Stackin' it on

It is three weeks since Thumper graced us with her presence... three weeks that have gone by so fast!

Thumper had another weigh-in this morning: the 'two-week old' developmental assessment for newborns (one week late), where the local Maternal and Child Health (MCH) Nurse weighs, measures, pokes and prods Thumper and simultaneously (though more subtly) assesses my competence as a parent. Compared to the frequency that BallFiend was weighed and measured (every few days or so it felt like!), the local MCH nurses don't seem very obsessed interested in Thumper's growth. Guess they figure if I didn't stuff up BallFiend too badly, I must know what I am doing this time around.

Anyway, we both 'passed' with flying colours:

• Thumper has put on a 780 g since she was 4 days old (that's over 45 g per day). Proof that mum's milk is super juice!
• Strangely though, Thumper has shrunk a little, measuring 51.7 cm in length (compared with 52 cm at birth). According to NurseVirginia, this can be explained by the fact that 'those midwives in the hospitals don't know how to measure babies'. Another factor might be that it was a student midwife who weighed and measured Thumper in the hospital.
• Whilst Thumper still has a teeny, tiny head, it has grown 5 cm in circumference since her birth 3 weeks ago: now 38 cm.
  
• As neither DeepSpice or I have dropped, drowned or broken the baby (as yet), there is no need to call in the child protection people.
• Everything else is normal, normal, normal.

On the home front, Thumper is a star-baby... does everything just how the textbooks say she should...

• Feeding: feeds every three to four hours during the day (and sometimes even less often if I don't wake her!) and overnight has a feed around 10.00 pm, then another sometime between 2.00 am - 4.00 am, then has her first feed for the morning around 8.00 - 9.00 am. She feeds quickly - around 5 - 10 minutes per side.
  
• Sleeping: overnight, sleeps between 4 - 6 hours at a stretch, occasionally longer (one night she slept from midnight until I woke her at 8.45 am!) and in the daytime she sleeps anywhere from 2 - 4 hours at a time.
• Settling: almost always settles herself to sleep if we place her in her cot when she is drowsy. (Complete opposite to BallFiend who we conditioned from birth to require rocking to sleep in someone's arms or breastfeeding to sleep.)

The only difficulty is with Thumper's reflux which really seems to bother her. She does the normal baby burping and possetting in the first 15 minutes after a feed. But then an hour later (and once as long as two and a half hours later) she vomits very forcefully (we're talking projective milk-spew out the nose!). It obviously causes her distress - she screams and her face contorts in pain. If she is asleep when this happens, it wakes her up. So we are currently debating about whether to take her to the doctor to see if any medication is recommended, or just wait it out and see if she grows out of it in a few weeks/months.

Thumper just after a reflux-out-the-nose episode.

It is really nice to have a baby at home again - and I am making sure I take lots of time to enjoy the experience (since this is it, there ain't no more!). In hindsight, I am realising that I didn't really get much time to enjoy BallFiend's early days, because I was so sleep deprived and in pain when breastfeeding. Whilst we loved having BallFiend as a baby (and continue to love him of course!), it was hard to enjoy the experience at the time because we were so tired and busy learning how to be parents. It is so completely different this time... it is wonderful! I feel very blessed!

My advice to any would-be parent: have your second child first.
--

My shitty day

Some days, you just look back and think: why did I bother?

Wake up at 7.00 am to the sounds of BallFiend. Still tired after getting up to feed Thumper at 4.00 am. My body is still set to 'zombie mode' as I struggle through the morning routine - breakfasts, showers, dressing kids, dressing ourselves, changing nappies, dishes, etc. Thank goodness DeepSpice is still on leave - I cannot begin to imagine how I am going to manage once he goes back to work.

We attempt to leave the house by 10.30 am with entire family (DeepSpice, BallFiend, Thumper and me) in time to get to a walk in the park in Carlton with our local ABA group, which starts at 11.00 am. BallFiend throws a tantum:

"I don't want to go out." he whines.
"OK, you can stay here then, and we will go out without you." I reply.
"NO! I want to come."
"OK you can come too."
"NOOO!! I don't want to come."
(repeat for about 15 minutes)

Finally at 11.00 am, we are all in the car, strapped in and ready to go - running late, but still time to get there and catch up with the others.

The car feels strange as we drive off - like there is something stuck under it. (Strangely my first thought was that it might be a dead body!) DeepSpice gets out to look. Front driver-side tyre is flat. DeepSpice changes tyre with BallFiend supervising. Thumper waits in the car.

At 11.20 am we are on our way (stopping off at a mechanic's garage to inflate the spare tyre that is now on the front driver-side wheel). I phone up to find out where the walkers are up to. It starts to rain and the ABA group leader confirms that it is raining in Carlton too. The walk is abandoned and we arrange to meet the group in a cafe opposite the park.

Arrive at the cafe. No parking anywhere close. DeepSpice drops me and the kids off, then leaves to find a parking space. 5 metres from the cafe door, BallFiend decides to have another tantrum. This time he wants to ride in the pram, not walk. Eventually I get the three of us inside. The ABA group is there so I sit BallFiend at a table and get him some lunch. DeepSpice arrives and orders us hot chocolates.

When it is time to leave, BallFiend throws another tantrum about not wanting to leave. About 15 minutes later, we finally get him out the door.

We drive the car up to our regular tyre shop in Brunswick. Bad news: tyre cannot be repaired. Worse news: The tyre-guy reckons that our tyre was deliberately slashed because the puncture is on the side-wall near the wheel rim ("unless you drove into a really sharp curve in the past few days, it was done deliberately"). But also some good news: they have an identical tyre in stock so we can just buy one, and don't need to buy a matched pair. I breastfeed Thumper at the front of the shop while the tyre is replaced. At least there are no girlie magazines or calendars on the wall.

$90.00 later we are on our way home. It is 2.00pm and still raining on and off. BallFiend is annoyed that he didn't get to the playground as had been planned. Another tantrum to reinforce the point. We get home and take BallFiend to his cot for his afternoon nap but it is very late so he won't sleep. Therefore I don't get an afternoon nap either. We get BallFiend up and DeepSpice takes him out to a playground for a while.

