the attention, and FreeloadingPhill demonstrated exceptional skill in keeping a three-year-old entertained. So much so, that I think he shall have to be added to our list of baby-sitters.

My late return also meant that FreeloadingPhill didn't get to see much of Thumper or hold her for long enough for me to capture photographic evidence. Nevermind, as FreeloadingPhill said, one baby is pretty much the same as the next. And with that, he was gone... off to a one-year old's birthday party on the promise of cake.

Sorry Thumper, you'll just have to try harder to be cute...
though I reckon you're plenty cute enough!
--

Cheap as cheese!

I was at the local supermarket the other day, getting a few supplies. Decided to get a new block of Parmesan cheese as the one at home was nearly finished. I usually hunt through the pre-packaged chunks to find one in my price range. Well, this time, I struck gold!
700 grams of cheese priced as 5 grams. Woo-hoo!

Who says you have to be a stingy and old to go bargain hunting?
--

mango

You have suck the mango... you have to suck it off the bone.

BallFiend instructs DeepSpice on the art of eating the mango off the pip.
--

I have a cough

For the past few weeks DeepSpice has had an annoying dry cough, and a bit of a sore throat... and I don't mean annoying for DeepSpice, I mean annoying for me, as he keeps coughing when I am trying to hear the TV, radio or do some other important stuff, like sleep!

Next, BallFiend has a cough, which turns into a proper cold, resulting in him having to stay home from creche last Wednesday... just when I was hanging out for a day of respite! He was quite funny though, proudly telling us "I have a cough... and I feel a bit sad." He was much better a day or two later, but still coughing a lot, even now, a week later. I keep reminding him to cough into his elbow so he doesn't spray Thumper and me with germs. But, of course, he often forgets to. So as of today, I can officially announce that Thumper has her first cold. Luckily she isn't too troubled at the moment, except when trying to breastfeed with her blocked-up nose.
--

I'm are

Despite his exceptional mastery of the English language (considering he is only three years old), BallFiend comes up with a few of his own 'versions' of words and sayings. My current favourites are:

• tryin'gale or trigangle for triangle
• I'm are for I am
• I never seen this [x] before (where x = any number of things that he most definitely has seen before, including our house, the locale park, a plate in our kitchen, etc., etc.)
• using masculine pronouns when referring to his baby sister, eg. 'why is he crying?' or 'put him back in your tummy'.
  

--

Scary goldfish

It had to happen eventually, and apparently today is 'eventually': BallFiend fell in our fish pond. He was playing around at the edge of the pond, then leaning over, then next, a yell, a splash and one wet, frightened three-year-old.

He wasn't hurt and there is a wire-mesh across just below the water level to prevent kids from sinking to the bottom of the pond, so minimal risk of drowning. But he was scared of the goldfish. Luckily Gran was standing close by so she was first on the scene, closely followed by DeepSpice. BallFiend was brought inside and stripped of wet clothes. Unfortunately my recently mopped floors got covered in muddy water in the process.

A cuddle with me and hearing the story about the time DesignerSis fell in a fishpond when she was a baby all helped to cheer BallFiend up.

GrandPaul finished cooking us dinner (hamburgers on the BBQ) and we all sat down to a pleasant meal (including Thumper in DeepSpice's arms, as she had just fed and so needed to be held upright until she had completed her post-feed spewing.
--

Spewin'

Things that Thumper has spewed on today:

• her bib (soaked after every feed, so she gets a fresh one each time)
• her 'spitty nappy' (which we put over our shoulder to protect clothes from the spew)
  
• her clothing (two full changes of clothing so far...)
• my right shoulder (she turned her head, then spewed, thus avoiding the spitty nappy)
  
• my left shoulder (ditto)
  
• my hair
• my pants
  
• my slippers
• my bed
• DeepSpice's jumper
• the couch
• a cushion
• the floor
• ...

Needless to say, the house looks like I run a laundrette!
--

Still stackin' it on

At four weeks of age (plus a few days), Thumper was weighed and measured again. She put on 500 g in 2 weeks! That's one full kilogram since birth. Scary!

I am constantly starving... eating enough to make milk to feed this hungry baby is hard work. Thankfully, I have had DeepSpice waiting on me with meals and snacks. Plus guest masterchef Wigward making dinner for all of us on occasion.
--

Stackin' it on

It is three weeks since Thumper graced us with her presence... three weeks that have gone by so fast!

Thumper had another weigh-in this morning: the 'two-week old' developmental assessment for newborns (one week late), where the local Maternal and Child Health (MCH) Nurse weighs, measures, pokes and prods Thumper and simultaneously (though more subtly) assesses my competence as a parent. Compared to the frequency that BallFiend was weighed and measured (every few days or so it felt like!), the local MCH nurses don't seem very obsessed interested in Thumper's growth. Guess they figure if I didn't stuff up BallFiend too badly, I must know what I am doing this time around.

