Breathe!

Thumper: "Dad, I know the difference between suffocating and drowning."

And she went on to give a very accurate and descriptive explanation. Macabre little freak. 

--

Visionary

"Dad, how come your eyes are apart but you can see things together?"

- Thumper

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About Mum

There is a thing that's been going around on Facebook recently where you ask you kid(s) a bunch of questions about their mum. So here's how mine responded...

What is something Mum always says to you?

Thumper (age 5 yrs, 9 mths): I love you.

BallFiend (age 8 yrs, 10 mths): I love you.

What makes Mum happy?

T: Being nice. Chocolate.

B: Me.

What makes Mum sad?

T: When I get angry at you... like you feel a bit, like, embarrassed.

B: Me being stupid and annoying and disobedient.

How does Mum make you laugh?

T: Say funny stuff.

B: Tell jokes.

What was Mum like as a child?

T: Little.

B: I don't know.

How old is Mum?

T: Fourteen.

B: Forty.

How tall is Mum?

T: About as tall as the door [whilst pointing to the door].

B: About a metre and a half.

What is Mum's favourite thing to do?

T: iPad... play the fishy-lolly game. [That'd be Candy Crush Saga.]

B: Probably be happy.

What does Mum do when you're not here?

T: Go out... ABA meeting. Cheekily, sneakily go out.

B: Usually, if I am not here... something like work.

[I think they both missed the part of the question 'when you're not here'!]

If Mum became famous what would it be for?

T: Getting lots of money.

B: How well you cook stuff. You cook really good bread and cakes and stuff.

What is Mum good at?

T: Yoga, 'cause you've done it lots of times.

B: Cooking 'cause of your good cooking skills 'cause you make really good food.

What is Mum not good at?

T: Trying to hide in small places 'cause you're quite big.

B: Playing Minecraft 'cause you've only played it about once.

What is Mum's job?

T: Work... going to work. To get money. Work on computers.

B: Umm... I don't know. Doing phone calls and stuff I guess.

What makes you proud of Mum?

T: You're very brave.

B: That you love me.

What's Mum's favourite food?

T: Ice cream.

B: Chocolate.

[Chocolate is the correct answer.]

What do you and Mum do together?

T: Go out places... the animals, the zoo.

B: Happy, fun stuff... Go to school together. Ride bikes together. Go to Phillip Island.

[Umm, no Thumper, we haven't been to the zoo in well over a year. We did however just return from a long weekend at Phillip Island today.]

How are you and Mum the same?

T: We have both got light skin.

B: Probably that we sort of, like, have the same colour skin. 

How are you and Mum different?

T: We don't have the same hair colour.

B: You don't play Minecraft very much and I play it quite a lot. Also different clothes. Girl and boy... so basically male and female.

If your Mum was a cartoon character who would she be?

T: Pikachu.

B: Road Runner

[Huh? Huh!?]

How do you know Mum loves you?

T: 'Cause you say it all the time.

B: Because you say it. 

What does Mum like best about Dad?

T: He's sometimes kind to you.

B: That he loves you. 

[Thumper, 'sometimes' is a bit of an understatement!]

Where is Mum's favourite place to go?

T: Movies.

B: Home.

[BallFiend is correct. Thumper is way off - I hardly ever go to the movies - definitely not a favourite place to go.]

How old was Mum when she had you?

T: Ten.

B: [after a few minutes pause while doing some calculations on his fingers/in his head] 33 or 32.

-- 

Sarcastic things

BallFiend: What's for dinner, Mum?

Me: Things on a plate.

BallFiend: That's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very... informative.

Me: That's very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very sarcastic.

--

Mother's Day 2015

Mother's day card, 2015, showing Thumper's developing writing skills during her first year at school. (Photos taken February 2016).

I love mummy
cos
she
is
awesome
I love mummy

Mummy is [cro]
of mum
[be y] awesome
hooray hooray
hooray hooray
hooray hooray

--

Carrot sticks

"Thumper, did you say you are a carrot-eating twig, or a twig-eating carrot?"

- BallFiend

--

Mind-body connection

"How can your brain trick your body when your brain is part of your body?"
- Thumper

Thumper asked this question the day after we had been to the supermarket and BallFiend had walked past tubs of peanut butter on the shelf. He started coughing and said he thought he was having an allergic reaction (he is actually allergic to peanuts). I explained how our brains can think that something is happening in our bodies and that can cause the feeling that it is happening. Obviously Thumper was listening carefully at the time.
--

Anatomical difference

"Ouch! That hit me where my testicles are supposed to be."

