Mud bridge

BallFiend and his friend Axel worked on this project for "all of recess and lunch time".

I worked in the laundry all of the evening getting the mud out of his clothes.
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Quick, hide!

BallFiend and Thumper were watching the Octonauts. In this episode, some cute-sy looking Octonauts go into a cave that turns out to be a cute-sy looking whale shark.

Thumper: Oh no! I'm scared!

BallFiend (in a very matter of fact voice): Well, get behind the couch then."

Moments later, BallFiend gets scared too and joins Thumper behind the couch.

Little heads pop up from behind the couch every now and then, eyes peeping through parted fingers. There's much whimpering (but not enough to drown out the vigourous protestations when I suggest that I could just turn the TV off).

Eventually they emerge from behind the couch and watch a bit more of the show. Until the next scary bit.

BallFiend: "Quick, back behind the couch!"

--

Singlish

"A singlish is a thing to hold your breasts still."
- says Thumper, confusing a singlet and a bra and quite possible the language that we all claim to speak.

--

Can you see the whale?

At breakfast, Thumper suddenly called out, "Look, a whale!".

BallFiend rushed over to look and the two of them admired the whale.
"Two eyes here. A nose," she points out, "and a squirter!"

I went over and looked too... but I just couldn't see the whale.

--

Treasure

I had put a Eurythmics CD on and Sweet Dreams started playing...

Thumper: Oooh this sounds like a hunting song.

Me: does it? What are they hunting for?

Thumper (in a very meaningful voice): Treasure.

BallFiend: And they’re going over a bridge. It’s a stone bridge, with lots of lines...

Thumper: ...and they have to find the X.

BallFiend: And there’s bit broken off the bridge...

The story kept going in a similar vein for another few minutes.

--

Annoying recursion

Thumper: Give it to me.
BallFiend: Give it to me.
Thumper: BallFiend, stop copying me.
BallFiend: Stop copying me.
Thumper: Don't!
BallFiend: Don't!
Thumper: STOP COPYING ME!
BallFiend: Stop copying me.
Me: BallFiend, stop it.
BallFiend: OK. I'll copy myself.
DeepSpice: Don't do that, you'll never stop.
BallFiend: No I won't.
BallFiend: No I won't.
BallFiend: No I won't.
etc.

--

Shark-infested bathtub

Overheard during Thumper’s bath tonight...

DeepSpice: I’m here to wash your hair.

Thumper holds up a toy shark.

DeepSpice: Hello shark.

Thumper: Noooooo! It’s not a friendly one. You can’t put your hand in to wash my hair.

--

Persistence pays off

BallFiend: Thumper, come here.

Thumper: no

BallFiend: Thumper, come here.

Thumper: no

BallFiend: Thumper, come here. I have a secret to tell you.

Thumper: no

BallFiend: Thumper, come here. I have a secret to tell you.

Silence.

BallFiend: Thumper, come here.

Silence.

BallFiend: Thumper, come here.

Thumper: No.

Pause.

BallFiend: Thumper, come HERE!
 
Thumper: No.

BallFiend: THUMPER, COME HERE!
 
Thumper: NO!

BallFiend: Thumper, come here. I have a secret to tell you.

Thumper: I’m busy collecting things.

Ballfiend: Oh. OK.

Pause.

BallFiend: Thumper, come here. I have a secret to tell you. It’s really funny.

Thumper (cheerily): OK!

Thumper trots up the hallway to the bedroom.

Thumper (giggling): Wow! That’s fantastic!

--

The funniest thing...

Thumper: I know the funniest thing in the world.

BallFiend: What?

Thumper: Penis.

Both kids chuckle for a moment, then fall silent.


BallFiend: That’s not the funniest thing in the world.

--

What off button?

Thumper: Mummy when will you be finished on the com-PEW-ta?

Me (murmuring absent-mindedly): Oh, probably never…

Thumper: Well, Mummy, there’s an off button on the com-PEW-ta.

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Boring old playschool

Overheard this morning while the kids were watching TV - Playschool had just started.

Thumper, in her best whiney voice: "Oh, I'm bored of this!"
BallFiend: "But this is good! Because the ball of playdough rolls down and hits him and he goes bonk and lands on a drum."