Anyway, we both 'passed' with flying colours:

• Thumper has put on a 780 g since she was 4 days old (that's over 45 g per day). Proof that mum's milk is super juice!
• Strangely though, Thumper has shrunk a little, measuring 51.7 cm in length (compared with 52 cm at birth). According to NurseVirginia, this can be explained by the fact that 'those midwives in the hospitals don't know how to measure babies'. Another factor might be that it was a student midwife who weighed and measured Thumper in the hospital.
• Whilst Thumper still has a teeny, tiny head, it has grown 5 cm in circumference since her birth 3 weeks ago: now 38 cm.
  
• As neither DeepSpice or I have dropped, drowned or broken the baby (as yet), there is no need to call in the child protection people.
• Everything else is normal, normal, normal.

On the home front, Thumper is a star-baby... does everything just how the textbooks say she should...

• Feeding: feeds every three to four hours during the day (and sometimes even less often if I don't wake her!) and overnight has a feed around 10.00 pm, then another sometime between 2.00 am - 4.00 am, then has her first feed for the morning around 8.00 - 9.00 am. She feeds quickly - around 5 - 10 minutes per side.
  
• Sleeping: overnight, sleeps between 4 - 6 hours at a stretch, occasionally longer (one night she slept from midnight until I woke her at 8.45 am!) and in the daytime she sleeps anywhere from 2 - 4 hours at a time.
• Settling: almost always settles herself to sleep if we place her in her cot when she is drowsy. (Complete opposite to BallFiend who we conditioned from birth to require rocking to sleep in someone's arms or breastfeeding to sleep.)

The only difficulty is with Thumper's reflux which really seems to bother her. She does the normal baby burping and possetting in the first 15 minutes after a feed. But then an hour later (and once as long as two and a half hours later) she vomits very forcefully (we're talking projective milk-spew out the nose!). It obviously causes her distress - she screams and her face contorts in pain. If she is asleep when this happens, it wakes her up. So we are currently debating about whether to take her to the doctor to see if any medication is recommended, or just wait it out and see if she grows out of it in a few weeks/months.

Thumper just after a reflux-out-the-nose episode.

It is really nice to have a baby at home again - and I am making sure I take lots of time to enjoy the experience (since this is it, there ain't no more!). In hindsight, I am realising that I didn't really get much time to enjoy BallFiend's early days, because I was so sleep deprived and in pain when breastfeeding. Whilst we loved having BallFiend as a baby (and continue to love him of course!), it was hard to enjoy the experience at the time because we were so tired and busy learning how to be parents. It is so completely different this time... it is wonderful! I feel very blessed!

My advice to any would-be parent: have your second child first.
--

My shitty day

Some days, you just look back and think: why did I bother?

Wake up at 7.00 am to the sounds of BallFiend. Still tired after getting up to feed Thumper at 4.00 am. My body is still set to 'zombie mode' as I struggle through the morning routine - breakfasts, showers, dressing kids, dressing ourselves, changing nappies, dishes, etc. Thank goodness DeepSpice is still on leave - I cannot begin to imagine how I am going to manage once he goes back to work.

We attempt to leave the house by 10.30 am with entire family (DeepSpice, BallFiend, Thumper and me) in time to get to a walk in the park in Carlton with our local ABA group, which starts at 11.00 am. BallFiend throws a tantum:

"I don't want to go out." he whines.
"OK, you can stay here then, and we will go out without you." I reply.
"NO! I want to come."
"OK you can come too."
"NOOO!! I don't want to come."
(repeat for about 15 minutes)

Finally at 11.00 am, we are all in the car, strapped in and ready to go - running late, but still time to get there and catch up with the others.

The car feels strange as we drive off - like there is something stuck under it. (Strangely my first thought was that it might be a dead body!) DeepSpice gets out to look. Front driver-side tyre is flat. DeepSpice changes tyre with BallFiend supervising. Thumper waits in the car.

At 11.20 am we are on our way (stopping off at a mechanic's garage to inflate the spare tyre that is now on the front driver-side wheel). I phone up to find out where the walkers are up to. It starts to rain and the ABA group leader confirms that it is raining in Carlton too. The walk is abandoned and we arrange to meet the group in a cafe opposite the park.

Arrive at the cafe. No parking anywhere close. DeepSpice drops me and the kids off, then leaves to find a parking space. 5 metres from the cafe door, BallFiend decides to have another tantrum. This time he wants to ride in the pram, not walk. Eventually I get the three of us inside. The ABA group is there so I sit BallFiend at a table and get him some lunch. DeepSpice arrives and orders us hot chocolates.

When it is time to leave, BallFiend throws another tantrum about not wanting to leave. About 15 minutes later, we finally get him out the door.

We drive the car up to our regular tyre shop in Brunswick. Bad news: tyre cannot be repaired. Worse news: The tyre-guy reckons that our tyre was deliberately slashed because the puncture is on the side-wall near the wheel rim ("unless you drove into a really sharp curve in the past few days, it was done deliberately"). But also some good news: they have an identical tyre in stock so we can just buy one, and don't need to buy a matched pair. I breastfeed Thumper at the front of the shop while the tyre is replaced. At least there are no girlie magazines or calendars on the wall.