- Thumper, whilst rough-housing with BallFiend.

--

Ouch, that smarts!

"Dad! If you don't let me have a chocolate, I'm going to punch you in the testicles!"
-- Thumper

Channelling Dame Slap

Coversation over breakfast this morning...

BallFiend: "Thumper, if I have ten bananas and I take two bananas in my lunchbox to school how many bananas have I eaten?"

Thumper looks puzzled, as do I.

BallFiend: "...so I take two bananas to school every day for five days. So how many bananas do I have?"

Thumper: "ummm...."

Me: "Ten?"

BallFiend: "Yes."

Me: "what inspired you to ask Thumper that question?"

BallFiend: "I'm helping Thumper get ready for starting prep."

--

Harmonic dissonance

"Thumper, could you please sing something else!" pleaded BallFiend as Thumper began yet another medly of Frozen songs.

"Alright" Thumper responded, "like Party Rock Anthem?"

--

Kinder than you

We were in the kitchen, baking her birthday cake to take to Kindergarten tomorrow (I even let her lick the bowl) when Thumper came out with this...

"Mum when I'm a grown-up and I have my own child, I'm going to be kinder." said Thumper.

I was a bit confused. "Do you mean you're going to be kind to your child?"

"No! I'm going to be kinder."

"Kinder than what?" I asked, still puzzled.

"Kinder than you are to me."

Ouch.

--

Food handling

Thumper came in our bedroom at some horribly early hour this morning: "Can I have some Nutrigrain? I've had my breakfast."

We have a rule that the kids have to eat a 'proper' breakfast, like weetbix or porridge, before they can have junk like Nutrigrain.

Me (sleepily): Yes.

Thumper: Can I use my hands? I haven't picked my nose.

--

Postscript: About an hour later Thumper called out, "I'm going to have breakfast now". Cheeky child hadn't actually had her weetbix first.

--

Measuring space-time

BallFiend: Mum, are light years measures of time or length?

That's my boy.
--

BallFiend's art folio, terms 1 & 2

This semester, BallFiend's artwork is heavily influenced by all the Captain Underpants books he has been reading, as well as all the Angry Birds games he's been playing plus a dash of the Trash Packs...

Front cover of the sketch book

Foot creature, with TNT

Imaginary landscape

A missile being shot into a worm hole.
"I haven't finished writing 'missile' on the missile yet" says BallFiend. 

The crown jewels (inspired by the Tower of London book he got whilst in London earlier this year).

Back cover of the sketch book.

--

Thumper's star-drawing technique

Thumper: Mum. how do you draw a star again?
Me: Well one way is to do two triangles, one over the top of the other...
Thumper: No. I'm going to do a hexagon...
She draws a five-sided hexagon (otherwise known as a pentagon).
Thumper: Then you do this...
She adds a small triangle to each side of the pentagon and voilà - a star!

I can't help but think that's a little bit clever.
--

Ready Mr Music

DeepSpice, inspired during our last visit to home of FunkyOrganMan, has rigged up our house with Apple airport express devices so he can pipe music from his computer at one end of the house through the various stereos in other rooms. 

Usually this system works perfectly. But on this particular afternoon, the music suddenly stopped. Moments later we heard Thumper's voice calling out "Daddy! I've worked out how to turn off the computer!"

--

Thumper's artwork archive - Mother's Day 2014

Thumper made me a beautiful picture as a Mother's day gift. The artwork is from 2014, but we didn't get around to photographing it until February 2016 (oops!):  

--

Mother's Day 2014

This is the mother's day gift that Thumper made for me at kinder (2014).
(Photo not taken till Feb, 2016.)



--

Cigars of the Pharaohs

BallFiend is completely into reading Tintin at the moment. Most recently he read "Cigars of the Pharaohs". When I asked him, "What is 'Cigars of the Pharaohs' about?" he corrected me and said, "NO! It's called..."and restated the title, but pronouncing it as sigh-gars of the para-doff.

He refused to allow DeepSpice or me to correct his pronounciation. Which is fine with me... I reckon BallFiend's way makes it sound like the title of  a Doctor Who episode and I like Doctor Who better than Tintin anyway.

--