I watch as BallFiend narrates over the opening titles, and indeed, a ball is balanced on a stack of books, then it rolls off, bumps into Humpty Dumpty, who topples over and lands upright again on a toy drum.
--

Claude's corn

Usually when I ask BallFiend to tell me what happened at school today, I get one of two responses: 'I don't know' or 'I forgot'. Getting any info out of him is pretty much futile... even long and involved police-grade interview sessions elicit only the most scant of details*.

So during dinner tonight, DeepSpice and I were amazed when BallFiend, completely unprompted, started telling us about an incident that happened at after school care. It was also pretty gross.

"At aftercare today, Claude... he was sitting on the bench thing and he spewed and he didn't have one of those little plastic bags so he had to spew on the floor."

"Poor Claude," I sympathised, "what made him spew?"

"I don't know," replied BallFiend, "but there was lots of corn in it. Then the teachers came and put kitty litter all over it. What is kitty litter made of and why did they put it on the spew?"

Nice of BallFiend to be so forthcoming for a change. Pity about the timing. At least we weren't having corn for dinner I suppose.

*However, a few months ago, I worked out a fantastic technique that is guaranteed to get results to the eternal 'what did you do at school today?' question. As soon as I can get around to it, I'm going to put it into a book and DVD and sell it to parents everywhere and make billions!

Putting the poo back into pool

We took the kids to the Oak Park pool today. An enjoyable way to spend a stinking hot day. We arrived first thing in the morning to nice crystal clear (chlorinated) water. Over the course of the day, as more people arrived and ratio of sunscreen to water increased, the pool became increasingly murky.

But ultimately it was my own offspring who showed that pool-water 'what for': Thumper did a poo in the pool! And even worse, because DeepSpice had disappeared off to the toilet, so it was all up to me to clean up: I had to scoop up the poo with my bare hands and carry it to the nearest rubbish bin!

Still traumatised!
--

Gobbles

Me: Have you finished your breakfast Thumper?
Thumper: No, not yet. I’m just going have three more gobbles.

--

Grade 1, Day 1

First day back at school today for BallFiend.

Same cheesy grin, with a few less teeth compared to this time last year!
Delphi and Woofer (toy dogs) are still required to attend school with BallFiend (though no doubt they will spend the day shoved in the back of his locker.
Sandals look the same but these are actually new ones, a size or two larger.
New learning community with a new teacher (Suzanne). BallFiend has quite a few of the same kids from Bicicletta last year... most importantly Zoe. 
-- 

Making a mark!

"BallFiend, can I use one of these as an exclamation mark*?" asks Thumper, referring to BallFiend’s off-cuts of cardboard from his latest craft project, scattered all over the floor.

* By ‘exclamation mark’, Thumper means a bookmark. Of course.

--

Science with a sting

"That would sting like a mad scientist!"
- BallFiend

-- 

The grape mine

This morning, after I had finished hurrying DeepSpice off to work (late again - he didn't leave till about 9 am), I sat Thumper up at the table with her bowl of weetbix, opposite BallFiend who was still ever so slowly picking away at his bowl of weetbix. As is his way. Then after carefully taking stock of the situation... Thumper had just been to the toilet... there were no scissors in reach... the kids had water to drink... clothes laid out and ready to get dressed in after breakfast, etc., etc. So I felt safe to quickly and quietly sneak off to shower and dress.

But I hadn't reckoned on the bowl of grapes in the middle of the table being used to booby-trap the entire back room of our house.

After my shower, as I walked back down the hallway, I could hear peals of laughter from both children. I wasn't too concerned at this stage. Maybe just a tiny bit concerned. But mainly I was just glad they weren't fighting again.

Then as I entered the room, Thumper looked at me and said in an advisory tone, "Don't look under the fridge mum." When I asked her why, she refused to tell me. So I asked her if I should ask BallFiend why I shouldn't look under the fridge. Before she could say no, BallFiend piped up: "Thumper put grapes under the fridge."

I looked over at the now empty bowl on the table. The entire bowl of beautiful, fresh green grapes was gone, with just the stalks remaining. And indeed, there were quite a few grapes under the fridge. But that didn't account for all of them. However I just assumed Thumper had eaten the rest. (She's a complete glutton when it comes to grapes. She'll just keep eating them until they're all gone if no one stops her. I know. I had to change her pants after the last time she gorged herself on grapes and it wasn't pretty!)