$90.00 later we are on our way home. It is 2.00pm and still raining on and off. BallFiend is annoyed that he didn't get to the playground as had been planned. Another tantrum to reinforce the point. We get home and take BallFiend to his cot for his afternoon nap but it is very late so he won't sleep. Therefore I don't get an afternoon nap either. We get BallFiend up and DeepSpice takes him out to a playground for a while.

I attempt to do some housework and prepare dinner, but then have to stop to feed Thumper. So when DeepSpice and BallFiend get home, nothing is ready. BallFiend is overtired and doesn't want to eat anyway. We battle through an I-don't-want-any-dinner tantrum, an I-don't-want-to-get-ready-for-bed tantrum, then an I-don't-want-to-go-to-bed tantrum. At last, he is in bed and we can relax to the distant sounds of screaming as the last of the tantrum storm fades out and gives way to sleep.
--

So considerate!

Thumper is now 12 days old and we are all settling into life in a four-person family quite well.

I have to commend her on how very considerate she is (despite the aches and pains she inflicted upon me during pregnancy!). Right from the day she was born, she seems to do her utmost to fit in around everyone else's needs and plans. For instance (damn... been reading BallFiend too many Mr Men books again - I hate the way they always use the phrase 'for instance' over and over again!):

I went into labour at about 5.00 am on a Monday morning (7 September). A nice slow and gentle start with very mild contractions, about 10 mins apart. This meant:

• I could just stay in bed and doze until BallFiend woke up at 7.00 am (although I roused DeepSpice at about 5.30 am to tell him I thought I might be in labour), and I didn't need to phone any of my extended family and friends until a much more reasonable hour of 8.00 am.
• A few days earlier, DeepSpice had suggested that if I could manage to give birth on a Monday then he wouldn't have to go into work for the entire week. Another tick for Thumper.
• We were able to arrange for BallFiend to be collected by GrandPaul at lunchtime. I had thought we might have to disappear in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. So a lunchtime departure was perfect - we could explain what was happening and BallFiend could have his afternoon nap at Gran and GrandPaul's house.
• DesignerSis (who works just down the road from my house) could come over during her lunch break and help look after BallFiend while DeepSpice packed the car ready to go to hospital. She also helped time my contractions.

My labour picked up pace around 1.00 pm, contractions around 7 - 5 minutes apart, so...

• we were ready to leave for the hospital at 3.00 pm, thus avoiding peak hour traffic, and
• VolubleK was able to make school pick-up arrangements for her kids and also get to the hospital before peak hour traffic hit.

We arrived at the hospital at 3.40 pm, which meant:

• DeepSpice and VolubleK were easily able to get a space in the car park because the morning shift staff had just finished for the day, and
• it wasn't too late for the hospital staff to place an order for dinner for me.
  

Thumper was born at 4.49 pm. Perfect timing for:

• VolubleK to get home to her family in time for dinner, and
  
• us to have a few visitors later that evening, around 8.00 pm - specifically CutLuce, DesignerMonkey, DesignerSis and Wigward, who had been able to go home after work and have dinner before visiting us.
  

She is also considerate with her feeding and sleeping patterns:

• For her first night 'on the outside', Thumper slept for about 4 or 5 hours, so DeepSpice and I got a decent rest.
• She has continued to do big sleeps almost every night - anywhere from 5 to 9 hours! (But usually about 7 hours, from midnight until 7.00 am).
• Her sleeps tend to coincide with BallFiend's afternoon naps, so we get to have a lie-down as well.
• Her sleeps also tend to coincide with meal times, so we usually get to sit down and eat with BallFiend, or enjoy a meal on our own after we have put BallFiend to bed.
• She is almost always asleep when we are getting BallFiend ready for bed, so he still gets both our full attention during the evening 'wind-down' period.

Other examples of how considerate she is:

• I was about to change her nappy and she did a poo, before I had taken her nappy off. (BallFiend used to wait till the nappy was off and then it would go everywhere!)
• She rarely cries - mostly just if she has tummy pain from wind, which is fair enough!
• She is easy to settle, usually falling asleep on her own in her bassinette.

What a wonder! What a star!
--

Our little mathematician...

BallFiend was examining the construction of his big-earth-beach-ball. He carefully counted the number of seams on the ball and worked out there were six side panels capped by the two circular panels.

"Daddy [DeepSpice], why did they put a circle piece on a hexagon hole?"

He had worked out that where the six panels meet at each end of the ball, they must form a hexagonal hole. Pretty impressive for a three year old!
--

Pop! Hello Thumper!

I'm not pregnant anymore!

Thumper came into the world at 4.49 pm on Monday, 7 September 2009. Weighing in at 3.23 kg and 52 cm in length.
She arrived in a rush, only an hour after I arrived at the family birth centre! (and 12 hours after my labour began at 5.00 am)

We had a nice, straightforward labour and birth... no drugs. Wouldn't have had time anyway! (I even caught the midwives out... they didn't believe I was as far into the labour as I was!)