I attempt to do some housework and prepare dinner, but then have to stop to feed Thumper. So when DeepSpice and BallFiend get home, nothing is ready. BallFiend is overtired and doesn't want to eat anyway. We battle through an I-don't-want-any-dinner tantrum, an I-don't-want-to-get-ready-for-bed tantrum, then an I-don't-want-to-go-to-bed tantrum. At last, he is in bed and we can relax to the distant sounds of screaming as the last of the tantrum storm fades out and gives way to sleep.
--

So considerate!

Thumper is now 12 days old and we are all settling into life in a four-person family quite well.

I have to commend her on how very considerate she is (despite the aches and pains she inflicted upon me during pregnancy!). Right from the day she was born, she seems to do her utmost to fit in around everyone else's needs and plans. For instance (damn... been reading BallFiend too many Mr Men books again - I hate the way they always use the phrase 'for instance' over and over again!):

I went into labour at about 5.00 am on a Monday morning (7 September). A nice slow and gentle start with very mild contractions, about 10 mins apart. This meant:

• I could just stay in bed and doze until BallFiend woke up at 7.00 am (although I roused DeepSpice at about 5.30 am to tell him I thought I might be in labour), and I didn't need to phone any of my extended family and friends until a much more reasonable hour of 8.00 am.
• A few days earlier, DeepSpice had suggested that if I could manage to give birth on a Monday then he wouldn't have to go into work for the entire week. Another tick for Thumper.
• We were able to arrange for BallFiend to be collected by GrandPaul at lunchtime. I had thought we might have to disappear in the middle of the night without saying goodbye. So a lunchtime departure was perfect - we could explain what was happening and BallFiend could have his afternoon nap at Gran and GrandPaul's house.
• DesignerSis (who works just down the road from my house) could come over during her lunch break and help look after BallFiend while DeepSpice packed the car ready to go to hospital. She also helped time my contractions.

My labour picked up pace around 1.00 pm, contractions around 7 - 5 minutes apart, so...

• we were ready to leave for the hospital at 3.00 pm, thus avoiding peak hour traffic, and
• VolubleK was able to make school pick-up arrangements for her kids and also get to the hospital before peak hour traffic hit.

We arrived at the hospital at 3.40 pm, which meant:

• DeepSpice and VolubleK were easily able to get a space in the car park because the morning shift staff had just finished for the day, and
• it wasn't too late for the hospital staff to place an order for dinner for me.
  

Thumper was born at 4.49 pm. Perfect timing for:

• VolubleK to get home to her family in time for dinner, and
  
• us to have a few visitors later that evening, around 8.00 pm - specifically CutLuce, DesignerMonkey, DesignerSis and Wigward, who had been able to go home after work and have dinner before visiting us.
  

She is also considerate with her feeding and sleeping patterns:

• For her first night 'on the outside', Thumper slept for about 4 or 5 hours, so DeepSpice and I got a decent rest.
• She has continued to do big sleeps almost every night - anywhere from 5 to 9 hours! (But usually about 7 hours, from midnight until 7.00 am).
• Her sleeps tend to coincide with BallFiend's afternoon naps, so we get to have a lie-down as well.
• Her sleeps also tend to coincide with meal times, so we usually get to sit down and eat with BallFiend, or enjoy a meal on our own after we have put BallFiend to bed.
• She is almost always asleep when we are getting BallFiend ready for bed, so he still gets both our full attention during the evening 'wind-down' period.

Other examples of how considerate she is:

• I was about to change her nappy and she did a poo, before I had taken her nappy off. (BallFiend used to wait till the nappy was off and then it would go everywhere!)
• She rarely cries - mostly just if she has tummy pain from wind, which is fair enough!
• She is easy to settle, usually falling asleep on her own in her bassinette.

What a wonder! What a star!
--

Our little mathematician...

BallFiend was examining the construction of his big-earth-beach-ball. He carefully counted the number of seams on the ball and worked out there were six side panels capped by the two circular panels.

"Daddy [DeepSpice], why did they put a circle piece on a hexagon hole?"

He had worked out that where the six panels meet at each end of the ball, they must form a hexagonal hole. Pretty impressive for a three year old!
--

Pop! Hello Thumper!

I'm not pregnant anymore!

Thumper came into the world at 4.49 pm on Monday, 7 September 2009. Weighing in at 3.23 kg and 52 cm in length.
She arrived in a rush, only an hour after I arrived at the family birth centre! (and 12 hours after my labour began at 5.00 am)

We had a nice, straightforward labour and birth... no drugs. Wouldn't have had time anyway! (I even caught the midwives out... they didn't believe I was as far into the labour as I was!)

Extra special thanks to DeepSpice and VolubleK for their support during the labour.
--

Pregnancy update: 40+1

Now that I am officially 'overdue' (by all of one day!), the frequency of 'how much longer till Thumper arrives' speculation has increased exponentially! (Including DesignerSis and CutLuce announcing their ponderings on Facebook.)

StompyDad, on the other hand, seems to have no capacity to keep the due date in mind. He has been asking me for months if Thumper is going to come soon, and every time when I answer "not due for another x months/weeks", he seems surprised. Anyway, today he tells me he is heading up to the mountains for more skiing on Tuesday and will be gone for the rest of the week. Then he was surprised when I mentioned that Thumper will most likely arrive while he is away! "Oh, well I might come back early if Thumper is born during the week then... maybe on Friday."

Gran and GrandPaul are much more date-aware, but are not quite bursting over with enthusiasm for the impending grandchild... at least not as much as they were when I was pregnant with BallFiend. I think they think we are a bit insane for having a second child, when they stopped (at what, in their opinion, is sensible!) at one. Plus, for GrandPaul, birthdays at this time of year interfere with the footy finals.

At the complete other end of the spectrum, CutLuce, DesignerSis and of course VolubleK are incredibly excited and hanging out to meet Thumper! Oh, and BallFiend too seems to be increasingly excited about his baby coming out soon.

Measurements at 40 weeks pregnant:

• Waist: 121 cm
  
• Hips: 112 cm
  
• Weight gain: 12.5 kg
  

Current aches and pains:

• Pelvic instability - still present but not so bad. Main issue is pain in pubis symphosis joint
  
• Deep muscle soreness in my right gluteal muscle and sore sacroiliac joint.
• Very occasional sciatica - very mild (compared to my pregnancy with BallFiend)
  
• movements by Thumper - especially when pushing upwards against the top of my uterus.
  
• Sore skin above my belly button where it is stretched to bursting point.
  