So I set Thumper to work retrieving the grapes from under the fridge. Told BallFiend off for laughing and encouraging Thumper in her misdeeds. Then proceeded to try and get us all organised to go out. I hurried around collecting the various items that Thumper would need for the day (about 20 pairs of spare pants - toilet-training has not been going so well recently) and shoving them into her pink Hootabelle ("no, it's Twinkify!!" she insists) bag.

Then I feel it. Pop. Squelch. I looked under my foot and find the skin of a grape stuck to my shoe, a small puddle of grape juice on the ground. I look around the room and suddenly realise where the rest of the grapes have gone: spread out like a mine-field, all over the room.
--

Chocolate moose

Today, Thumper, BallFiend and I visited StompyDad who has been busily 'decluttering' as a result of the xmas gift that I gave him (a book called Sorted). A gift that has sadly backfired upon me as StompyDad now requires that I spend many, many hours at his house to look through the piles of stuff that he has determined to be clutter. Presumably so that I can shift it all to my house and ultimately end up with an equivelent clutter problem in 30 years time.

And so we were all off to see StompyDad and his clutter. (Except for DeepSpice who got to stay home and attempt to recuperate from the dreadful night's lack of sleep that we both had, courtesy of Thumper waking and wailing multiple times. DeepSpice did most of the getting-up, so I thought this was fair enough).

We stopped on route at a bakery to pick up lunch supplies to take to StompyDad's house - just some pastries and a few sweet treats. I chose lemon tarts for StompyDad and me, BallFiend opted out, and Thumper choose a chocolate mousse. (Both kids also decided to chuck massive tantrums in the shop so that by the time I left, I was completely embarassed by them and furious with them. BallFiend was very contrite afterwards. Thumper not so.)

We arrived at StompyDad's house, ate our lunch and then I was given a grand tour of all the recently decluttered sites around the house... "Open that cupboard. Look in here. Now I just want to show you this, it's important..." and so on for about an hour and a half. Eventually StompyDad left me to actually look through the boxes of stuff. There were some fabulous finds, in amongst the many things that should have been thrown out or sent to the op-shop years ago. The best prize was finding my and CutLuce's Wind in the Willows audio-book, on three cassettes. You know, the kind with actual magnetic tape in them! Recently I've been reading Wind in the Willows to the kids (and Gran and GrandPaul took them to a performance of it at the Royal Botanic Gardens last week). So I have been wishing I could get my hands on that audiobook again. Now I can. All I have to do is work out how to get it transferred onto a CD-rom. Piece of cake.

I also found my old Barbies and a toy rubbish truck (my favourite toy vehicle when I was a kid) and Pick-up Sticks, and a wierd maths toy that you stick rubber bands on and make symmetrical and mirrored patterns with. BallFiend took to these immediately, especially the maths toy. "Now I have something to use my rubber band collection on" he remarked with great joy.

After many hours longer than I had intended to stay, we headed home, the car boot filled with newly rediscovered treasures.

Once home, we sat down to dinner (thanks DeepSpice) and began to tell DeepSpice about our day...

Thumper mentioned that she had had a "chocolate reindeer". I corrected her: "No, you had a chocolate mousse." As soon as the words left my mouth I made the connection: chocolate mousse > moose > reindeer. Of course DeepSpice was way ahead of me and had already sussed out Thumper's thought process...

A few weeks ago we went up to Mt Buller for a couple of nights. While we were up there we went to the cafe at Mt Buller Chalet where they have a large stuffed (ie. taxidermied) Canadian Moose on display. At the time, Thumper was pretty obsessed with reindeers (due to the whole xmas-Santa thing), so we mentioned to Thumper that a moose is a bit like a reindeer.

For a three year old, this kid has an amazing memory and an amazing ability with words!
--

The whole nine grains

During dinner tonight, I noticed that Thumper had her finger up her nose...

Me: "Thumper, what are you doing? Take you finger out of your nose!"

Thumper: "But I can't get the rice out of my nose."

DeepSpice and I look at each other with that look. Then we both sigh.

DeepSpice pulls out his hanky and instructs Thumper to blow.

Success! The grain of rice is retrieved.

But wait...

Thumper: There's still more rice...."

DeepSpice repositions the hanky and once again instructs Thumper to blow. Another grain emerges.

And so it went for the next five minutes until eventually all nine grains of rice were freed from their nasal prison... at least we really hope that all of 'em!
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