Extra special thanks to DeepSpice and VolubleK for their support during the labour.
--

Pregnancy update: 40+1

Now that I am officially 'overdue' (by all of one day!), the frequency of 'how much longer till Thumper arrives' speculation has increased exponentially! (Including DesignerSis and CutLuce announcing their ponderings on Facebook.)

StompyDad, on the other hand, seems to have no capacity to keep the due date in mind. He has been asking me for months if Thumper is going to come soon, and every time when I answer "not due for another x months/weeks", he seems surprised. Anyway, today he tells me he is heading up to the mountains for more skiing on Tuesday and will be gone for the rest of the week. Then he was surprised when I mentioned that Thumper will most likely arrive while he is away! "Oh, well I might come back early if Thumper is born during the week then... maybe on Friday."

Gran and GrandPaul are much more date-aware, but are not quite bursting over with enthusiasm for the impending grandchild... at least not as much as they were when I was pregnant with BallFiend. I think they think we are a bit insane for having a second child, when they stopped (at what, in their opinion, is sensible!) at one. Plus, for GrandPaul, birthdays at this time of year interfere with the footy finals.

At the complete other end of the spectrum, CutLuce, DesignerSis and of course VolubleK are incredibly excited and hanging out to meet Thumper! Oh, and BallFiend too seems to be increasingly excited about his baby coming out soon.

Measurements at 40 weeks pregnant:

• Waist: 121 cm
  
• Hips: 112 cm
  
• Weight gain: 12.5 kg
  

Current aches and pains:

• Pelvic instability - still present but not so bad. Main issue is pain in pubis symphosis joint
  
• Deep muscle soreness in my right gluteal muscle and sore sacroiliac joint.
• Very occasional sciatica - very mild (compared to my pregnancy with BallFiend)
  
• movements by Thumper - especially when pushing upwards against the top of my uterus.
  
• Sore skin above my belly button where it is stretched to bursting point.
  
• More strong 'pre-labour' symptoms: cramps (that feel like period pains), low back ache, nausea and braxton hicks contractions... on and off every few days now. Last week, I even had about an hour and a half of contractions that were 5 minutes apart... thought it might be the real deal for a while there.
• Moving my huge carcass anywhere, and especially rolling over in bed! I have no abdominal strength so turning over, sitting up from a lying position, getting in and out of the car, etc. are just about impossible!
  

How to dislodge the lodger? (or 'my superstitious practices for stalling and then inducing labour')

With the due date officially past, I no longer need to keep my legs so tightly crossed. All the worry of a premature birth a few weeks ago seems ridiculous now! Now it is time to turn my mind to enticing Thumper out naturally, rather than focussing on keeping Thumper in. (Especially before hospital protocols kick in and they start on about a 'medical induction'. Ho hum.)

However, I am sure that my state of mind has a lot to do with it. I realised some time ago that 9 September would be a cool birth-date (09/09/2009!) and being only a few days past my official due date, I thought it might be a possibility. As each day passes, I have become more and more 'decided' on this date. To the point where I have now written it on the wall calendar, in my diary, and have added to my 'to do' list "Give birth to our baby!" for tasks due on 9 September. Of course I am going to be really annoyed if Thumper leaves it any longer than this. I will have put up with the discomforts of late pregnancy for nuttin'! (I don't really mean 'for nothing', but we would rather not end up with September 11th as Thumper's birthday.)

I have also been doing some other things to stall labour... including letting some silly superstitions take hold:

• Avoided baking cakes. To entice BallFiend out when he was nine days overdue, I made a very yummy, rich chocolate cake (using Donna Hay recipe) and told everyone it was 'the baby's birthday cake, so the baby will have to be born now'. My hind-waters broke 10 hours later. I now feel confident to get back to baking again. Yum!
  
• Avoided using a particular set of flannelette sheets throughout Winter because they were the sheets we had on our bed when my hind-waters broke at the outset of BallFiend's labour. I am now planning to put these sheets on the bed on 8th September. (Aw, c'mon, they've been washed!)
  
• When practicing our hypnosis script from the hypnobirthing classes, DeepSpice has been including a message that "Thumper will not arrive prematurely".
  

And now, I am doing some things to actively encourage labour...

• Reading as many books as I can manage, because if Thumper arrives, I know I won't get to finish what I start! So every few days, when I start on a new novel and wonder if I am going to get to read the end. Even went to the Library today and borrowed a whole lot more books, knowing that I will most likely be returning them in three weeks time, unread.
  
• Finishing off those last few things on my 'to do before Thumper is born' list, including finishing off my tax return!
  

And of course, simply telling everyone and writing down on calendars and diaries that I will be busy having a baby on Wednesday!
--

Fathers' Day

I had thought Thumper might arrive today for Fathers' Day. But no (or at least, not so far), DeepSpice got to have a somewhat more relaxed Fathers' Day than we might otherwise have had... though no sleep-in: BallFiend was up and about by 7.00 am and because I wasn't, DeepSpice had to get up and do all the parenting solo. Pretty much just like every other day for the past month or so, as the late stage of pregnancy takes its toll on my energy levels.