• More strong 'pre-labour' symptoms: cramps (that feel like period pains), low back ache, nausea and braxton hicks contractions... on and off every few days now. Last week, I even had about an hour and a half of contractions that were 5 minutes apart... thought it might be the real deal for a while there.
• Moving my huge carcass anywhere, and especially rolling over in bed! I have no abdominal strength so turning over, sitting up from a lying position, getting in and out of the car, etc. are just about impossible!
  

How to dislodge the lodger? (or 'my superstitious practices for stalling and then inducing labour')

With the due date officially past, I no longer need to keep my legs so tightly crossed. All the worry of a premature birth a few weeks ago seems ridiculous now! Now it is time to turn my mind to enticing Thumper out naturally, rather than focussing on keeping Thumper in. (Especially before hospital protocols kick in and they start on about a 'medical induction'. Ho hum.)

However, I am sure that my state of mind has a lot to do with it. I realised some time ago that 9 September would be a cool birth-date (09/09/2009!) and being only a few days past my official due date, I thought it might be a possibility. As each day passes, I have become more and more 'decided' on this date. To the point where I have now written it on the wall calendar, in my diary, and have added to my 'to do' list "Give birth to our baby!" for tasks due on 9 September. Of course I am going to be really annoyed if Thumper leaves it any longer than this. I will have put up with the discomforts of late pregnancy for nuttin'! (I don't really mean 'for nothing', but we would rather not end up with September 11th as Thumper's birthday.)

I have also been doing some other things to stall labour... including letting some silly superstitions take hold:

• Avoided baking cakes. To entice BallFiend out when he was nine days overdue, I made a very yummy, rich chocolate cake (using Donna Hay recipe) and told everyone it was 'the baby's birthday cake, so the baby will have to be born now'. My hind-waters broke 10 hours later. I now feel confident to get back to baking again. Yum!
  
• Avoided using a particular set of flannelette sheets throughout Winter because they were the sheets we had on our bed when my hind-waters broke at the outset of BallFiend's labour. I am now planning to put these sheets on the bed on 8th September. (Aw, c'mon, they've been washed!)
  
• When practicing our hypnosis script from the hypnobirthing classes, DeepSpice has been including a message that "Thumper will not arrive prematurely".
  

And now, I am doing some things to actively encourage labour...

• Reading as many books as I can manage, because if Thumper arrives, I know I won't get to finish what I start! So every few days, when I start on a new novel and wonder if I am going to get to read the end. Even went to the Library today and borrowed a whole lot more books, knowing that I will most likely be returning them in three weeks time, unread.
  
• Finishing off those last few things on my 'to do before Thumper is born' list, including finishing off my tax return!
  

And of course, simply telling everyone and writing down on calendars and diaries that I will be busy having a baby on Wednesday!
--

Fathers' Day

I had thought Thumper might arrive today for Fathers' Day. But no (or at least, not so far), DeepSpice got to have a somewhat more relaxed Fathers' Day than we might otherwise have had... though no sleep-in: BallFiend was up and about by 7.00 am and because I wasn't, DeepSpice had to get up and do all the parenting solo. Pretty much just like every other day for the past month or so, as the late stage of pregnancy takes its toll on my energy levels.

Poor DeepSpice even had to locate his own Fathers' Day present from BallFiend (which I hadn't gotten around to unpacking from BallFiend's bag after crèche on Friday): a drawing by BallFiend together with a photo of BallFiend, laminated with a fridge magnet stuck on the back. (The carers at crèche are always really good at getting the kids to make presents for us mums and dads for special occasions - Mothers' Day, Fathers' Day, Xmas, etc.) I had also got a present for DeepSpice from BallFiend and me, but hadn't gotten around to wrapping it up. So DeepSpice didn't even get to unwrap that one! Then DeepSpice got his third 'present' of the morning... a pooey nappy courtesy of BallFiend. Followed about half an hour lated by a second pooey nappy! Argh!

After getting BallFiend his (four!) weetbix for breakfast, DeepSpice then had to make his own special Fathers' Day breakfast - he decided to fix himself up with a traditional fry-up: eggs, bacon, toast, fried tomatoes, mushrooms and toast. He also brought me a cup of tea in bed!

The rest of the day was more of the same... I lay around in bed or on the couch with no energy and DeepSpice played with BallFiend, organised lunch for us all and brought in the washing. At about 12.30 pm, I dragged myself to the shower and then we all went out to the local library. Both BallFiend and I needed some new stories to read and we needed to get BallFiend out of the house for a while as well.

Once home again, BallFiend was finally convinced to have 'a rest' in his cot, which turned out to be a 2.5 hour sleep. We woke him at 5.30 pm for dinner (this is not at all unusual for BallFiend - once he is asleep for his nap, he really knows how to nap!). DeepSpice made dinner while I pottered around and took a phone call from VolubleK. Then BallFiend set the table with placemats, knives and forks (with only a tiny bit of help from me... I am always impressed at how well he does this job).

Dinner over, DeepSpice played with BallFiend some more (playing catch and doing 'headers' with the beach ball in our long, long hallway), then got BallFiend ready for bed. We all read some new library books together and then DeepSpice carried BallFiend off to bed (as he does almost every night).

Phew! Hopefully in future years, DeepSpice will get a more traditional Fathers' Day, where he is the one treated to a morning of breakfast in bed, a nice lunch out at a restaurant or something, and no pooey nappies to change!
--

What a charmer!

BallFiend (to CutLuce):

That's a lovely dress. Where did you get it?

Truely! In the midst of playing with the marble run, he looked up at CutLuce and that is what he said... right out of the blue. Bizarre - such an adult comment from a 3 year old! All present (CutLuce, DesignerSis, DeepSpice and me) gaped at him for a moment, before CutLuce was able to respond. (She got the dress at I Want A Bargain.)

She reckons BallFiend must have been watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. But I can say with absolute certainty that he has never laid eyes on Carson Kressley!
--

Incentivisation

Here's how to motivate me to do my 2009 tax return... and especially to get it done before Thumper is born:

Chocolate-coated strawberries by DeepSpice.

Yum!
--

Thumper is toying with me

Getting lots of so-called 'pre-labour' these days... not surprising given I am 2 days away from official due date. (Even as I write this post now, I am getting BH on and off all the time!)

