Winning

The aim is to lose pieces. You can even get the other player to take them for you!

 - Ballfiend to Thumper, on how to play chess against him.

Groucho

Thumper: Look BallFiend!

From the other end of the house I hear peals of hysterical laughter.

BallFiend: Oh Thumper! 

More laughter.

BallFiend: Mum! Thumper's drawn a moustache on her face.

Me: Thumper, why did you do that?

Thumper: I wanted to make BallFiend laugh.

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