Poor DeepSpice even had to locate his own Fathers' Day present from BallFiend (which I hadn't gotten around to unpacking from BallFiend's bag after crèche on Friday): a drawing by BallFiend together with a photo of BallFiend, laminated with a fridge magnet stuck on the back. (The carers at crèche are always really good at getting the kids to make presents for us mums and dads for special occasions - Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day, Xmas, etc.) I had also got a present for DeepSpice from BallFiend and me, but hadn't gotten around to wrapping it up. So DeepSpice didn't even get to unwrap that one! Then DeepSpice got his third 'present' of the morning... a pooey nappy courtesy of BallFiend. Followed about half an hour lated by a second pooey nappy! Argh!

After getting BallFiend his (four!) weetbix for breakfast, DeepSpice then had to make his own special Fathers' Day breakfast - he decided to fix himself up with a traditional fry-up: eggs, bacon, toast, fried tomatoes, mushrooms and toast. He also brought me a cup of tea in bed!

The rest of the day was more of the same... I lay around in bed or on the couch with no energy and DeepSpice played with BallFiend, organised lunch for us all and brought in the washing. At about 12.30 pm, I dragged myself to the shower and then we all went out to the local library. Both BallFiend and I needed some new stories to read and we needed to get BallFiend out of the house for a while as well.

Once home again, BallFiend was finally convinced to have 'a rest' in his cot, which turned out to be a 2.5 hour sleep. We woke him at 5.30 pm for dinner (this is not at all unusual for BallFiend - once he is asleep for his nap, he really knows how to nap!). DeepSpice made dinner while I pottered around and took a phone call from VolubleK. Then BallFiend set the table with placemats, knives and forks (with only a tiny bit of help from me... I am always impressed at how well he does this job).

Dinner over, DeepSpice played with BallFiend some more (playing catch and doing 'headers' with the beach ball in our long, long hallway), then got BallFiend ready for bed. We all read some new library books together and then DeepSpice carried BallFiend off to bed (as he does almost every night).

Phew! Hopefully in future years, DeepSpice will get a more traditional Fathers' Day, where he is the one treated to a morning of breakfast in bed, a nice lunch out at a restaurant or something, and no pooey nappies to change!
--

What a charmer!

BallFiend (to CutLuce):

That's a lovely dress. Where did you get it?

Truely! In the midst of playing with the marble run, he looked up at CutLuce and that is what he said... right out of the blue. Bizarre - such an adult comment from a 3 year old! All present (CutLuce, DesignerSis, DeepSpice and me) gaped at him for a moment, before CutLuce was able to respond. (She got the dress at I Want A Bargain.)

She reckons BallFiend must have been watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. But I can say with absolute certainty that he has never laid eyes on Carson Kressley!
--

Incentivisation

Here's how to motivate me to do my 2009 tax return... and especially to get it done before Thumper is born:

Chocolate-coated strawberries by DeepSpice.

Yum!
--

Thumper is toying with me

Getting lots of so-called 'pre-labour' these days... not surprising given I am 2 days away from official due date. (Even as I write this post now, I am getting BH on and off all the time!)

Mostly it has been just painless braxton hicks (BH) contractions, but last night I woke at 1.00 am with a really strong BH that lasted for ages (probably half an hour) accompanied by low-level cramping across the lower part of my abdomen. Eventually I went back to sleep, only to wake at 3.00 am with even more BH and cramping. These cramps were really strong and I had a vague sense of them increasing in intensity periodically, so I started timing how far apart: around 5 minutes!

My first thought was "this is it! I have woken up in proper labour!" But I wasn't sure, so I kept monitoring over the next 45 minutes or so and made DeepSpice rub my lower back (which was also a bit achy). I needed to wee about 4 times during that 45 minutes! (Apparently another sign of labour.)

By 4.00 am, I was deliberating about whether it was time to ring the Family Birth Centre (FBC) at the hospital and call in the troops (ie. my birth support people - VolubleK and MidwifeS, and CutLuce to mind BallFiend). DeepSpice was completely (though understandably) hopeless - he was too-half asleep to keep rubbing my back, let alone help me to reach a decision. But in the midst of my indecisiveness, I got really tired and just fell asleep again. Woke briefly at 6.22 am (I looked at the clock!) when I heard BallFiend call out once (probably just talking in his sleep) then went straight back to sleep again.

Both DeepSpice and I woke at about 7.30 am, again due to BallFiend calling out, but this time persistently enough to wake us properly. I felt pretty bloody awful, but mainly from lack of sleep. The regular contractions had gone, leaving in their wake a continuous low-level of crampiness. So I realised that the 3.00 am event was yet more pre-labour. Sigh.

At 8.30 am, I rang the FBC and discussed my labour-like signs with a midwife. She said "it sounds like things are 'stewing' and you will probably go into labour soon... in the next few days". I was able to reschedule my appointment (which was originally for tomorrow, Sept. 4th) to later that afternoon so I could go in and get checked out... mainly for my own peace of mind. I made DeepSpice take Carer's Leave so he could look after BallFiend in the morning and drive me to the appointment. (He had been planning to take leave on Friday anyway, so taking it a day early was not really a problem.)