Mostly it has been just painless braxton hicks (BH) contractions, but last night I woke at 1.00 am with a really strong BH that lasted for ages (probably half an hour) accompanied by low-level cramping across the lower part of my abdomen. Eventually I went back to sleep, only to wake at 3.00 am with even more BH and cramping. These cramps were really strong and I had a vague sense of them increasing in intensity periodically, so I started timing how far apart: around 5 minutes!

My first thought was "this is it! I have woken up in proper labour!" But I wasn't sure, so I kept monitoring over the next 45 minutes or so and made DeepSpice rub my lower back (which was also a bit achy). I needed to wee about 4 times during that 45 minutes! (Apparently another sign of labour.)

By 4.00 am, I was deliberating about whether it was time to ring the Family Birth Centre (FBC) at the hospital and call in the troops (ie. my birth support people - VolubleK and MidwifeS, and CutLuce to mind BallFiend). DeepSpice was completely (though understandably) hopeless - he was too-half asleep to keep rubbing my back, let alone help me to reach a decision. But in the midst of my indecisiveness, I got really tired and just fell asleep again. Woke briefly at 6.22 am (I looked at the clock!) when I heard BallFiend call out once (probably just talking in his sleep) then went straight back to sleep again.

Both DeepSpice and I woke at about 7.30 am, again due to BallFiend calling out, but this time persistently enough to wake us properly. I felt pretty bloody awful, but mainly from lack of sleep. The regular contractions had gone, leaving in their wake a continuous low-level of crampiness. So I realised that the 3.00 am event was yet more pre-labour. Sigh.

At 8.30 am, I rang the FBC and discussed my labour-like signs with a midwife. She said "it sounds like things are 'stewing' and you will probably go into labour soon... in the next few days". I was able to reschedule my appointment (which was originally for tomorrow, Sept. 4th) to later that afternoon so I could go in and get checked out... mainly for my own peace of mind. I made DeepSpice take Carer's Leave so he could look after BallFiend in the morning and drive me to the appointment. (He had been planning to take leave on Friday anyway, so taking it a day early was not really a problem.)

This worked out quite well as we were able to take BallFiend with us to see the 'host-a-bul' where Thumper will be born, and let him watch the midwife do the routine checks (blood pressure, measure my belly size and listen to Thumper's heartbeat). Not that he was particularly intrigued. Mainly he just liked the toys there - in particular a toy truck which had balls enclosed in it.

Other highlights of the trip to FBC today:

• The drive to the hospital only took about 20 minutes (despite getting stuck behind an annoying truck for half the journey).
• We got a 1 hour parking spot straight away! And it was free! And it was within the actual hospital grounds! There is a tiny little carpark area just near the Emergency drop off point with about 10 spaces, and we got the last one! Must be a miracle.

Anyway, the midwife said that Thumper is still head down and in a good position (ie. not posterior thankfully!) although the head is not 'engaged' (which means it is still 'floating' over my pelvis) but that this is normal for a second baby... apparently they often don't engage until during labour. My blood pressure is normal, baby is measuring average size for gestation and heartbeat is fine.

So, now I return to the Twillight Zone and continue to wait, wait, wait...
--

Twillight Zone

With a few days to go (officially three), I feel I am in a weird sort of limbo... Thumper could arrive any day and anytime now. Literally. Especially since allegedly second and subsequent babies tend to be born more quickly (ie. after a labour of only a few hours).

My official birth plan, which is on file at the hospital, is 3 pages long, complete with instructions about how I would prefer things to happen (eg. not whisking Thumper away for weighing and bathing straight after the birth). Most of it is contingency plans in case I am transferred out of the Family Birth Centre. I feel quite confident that if all goes well and I birth in the FBC with midwifery-led care, I won't really need a birth plan at all. But if I end up in the birthing suites under medical care, it is much more important to spell things out in the birth plan. This is the important lesson I learned from my birth experience with BallFiend.

However, my unofficial birth plan is:

• go into labour when DeepSpice is home with me... probably sometime in the evening or overnight is preferable;
  
• have a labour of around 5 hours (enough time for natural endorphins to kick in, but not so long that I am too worn out);
• give birth on 9th September, 2009, preferably at either 9.00 am or 9.00 pm (so Thumper's birthdate is 09.09.2009!)
• have a pain-free labour and an intact perineum at the end... oh, and a healthy baby, of course!
  

It is weird to think that in just a few hours from now, I could have a baby in my arms, and yet at this moment, I have no indication that labour is imminent.

So as each day goes by, I feel like I am going deeper and deeper into a twillight zone, where my life is both on hold (and waiting for Thumper to throw our world into chaos for a few weeks... months... years!) and yet I am getting on with my normal day to day activities (as best I can when I feel like I have a lead bowling ball lodged between my legs).
--

Food glorious food

There is a long list of things that pregnant women are advised not to eat, due to the risk of getting food poisoning from Listeria. Here are the things I'm really looking forward to eating again, once I am no longer pregnant:

• Smoked salmon
• Soft cheeses, like Brie
• Fried egg with runny yolk (as part of a gourmet breakfast: DeepSpice take note!)
• things with mayonnaise... potato salad, chicken & mayo sandwiches, etc.
  
• Chocolate mousse

And of course, I am really looking forward to having a glass of wine!
--

Pregnancy update: 38+1

Well, here I am at the tail end of my second (and final!) pregnancy... just under two weeks to go (until the official due date that is - Thumper may of course choose a different birthdate). I am now 38 weeks pregnant.

Measurements at 38 weeks pregnant:

• Waist: 116 cm
  
• Hips: 108 cm
  
• Weight gain: 11 kg
  

Current aches and pains:

• Pelvic instability still present, although weekly chiropractic treatments seems to help a lot.
  
• Still have the deep muscle soreness in my right gluteal muscle and a sore sacroiliac joint.
• Sciatica (as was the case when I was pregnant with BallFiend, it has started up in the last 2 - 3 weeks of pregnancy); thankfully I have only had one or two really severe bouts - mostly it has been mild
  
• big squirming movements by Thumper (but not getting kicked much anymore - must have run out of room in there!)
• a little bit of reflux again (something I haven't had for many weeks)
• some serious 'pre-labour' symptoms. I have had two really major bouts, on Thursday 12th and Saturday 15th August. Starting from about 10 am and lasting all day until I went to bed at night, I had cramps like period pain, low back ache, nausea and braxton hicks contractions. Thought I might really be in labour! But since then, nothing so dramatic. A bit more of the same now and then, but thankfully to a much lesser extent!