This worked out quite well as we were able to take BallFiend with us to see the 'host-a-bul' where Thumper will be born, and let him watch the midwife do the routine checks (blood pressure, measure my belly size and listen to Thumper's heartbeat). Not that he was particularly intrigued. Mainly he just liked the toys there - in particular a toy truck which had balls enclosed in it.

Other highlights of the trip to FBC today:

• The drive to the hospital only took about 20 minutes (despite getting stuck behind an annoying truck for half the journey).
• We got a 1 hour parking spot straight away! And it was free! And it was within the actual hospital grounds! There is a tiny little carpark area just near the Emergency drop off point with about 10 spaces, and we got the last one! Must be a miracle.

Anyway, the midwife said that Thumper is still head down and in a good position (ie. not posterior thankfully!) although the head is not 'engaged' (which means it is still 'floating' over my pelvis) but that this is normal for a second baby... apparently they often don't engage until during labour. My blood pressure is normal, baby is measuring average size for gestation and heartbeat is fine.

So, now I return to the Twillight Zone and continue to wait, wait, wait...
--

Twillight Zone

With a few days to go (officially three), I feel I am in a weird sort of limbo... Thumper could arrive any day and anytime now. Literally. Especially since allegedly second and subsequent babies tend to be born more quickly (ie. after a labour of only a few hours).

My official birth plan, which is on file at the hospital, is 3 pages long, complete with instructions about how I would prefer things to happen (eg. not whisking Thumper away for weighing and bathing straight after the birth). Most of it is contingency plans in case I am transferred out of the Family Birth Centre. I feel quite confident that if all goes well and I birth in the FBC with midwifery-led care, I won't really need a birth plan at all. But if I end up in the birthing suites under medical care, it is much more important to spell things out in the birth plan. This is the important lesson I learned from my birth experience with BallFiend.

However, my unofficial birth plan is:

• go into labour when DeepSpice is home with me... probably sometime in the evening or overnight is preferable;
  
• have a labour of around 5 hours (enough time for natural endorphins to kick in, but not so long that I am too worn out);
• give birth on 9th September, 2009, preferably at either 9.00 am or 9.00 pm (so Thumper's birthdate is 09.09.2009!)
• have a pain-free labour and an intact perineum at the end... oh, and a healthy baby, of course!
  

It is weird to think that in just a few hours from now, I could have a baby in my arms, and yet at this moment, I have no indication that labour is imminent.

So as each day goes by, I feel like I am going deeper and deeper into a twillight zone, where my life is both on hold (and waiting for Thumper to throw our world into chaos for a few weeks... months... years!) and yet I am getting on with my normal day to day activities (as best I can when I feel like I have a lead bowling ball lodged between my legs).
--

Food glorious food

There is a long list of things that pregnant women are advised not to eat, due to the risk of getting food poisoning from Listeria. Here are the things I'm really looking forward to eating again, once I am no longer pregnant:

• Smoked salmon
• Soft cheeses, like Brie
• Fried egg with runny yolk (as part of a gourmet breakfast: DeepSpice take note!)
• things with mayonnaise... potato salad, chicken & mayo sandwiches, etc.
  
• Chocolate mousse

And of course, I am really looking forward to having a glass of wine!
--

Pregnancy update: 38+1

Well, here I am at the tail end of my second (and final!) pregnancy... just under two weeks to go (until the official due date that is - Thumper may of course choose a different birthdate). I am now 38 weeks pregnant.

Measurements at 38 weeks pregnant:

• Waist: 116 cm
  
• Hips: 108 cm
  
• Weight gain: 11 kg
  

Current aches and pains:

• Pelvic instability still present, although weekly chiropractic treatments seems to help a lot.
  
• Still have the deep muscle soreness in my right gluteal muscle and a sore sacroiliac joint.
• Sciatica (as was the case when I was pregnant with BallFiend, it has started up in the last 2 - 3 weeks of pregnancy); thankfully I have only had one or two really severe bouts - mostly it has been mild
  
• big squirming movements by Thumper (but not getting kicked much anymore - must have run out of room in there!)
• a little bit of reflux again (something I haven't had for many weeks)
• some serious 'pre-labour' symptoms. I have had two really major bouts, on Thursday 12th and Saturday 15th August. Starting from about 10 am and lasting all day until I went to bed at night, I had cramps like period pain, low back ache, nausea and braxton hicks contractions. Thought I might really be in labour! But since then, nothing so dramatic. A bit more of the same now and then, but thankfully to a much lesser extent!

Pros and Cons of late pregnancy

A friend, who has two kids, said to me a few weeks back "third trimester pregnancy has very little to recommend it" and whilst I am very much inclined to agree, the thought of life with a demanding newborn that reminds me that "fourth trimester pregnancy" (ie. the 6-week post-partum period) also has its cons! So here is my list of pros and cons of late pregnancy:

Cons of having a baby in utero:

• a big, uncomfortable belly that gets in the way of everything!
• numerous bodily aches and pains (see above)
  
• toilet breaks 2 - 3 times a night and even more than this during the day
• constipation
• various other bodily functions and events that I won't spell out in detail as that would be TMI
  
• limited wardrobe - have worn the same 5 - 10 items of clothing for months on end now
• can't trim my toenails
• can't tie my shoelaces
• extremely hard to get up from the floor if I squat down to pick something up
  
• extremely hard to sit up from a lying down position
• can't sleep on my back
• can't sleep on my tummy
• can't sleep on my side for long periods as this creates pressure soreness in my hip
• can't sleep, full stop (due to discomforts, the need to wee three times a night and waking up hungry at 4.00 am)
  
• need mountains of pillows in bed to prop up my belly and legs which makes turning over a nuisance
  
• can't sit, can't stand, can't kneel; no position is comfortable for any length of time. (I reckon this equates to torture - constantly suffering discomfort or pain!)
• can't eat favourite foods, such as smoked salmon and brie, due to risk of listeria
• no drinking alcohol
• suppressed immune system = frequent colds, sore throats, etc.
• always feeling tired and often very crabby
  
• the nesting instinct kicks in and I want to clean, tidy, declutter and organise, but am too tired to do so and can't shift the furniture anyway
• increasingly more frequent interactions with hospital and related health care providers: visits to midwives, pathology, chiropractor, etc.
• driving is awkward (and increasing dangerous as I feel more and more vague)
• being the subject of speculation and often a target for 'well-intentioned' advice (though thankfully much less so because Thumper is my second baby)

Pros of having a baby in utero:

• in the uterus no one can hear you the baby scream cry
• minimal sleep deprivation (the sleep deprivation due to pregnancy aches and pains is nothing compared to that caused by a newborn baby!)
• there are no nappies to change
• no need to spend hours settling baby to sleep
• can eat a meal without having to hold baby on my lap at the same time
• can eat a meal without having to get up throughout it to attend to baby's needs
• can do lots of other things with out being interrupted - drink a hot cup of tea, read a newspaper, have a conversation with DeepSpice, etc. (well, in reality I do get interrupted by BallFiend quite a lot, but not nearly as much as he used to do when he was a baby)
• feeding Thumper is easy - no breastfeeding related aches and pains (such as sore shoulders, cracked nipples, blocked ducts, etc.) and (down the track) no 'solids' to prepare, spoon feed then clean off the walls and floor
  
• don't have to cart baby off to the maternal health nurse for frequent weigh-ins and check ups, which then lead to worries about weight gains
• can leave the house without having to pack a nappy bag (still have to pack one for BallFiend of course, but this is easy these days - he doesn't need much stuff compared with what a baby requires)
  
• can go on an outing with minimal planning - just up and go
  
• only have to load one child into the car (and BallFiend can climb in himself now)
• can devote my full attention to BallFiend when we are spending time together - he doesn't have to compete with another child for my attention
• no post-partum aches and pains (my nether-regions are yet to undergo the rigours of childbirth)
• have an excuse to eat as many chocolate biscuits as I want (ie. I am storing fat which will get used up when I breastfeed!)
• I look pregnant because I am pregnant; as compared with those first few months post-partum when women look pregnant because their bodies as slowing returning back to normal after 9 months of carrying a baby. (Except for celebrities of course, who seem to have a strange desire to erase any evidence that their body has just carried a baby for nine months and who have a team of personal trainers, chefs and nannies at their disposal.)
• I am still the centre of attention as those around me ponder the miracle of life evident in my ever-expanding belly; they are concerned about my welfare and wonder about what Thumper will be like. Once on the outside, Thumper will be the centre of attention, and I will merely be Thumper's mobile life-support device.
  

There is one more thing, which is both a pro and a con: being pregnant puts life into perspective. Things that used to matter a lot don't seem so important (like getting projects at work done on time, having a career, keeping up with news and current affairs) but conversely things that shouldn't matter so much tend to get blown out of proportion (little things, like staying on top of housework and having everything 'ready' for when the baby comes).

So, as uncomfortable as I am right now, I am not wishing for this pregnancy to end. I don't not want Thumper to make a rush for the exit, because I know that no matter how hard things seem now, they are going to be much harder once I am a suffering sleep deprivation that only a newborn baby can create!
--

Ball Magnet

It seems that where ever he goes, BallFiend's love obsession with balls gets noticed and people can't help themselves but give him a ball. I wish they wouldn't! We are running out of places to store them all!

For instance: a few months ago, we were in a shop and BallFiend spotted a display of rubber balls. He was examining each intently, then playing with them all around the store, while DeepSpice and I were looking the items we had come to purchase. Anyway, the manager saw BallFiend's delight and said to him:

"that is the last ball of that type left [it featured the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles breaking through a brick wall] and I want to get rid of it anyway, so would BallFiend like to have it to keep?"

Stupid question. So we left the shop with our purchases and another ball for the 'ballpit' in BallFiend's bedroom.