Pros and Cons of late pregnancy

A friend, who has two kids, said to me a few weeks back "third trimester pregnancy has very little to recommend it" and whilst I am very much inclined to agree, the thought of life with a demanding newborn that reminds me that "fourth trimester pregnancy" (ie. the 6-week post-partum period) also has its cons! So here is my list of pros and cons of late pregnancy:

Cons of having a baby in utero:

• a big, uncomfortable belly that gets in the way of everything!
• numerous bodily aches and pains (see above)
  
• toilet breaks 2 - 3 times a night and even more than this during the day
• constipation
• various other bodily functions and events that I won't spell out in detail as that would be TMI
  
• limited wardrobe - have worn the same 5 - 10 items of clothing for months on end now
• can't trim my toenails
• can't tie my shoelaces
• extremely hard to get up from the floor if I squat down to pick something up
  
• extremely hard to sit up from a lying down position
• can't sleep on my back
• can't sleep on my tummy
• can't sleep on my side for long periods as this creates pressure soreness in my hip
• can't sleep, full stop (due to discomforts, the need to wee three times a night and waking up hungry at 4.00 am)
  
• need mountains of pillows in bed to prop up my belly and legs which makes turning over a nuisance
  
• can't sit, can't stand, can't kneel; no position is comfortable for any length of time. (I reckon this equates to torture - constantly suffering discomfort or pain!)
• can't eat favourite foods, such as smoked salmon and brie, due to risk of listeria
• no drinking alcohol
• suppressed immune system = frequent colds, sore throats, etc.
• always feeling tired and often very crabby
  
• the nesting instinct kicks in and I want to clean, tidy, declutter and organise, but am too tired to do so and can't shift the furniture anyway
• increasingly more frequent interactions with hospital and related health care providers: visits to midwives, pathology, chiropractor, etc.
• driving is awkward (and increasing dangerous as I feel more and more vague)
• being the subject of speculation and often a target for 'well-intentioned' advice (though thankfully much less so because Thumper is my second baby)

Pros of having a baby in utero:

• in the uterus no one can hear you the baby scream cry
• minimal sleep deprivation (the sleep deprivation due to pregnancy aches and pains is nothing compared to that caused by a newborn baby!)
• there are no nappies to change
• no need to spend hours settling baby to sleep
• can eat a meal without having to hold baby on my lap at the same time
• can eat a meal without having to get up throughout it to attend to baby's needs
• can do lots of other things with out being interrupted - drink a hot cup of tea, read a newspaper, have a conversation with DeepSpice, etc. (well, in reality I do get interrupted by BallFiend quite a lot, but not nearly as much as he used to do when he was a baby)
• feeding Thumper is easy - no breastfeeding related aches and pains (such as sore shoulders, cracked nipples, blocked ducts, etc.) and (down the track) no 'solids' to prepare, spoon feed then clean off the walls and floor
  
• don't have to cart baby off to the maternal health nurse for frequent weigh-ins and check ups, which then lead to worries about weight gains
• can leave the house without having to pack a nappy bag (still have to pack one for BallFiend of course, but this is easy these days - he doesn't need much stuff compared with what a baby requires)
  
• can go on an outing with minimal planning - just up and go
  
• only have to load one child into the car (and BallFiend can climb in himself now)
• can devote my full attention to BallFiend when we are spending time together - he doesn't have to compete with another child for my attention
• no post-partum aches and pains (my nether-regions are yet to undergo the rigours of childbirth)
• have an excuse to eat as many chocolate biscuits as I want (ie. I am storing fat which will get used up when I breastfeed!)
• I look pregnant because I am pregnant; as compared with those first few months post-partum when women look pregnant because their bodies as slowing returning back to normal after 9 months of carrying a baby. (Except for celebrities of course, who seem to have a strange desire to erase any evidence that their body has just carried a baby for nine months and who have a team of personal trainers, chefs and nannies at their disposal.)
• I am still the centre of attention as those around me ponder the miracle of life evident in my ever-expanding belly; they are concerned about my welfare and wonder about what Thumper will be like. Once on the outside, Thumper will be the centre of attention, and I will merely be Thumper's mobile life-support device.
  

There is one more thing, which is both a pro and a con: being pregnant puts life into perspective. Things that used to matter a lot don't seem so important (like getting projects at work done on time, having a career, keeping up with news and current affairs) but conversely things that shouldn't matter so much tend to get blown out of proportion (little things, like staying on top of housework and having everything 'ready' for when the baby comes).

So, as uncomfortable as I am right now, I am not wishing for this pregnancy to end. I don't not want Thumper to make a rush for the exit, because I know that no matter how hard things seem now, they are going to be much harder once I am a suffering sleep deprivation that only a newborn baby can create!
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Ball Magnet

It seems that where ever he goes, BallFiend's love obsession with balls gets noticed and people can't help themselves but give him a ball. I wish they wouldn't! We are running out of places to store them all!

For instance: a few months ago, we were in a shop and BallFiend spotted a display of rubber balls. He was examining each intently, then playing with them all around the store, while DeepSpice and I were looking the items we had come to purchase. Anyway, the manager saw BallFiend's delight and said to him:

"that is the last ball of that type left [it featured the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles breaking through a brick wall] and I want to get rid of it anyway, so would BallFiend like to have it to keep?"

Stupid question. So we left the shop with our purchases and another ball for the 'ballpit' in BallFiend's bedroom.

And, for instance: this morning, DeepSpice took BallFiend down to the local oval to watch the under 8s playing soccer. As it turned out, BallFiend wasn't interested in watching the kids playing soccer, but he was thrilled to see so many balls everywhere, laying all around the edge of the oval. Apparently he ran from one to the next, examining each, and calling for DeepSpice to follow along behind him as he moved onto the next, then the next.

At half time, BallFiend went out on the field and kicked a ball into the goal a few times. He had trouble understanding why he had to leave the field when the game resumed.

At the end, when it was time to pack up, BallFiend was eager to help pick up soccer balls and put them away in the big mesh bags. DeepSpice said the coach was so impressed that he gave BallFiend a yellow soccer ball to take home. Apparently there were at least 50 balls around the place, so one wasn't going to be missed anyway.

Whilst it was good entertainment for a morning, DeepSpice told me hopes that BallFiend doesn't want to go and play soccer when he is older, mainly due to the presence of less-desirable traits amongst some of the parents. In particular, the creepy coach who was wearing skin-tight lyrca leggings and clearly had no underwear underneath!