And, for instance: this morning, DeepSpice took BallFiend down to the local oval to watch the under 8s playing soccer. As it turned out, BallFiend wasn't interested in watching the kids playing soccer, but he was thrilled to see so many balls everywhere, laying all around the edge of the oval. Apparently he ran from one to the next, examining each, and calling for DeepSpice to follow along behind him as he moved onto the next, then the next.

At half time, BallFiend went out on the field and kicked a ball into the goal a few times. He had trouble understanding why he had to leave the field when the game resumed.

At the end, when it was time to pack up, BallFiend was eager to help pick up soccer balls and put them away in the big mesh bags. DeepSpice said the coach was so impressed that he gave BallFiend a yellow soccer ball to take home. Apparently there were at least 50 balls around the place, so one wasn't going to be missed anyway.

Whilst it was good entertainment for a morning, DeepSpice told me hopes that BallFiend doesn't want to go and play soccer when he is older, mainly due to the presence of less-desirable traits amongst some of the parents. In particular, the creepy coach who was wearing skin-tight lyrca leggings and clearly had no underwear underneath!

And thus, in hindsight I realise I should have given BallFiend the moniker of "BallMagnet" for this blog...
--

Memories...

Today is our anniversary - DeepSpice and I, that is. Since I am too tired and pregnant (38 weeks tomorrow!) to be bothered going out for a fancy dinner or even to make a special night in, I am taking a trip down memory lane instead...

On this day 14 years ago, DeepSpice and I were just young, foolish, idealistic lefties, mucking about together at my sharehouse in Helen St, Northcote. It was August 21st, 1995 and one week after the La Trobe Uni student protest when we occupied the administration building for a couple of hours. DeepSpice and I were sitting on FreeloadingPhill's sofabed (which I should point out he obtained for free from his grandmother's estate... he was a freeloader even back in those days) watching TV, when the magic began.

Actually the magic really began two years earlier in 1993, after I asked DeepSpice to help me with a Music assignment. With about 3 hours until the assignment was due, I went to his room at college and demanded his help because he had done the same Music subject the previous year and I didn't like the subject anyway, so just wanted to get through it as quickly as possible. I should point out that in the end, DeepSpice was no help, as (a) he couldn't find his old assignment, (b) he was hung-over and still asleep at midday, and (c) he failed first year entirely. Anyway, this non-musical interlude led on to an increased degree of 'hanging out' together. Until, a few weeks into our fledging 'thing', I got glandular fever and was sick for about 5 weeks. Then life just sort of moved on. I got caught up in all the bigger, better things to do as a second-year uni student, and although I stayed friends with DeepSpice, I held back on getting too involved with him, lest a serious relationship interfere with all the other possibilities that are open to a second-year uni student!

Anyway, two years on and there we were, somehow both in the right place at the right time, unencumbered by romantic commitments to other people (DeepSpice more recently so than I, having just been dumped by someone about a week before). And the rest, as 'they' say, is history.


Also on this day 5 years ago, DeepSpice and I had a wedding ceremony with about 100 of our nearest and dearest family and friends. I should point out that we chose not to get married (much to StompyDad's disapproval) because we didn't see the need. We are both atheists, and we didn't see any reason for a civil marriage either: we already had a sizable home loan together which we considered was enough evidence of our commitment to each other. What we wanted was to celebrate our (then 9-year) relationship, and to ensure that all of our relatives understood that we were in a relationship for life, and not that we were just the boyfriend/girlfriend of the moment. (It gets really annoying after 9 years, when extended family invite one of us to a family-do, like a wedding, but not invite the other because they just didn't remember/recognise our relationship). Oh, and we wanted to have a party, of course! And by cleverly scheduling our wedding on the August 21st, we ensured that we wouldn't have two different dates to remember.

So anyway, we did the wedding thing, and although there were quite a lot of good things that happened in the course of the big event, I can honestly say that I would never, ever do such a thing again. It became a Frankenstein's Monster, turning into something that was completely not what we wanted. It seems that as soon as one ascribes the word 'wedding' to an event, it becomes loaded with generations of social meaning, layered with ritual and is quickly taken over by others, who are eager to relive (or perhaps re-enact) their own weddings... and this time they get to do so from the position of being the ones to slather-on the meaning and ritual, rather than being the ones subjected to it! (I guess if BallFiend or Thumper ever have a wedding, DeepSpice and I will have the chance to get our own back! Mwah-ha-ha-ha!)

The choice of date didn't really work out so well either - despite organising our wedding for the date of our relationship's anniversary, I still get mixed up anyway and think that our anniversary is August 15th. I am also hopeless at remembering how many years it has been. Thereby putting an end to the idea that it is always the male in a relationship who forgets the anniversary.

However, all that really matters is that DeepSpice and I are still happily and lovingly together after all these years, In addition, we have spawned progeny, thereby contining the over-population of the planet... and that should make those religious freaks happy. And even if it doesn't who cares! We are happy... BallFiend is a delight -- more so every day as he develops -- and I am sure that Thumper will be too. I just hope that this time next year, we are dining out somewhere special, with a nice bottle of plonk on the table and the kids safely home with a babysitter!
--