And thus, in hindsight I realise I should have given BallFiend the moniker of "BallMagnet" for this blog...
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Memories...

Today is our anniversary - DeepSpice and I, that is. Since I am too tired and pregnant (38 weeks tomorrow!) to be bothered going out for a fancy dinner or even to make a special night in, I am taking a trip down memory lane instead...

On this day 14 years ago, DeepSpice and I were just young, foolish, idealistic lefties, mucking about together at my sharehouse in Helen St, Northcote. It was August 21st, 1995 and one week after the La Trobe Uni student protest when we occupied the administration building for a couple of hours. DeepSpice and I were sitting on FreeloadingPhill's sofabed (which I should point out he obtained for free from his grandmother's estate... he was a freeloader even back in those days) watching TV, when the magic began.

Actually the magic really began two years earlier in 1993, after I asked DeepSpice to help me with a Music assignment. With about 3 hours until the assignment was due, I went to his room at college and demanded his help because he had done the same Music subject the previous year and I didn't like the subject anyway, so just wanted to get through it as quickly as possible. I should point out that in the end, DeepSpice was no help, as (a) he couldn't find his old assignment, (b) he was hung-over and still asleep at midday, and (c) he failed first year entirely. Anyway, this non-musical interlude led on to an increased degree of 'hanging out' together. Until, a few weeks into our fledging 'thing', I got glandular fever and was sick for about 5 weeks. Then life just sort of moved on. I got caught up in all the bigger, better things to do as a second-year uni student, and although I stayed friends with DeepSpice, I held back on getting too involved with him, lest a serious relationship interfere with all the other possibilities that are open to a second-year uni student!

Anyway, two years on and there we were, somehow both in the right place at the right time, unencumbered by romantic commitments to other people (DeepSpice more recently so than I, having just been dumped by someone about a week before). And the rest, as 'they' say, is history.


Also on this day 5 years ago, DeepSpice and I had a wedding ceremony with about 100 of our nearest and dearest family and friends. I should point out that we chose not to get married (much to StompyDad's disapproval) because we didn't see the need. We are both atheists, and we didn't see any reason for a civil marriage either: we already had a sizable home loan together which we considered was enough evidence of our commitment to each other. What we wanted was to celebrate our (then 9-year) relationship, and to ensure that all of our relatives understood that we were in a relationship for life, and not that we were just the boyfriend/girlfriend of the moment. (It gets really annoying after 9 years, when extended family invite one of us to a family-do, like a wedding, but not invite the other because they just didn't remember/recognise our relationship). Oh, and we wanted to have a party, of course! And by cleverly scheduling our wedding on the August 21st, we ensured that we wouldn't have two different dates to remember.

So anyway, we did the wedding thing, and although there were quite a lot of good things that happened in the course of the big event, I can honestly say that I would never, ever do such a thing again. It became a Frankenstein's Monster, turning into something that was completely not what we wanted. It seems that as soon as one ascribes the word 'wedding' to an event, it becomes loaded with generations of social meaning, layered with ritual and is quickly taken over by others, who are eager to relive (or perhaps re-enact) their own weddings... and this time they get to do so from the position of being the ones to slather-on the meaning and ritual, rather than being the ones subjected to it! (I guess if BallFiend or Thumper ever have a wedding, DeepSpice and I will have the chance to get our own back! Mwah-ha-ha-ha!)

The choice of date didn't really work out so well either - despite organising our wedding for the date of our relationship's anniversary, I still get mixed up anyway and think that our anniversary is August 15th. I am also hopeless at remembering how many years it has been. Thereby putting an end to the idea that it is always the male in a relationship who forgets the anniversary.

However, all that really matters is that DeepSpice and I are still happily and lovingly together after all these years, In addition, we have spawned progeny, thereby contining the over-population of the planet... and that should make those religious freaks happy. And even if it doesn't who cares! We are happy... BallFiend is a delight -- more so every day as he develops -- and I am sure that Thumper will be too. I just hope that this time next year, we are dining out somewhere special, with a nice bottle of plonk on the table and the kids safely home with a babysitter!
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iCoaster

This looks like great fun: iCoaster.

Yet another toy I could get for me and pretend that I really got it for BallFiend... just like the Marble Run I got him for his third birthday present. >:)
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Mondegreen - So F**king Rock

My house is bockin' bop!
My house is rockin' rock!
Ouch!

(Tim Minchin says 'ouch'.)

BallFiend singing the Tim Minchin song "So F**king Rock" (or at least the lyrics as he understands them!).
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Nothing could possibli go wrong

Had a crappy couple of days - but strangely, am fairly cool, calm and collected! Not sure why things aren't getting to me that would normally have me in a fury.

Wednesday, August 12

I had another appointment with the midwife at midday and also needed to get a blood sample taken for a compulsory blood test (apparently the hospital want to be sure that there is enough iron in my system). I left in time to get to the Pathology department by about 11.00 am so I could do the blood test before my appointment. But the hospital car park was full and by the time I had spent 15 minutes looking for a parking space in the surrounding streets, I didn't arrive at Pathology until 11.30 am. As I got out of the car, I noticed the exhaust was looking a bit too smoky... not a good sign when we have just had the car serviced!

At Pathology, I took the next number (47) and when 37 was called, I realised there were 10 people in the queue ahead of me. So I sat and waited, and waited, and waited. Then, at midday, I had to leave the queue and go to the Family Birth Centre for my appointment. At this point there were only about 2 or 3 people in the Pathology queue ahead of me, so it was really annoying to have to give up my place. I decided to try my luck with repositioning myself in the queue by grabbing a few more numbers. The number cards were back to the start with number 1 at the front. So I took 5 and 8, hopeful that by the time I finished with the midwife, my number might be up!

At the Family Birth Centre, I was kept waiting for nearly 25 minutes. Might as well have stayed in the queue at Pathology. Grrr! I ended up seeing the same midwife I saw at my last visit (one I don't like much). She gave me a swab to do the GBS test, then listened to Thumper's heartbeat, felt Thumper's position. I managed to ask a few questions as she rushed me out the door. She handed me the swab and said to give it to Pathology and ask them to send it off for testing along with my blood sample.

Back up to Pathology. Finally something good happens: the next number up is 5! The woman holding number 6 looks at me with daggers though... obviously wondering how I can just turn up and get seen straight away. Having the blood sample taken was stressful and unpleasant. In the same room, on the other side of the curtain, a baby about 6 months old was having a blood sample taken and he was extremely distressed, absolutely bawling. Plus I was feeling stressed from all the rushing about. Anyway, the needle hurt this time, and I still have a bruise 2 days later.

All done and finally time to go except... the FBC midwife hadn't given me a pathology request slip for the GBS swab so the Pathology department couldn't accept it. So I went back down to the FBC. There were no staff in sight. I waited for about 5 minutes and eventually someone appeared. After a fair bit of explaining on my part, she finally understood the situation and agreed to do the pathology request slip. I raced out the door to get back to the car before I got booked for staying past the 2 hour limit.

I got a bit of a rest at home in the afternoon before heading off to crèche to collect BallFiend. It wasn't till I got back to the car and had him all strapped in and ready to go that I remembered to check the nappy bag to ensure everything was in it (something I usually do before I leave the building). Usually, the carers are very good with packing all the clothes, dummy, blankie, etc. back into the bag. But of course this time, the dummy wasn't in the bag! I couldn't be bothered heading back to look for it, so when I got home I just emailed the crèche to ask them to keep an eye out for it.

Thursday, August 13

I slept very badly and woke up already completely exhausted! I had planned to take BallFiend out somewhere in the morning - maybe shopping or a visit to a friend's house, then I was going to tackle the remaining things on my "to do before Thumper is born" list while BallFiend had his afternoon nap, but all I could manage was slowly pottering about the house. Thank goodness for television - BallFiend watched it for about 3 hours straight!

Around 1.00 pm, I started feeling unwell - nausea, cramps in my lower belly and extending down my legs and a low back ache. I began to feel a bit anxious... maybe I was in early labour! Thumper was definitely not allowed to come out yet:

1. It is less than a week since BallFiend's birthday and I want as much time as possible between Thumper and BallFiend's birthdays, so that organising parties in future will be a little easier.
   
2. VoluableK was off to the Pink concert that night and wouldn't be available to come to support me during labour.
   
3. Being less than 37 weeks pregnant (ie. at this time I was 36 + 5 days), the hospital would consider it as a premature birth and so I would not be eligible for the Family Birth Centre.
   
4. I just don't feel ready yet!

I lay on the couch whilst BallFiend ran about amusing himself by throwing the beach ball up to the ceiling and rolling marbles across the floor and generally running amok. Clearly there was no way BallFiend was going to nap for me today. However I managed to nap for about half an hour, undisturbed by BallFiend's exuberance. I was very impressed with BallFiend's understanding when I explained that I felt sick and I was equally impressed with his ability to entertain himself, finding things to play with around the house and requesting nothing from me!

At about 2.00 pm, I messaged DeepSpice and asked him to come home early, saying I felt unwell (but not mentioning the possiblity of labour as I didn't want to get him overly alarmed). Anyway, DeepSpice said he would get away as early as possible, but he didn't understand that I meant as soon as possible. So I was disappointed when it got to 3.30 pm and DeepSpice hadn't even left work yet! However, thankfully I was feeling a bit better by this time... but also well enough to feel even more anxious that I hadn't finished off the final preparations for Thumper's arrival, such as finishing packing bags for hospital, leaving notes and checklists for family members who will be caring for BallFiend, etc.

By 4.30 pm, I was feeling pretty bad again, and very tired. I was still unsure if I was just experiencing Braxton Hicks contractions or was really in early labour, and DeepSpice was only just leaving work, so I decided to ask DesignerSis to come over and help me by getting dinner for BallFiend. However, DeepSpice got home around 5.00 pm, so I messaged DesignerSis and said not to worry about coming over.

I continued to feel nauseous and crampy to greater and lesser degrees all evening. But stupidly stayed up pretty late making sure all the last preparations were finished, in case we ended up rushing off to hospital later that night, including making DeepSpice install the baby capsule in the car! Finally in bed around 11.00 pm and asleep about midnight. Only to wake at 1.40 am needing to wee, then again at 4.20 am.

Friday, August 14

Surprisingly, after the events of Thursday, I felt much better when I woke up at 6.20 am, and strangely quite well rested! Obviously I wasn't in as good shape as I felt though because I dropped my dear old Palm Tungsten T3 on the floor! I am so clumsy at the moment... not sure if it is pregnancy-related. Anyway, the screen now has a massive crack through it, and it is clearly beyond repair. I had been thinking of decommissioning it, only because the battery performance had got really poor. But now I suppose I have no choice.

And there was still no sign of BallFiend's dummy when I picked him up at crèche this afternoon.
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Things I do now that I didn't do before I had a kid...

• eat food that has fallen on the floor (30 second rule applies)
• always have a face washer handy - even when I am out of the house
• not really care if I get dribble/spit on me
  
• not get totally grossed out by poo (it's just food after all)
• not get totally grossed out by vomit (when BallFiend is sick, his misery completely over-rides any feelings of disgust)
• sit on the floor
• sit on the ground outside
• make up songs, poems and stories
  
• muck about, be silly, sing songs, even in front of other adults
• watch kids shows on TV... and often enjoy them too
  
• feel a great sense of achievement if I only manage to do one errand in a day
• prepare and cook meals (used to be strictly DeepSpice's domain but now I do this quite often)
  
• bake cakes and biscuits several times a month

to be continued...
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Report card - 3 years old!

BallFiend is three years old today, so I thought I would write him a 'report card'... just like teachers at school used to do to me. (Ha Ha!)

According to Raising Children web site, by three years old, BallFiend...

should be able to:
identify four pictures by naming

Yes. Identifies more pictures than I can count. Can also identify many letters of the alphabet, several numbers and even his own name. He also is frequently asking ‘what does that say’ when pointing to a word. Whilst staying with Gran and GrandPaul, he pointed to the word 'party' on the packet of balloons and asked if it said 'party'. But we are not sure if he recognised the word or it was just a good guess based on prior knowledge and context.

wash and dry hands

Yes. Thanks to carers at crèche teaching BallFiend to do this.

identify a friend by naming

Yes. Names and talks about many of his friends, including when they are not present. Especially playgroup friends LittleMissL, LittleMissP, MasterS, MasterF, MasterW, LittleMissIz, MasterL as well as PetitAmi, and various friends from crèche.

throw a ball overhand

Yes. And kicks a ball along the ground, and kicks a ball drop-punt style, and dribbles a ball with his feet, and pat-bounces a ball, and catches a ball... and, and, and...

speak and be understood half the time

Yes. In fact, sometimes he never shuts up! Can be understood about 95% of the time by his parents and most other people as well.

carry on a conversation of two or three sentences

Yes. In addition to conversations, he also does monologues. Recently (last month or so), BallFiend has become extremely imaginative and makes up short stories. He also likes to make up songs.

use prepositions

Yes. Uses many including: about, above, across, after, around, at, before, behind, between, but, by, down, for, from, in, inside, like, near, of, off, on, out, outside, over, to, under, up, with...

will probably be able to:
use two adjectives

Yes. Uses many adjectives – more than I can count!

put on a T-shirt

Maybe. Probably could do this if he wanted to, but BallFiend has no motivation to dress himself. He does help with putting on tops – if I put it over his head, he will put the arms into the sleeves by himself without prompting.

broad jump

Yes, I think so... if this means jump forwards from a stationary position.

may possibly be able to:
balance on each foot for two seconds

Yes.

describe the use of two objects

Yes. Many more than two.

may even be able to:
copy a circle

Yes.

prepare a bowl of cereal

Maybe. BallFiend probably could do this but has not tried – shows no interest in doing this.
The breakfast routine now consists of DeepSpice or I placing a bowl of dry vitabrits (2 biscuits, crushed up) on his little table and a jug of warm milk.
BallFiend sits down and likes us to push his chair in for him. He will put his own bib on (sometimes, when motivated), and always wipes his own hands on a damp cloth before a meal. He then likes to pour his own milk and does so with full control. Rarely spills any. He then ‘mushes’ the vitabrits with a spoon and gets annoyed if they are not flat and smooth. Then he usually eats them with his bare hands.
Often he will demand a second helping (another 2 vitabrit biscuits). When he finished eating, he wipes his hands on his cloth, and sometimes wipes spills up from the table. Then he runs to me or DeepSpice and asks us to wipe his hands (he is sometimes annoyingly fastidious about getting his hands messy... although after meals his hands usually do need a bit more cleaning up).

dress without help

Maybe. BallFiend shows no interest in selecting clothes to wear, even to the extent that he won’t even make a choice between two t-shirts if offered the opportunity to choose. (Which is the complete opposite of the girls in our playgroup who love to choose their own clothes and even accessorise!)

identify four colours

Yes. Knows red, green, blue, yellow, pink, orange, black, purple, brown, white and ‘clear’ (ie. transparent). Sometimes describes various shade of purple as blue or red.

put on an article of clothing

Yes. Can put on own socks and pants but is very unmotivated to do so... will only do so if heavily encouraged. BallFiend also put on own shoes once or twice, again with much encouragement. I suppose he just has more interesting things to do. Can put on own hat.

Very good at taking off items of clothing – especially shoes and socks, which are usually removed as soon as he comes into the house and are then thrown asunder! (Much to my annoyance.)

To conclude, an obligatory, patronising section...

BallFiend demonstrates great curiosity about the world and continues to apply himself well to task of learning. He does this through unstructured play but also responds well to parental or other carers direction when engaging in more structured activities.

He is extremely interested in balls and all their physical properties, and demonstrates a strong ability to focus at length when investigating the various ways that a single ball can move, be used and sometimes destroyed (the 'face ball' got stabbed in the eye with a screwdriver, the blue and white ball got thrown in a rose bush, the seams of the seahorse beach ball gave up after it was sat on one time too many, and many ping pong balls have been squashed underfoot as BallFiend attempted to backspin them with his heel). His favourite ball at present is the green/blue/pink/clear beach ball; however it also gets sat on frequently and will presumably soon be in ball heaven too.

Whilst it is pleasing to see such a strong ability to focus, BallFiend would benefit from expanding his interests into other areas, for example toy cars or dinosaurs. [I got a school report once that said I spent too much time reading books by a single author and that I should try reading more widely. The school librarian didn't understand that my preference was to read all books by an author before moving on to another author. Something I still do now and don't see any problem with!]

Over the past year, BallFiend has also enjoyed a range of other activities:

• Artistic: drawing in crayon, stamps and ink, playdoh, cutting up paper with scissors. BallFiend's favourite colour is green.
  
• Culinary: baking with me, chopping up vegetables with a proper kitchen knife (mainly zucchini and onion), grocery shopping, and of course squishing and throwing food.
• Music: singing songs, composing his own songs, playing harmonica (especially if jamming with DeepSpice on guitar or playing along to Sugar Blue with GrandPaul also on harmonica), strumming guitar (again with DeepSpice's help). His favourite music is 'rock and roll' (by which he means the Queen Greatest Hits album) and in particular "mama mia" (by which he means Bohemian Rhapsody).
• Literacy: BallFiend shows great interest in learning to recognise and write various letters and numbers. Favourites are "H" and the number 8. He likes to 'do writing' using pens, biros and markers and not just on paper (furniture, walls and balls have all been popular media). BallFiend loves to read books and be read to - especially books that feature balls or anything ball-shaped, like balloons or eggs. At last count he had well over 100 books.
• Science: recognises various planets and other astrological bodies (Earth, Moon, Saturn, Jupiter), naturally of interest because they are ball-shaped; is interested in physics - can describe a synchotron ("It goes round and round and round and round and BANG!"); likes to experiment with gravity particularly using toys such as marble and ball runs; interested in various materials and their properties ("is this rubber? is this plastic? is this wood?" etc). Understands some aspects of human physiology and is particularly fascinated with the digestive system (ie. he giggles when he farts!); interested in observing blood come out (when watching me have blood samples taken for testing) and speculating on what colour it is.
• Consuming media: watching TV (favourite shows include PlaySchool, the Upside Down Show, Curious George the Monkey and Shaun the Sheep), playing Peggle, watching video clips on YouTube (especially the Pinball Song from Sesame St), watching our Tim Minchin DVD (we had to curb that one, as he was learning some very colourful language!).

Overall, BallFiend, you are a delight to be around almost all of the time. It is only when you are grumpy due to being tired and/or hungry that you display some of the more difficult behaviours typical of your stage of development. You show great maturity, empathy and intelligence for someone so little and both DeepSpice and I look forward to watching you grow and develop.

A+

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