Daddy bird

There's a TV show called Portlandia that I came across when someone posted a link to it on Facebook. It's pretty funny. I've only seen clips on YouTube as it hasn't been on free-to-air TV here. My favourite clip is the "Put a bird on it" one.

The other day, soon after our last date - during which we had visited a boutique store which had designer bags and other things with birds on them - DeepSpice and I were mucking about with the kids and telling them to "put a bird on it" as they kept holding up different toys and things. Anyway, after a while the kids got the idea and joined in the game, telling us to "put a bird on it" for almost every item we touched and everybody was laughing.

A few hours later, DeepSpice and Thumper were sitting together, with Thumper busily throwing things off the couch. DeepSpice kept asking her to put things back up on the couch, and they inevitably started up the good ol' "put a bird on it" banter. Suddenly Thumper came out with "Put a daddy on it", followed by a big, cheesy grin. She'd just made her first joke... and she knew it - the next thing she said was  "I'm joking".
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Melbourne Open House

Thanks to DeepSpice's willingness to stay home and 'man' the fort, I was able to escape into the city for Melbourne Open House 2011. I'd really wanted to go in 2010 but hadn't managed to get there. So this year, I was very excited to have a day out on my own, sans kids!

I started out at the ANZ Gothic Bank, which was amazing! Unfortunately, I had to wait in a 90 minute queue for the ANZ Bank, so I only got to another two buildings before it was time to go home: the former Public  Records Office of Victoria and former Land Titles Office. 

Below is a photo I took of the teeny, tiny staircase in the former Land Titles Office - it is a really steep spiral staircase, carved out of a single piece of bluestone. I have no idea how it can be cut so thin and yet still be strong enough to walk on.

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Not quite a nightmare

6.00 am this morning, wails come from BallFiend's bedroom, so I go in to investigate...

Me: What's wrong, why are you crying?
BallFiend: I had a dream that you popped all my balls. It was a bit of a (voice quavers)... sad dream.
Pause. More passionate crying.
BallFiend: Why did you pop all my balls Mum?
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Fanning the Flames, Flaming the Fans

I think I have just been drawn into combat... drawn into my very own, first ever, personal flame-war, by an evil parrot-troll hybrid.

As a show of good sportspersonship, I shall extend my now-nemesis the same courtesy that he/she has shown me by preserving his/her anonymity and hereafter referring to him/her only as "Phil" and not once shall I refer to Phil as FreeloadingPhill (despite the fact that Phil is, by Phil's own decree, a free-loader).

I will not endeavour to fan the flames by making any derogatory remarks regarding my opponent's character.

Nor do I deny that, in the course of reclaiming this, my blog, I adopted a certain naming convention when referring to the subjects of my posts, which may or may not have originated from freeloadingphill.blogspot.com, and I hereby declare that this was done purely with the intent of copy-catting (imitation being, as we well know, the sincerest form of flattery). 

In the interests of resolving this matter amicably I, Stompy, declare and affirm as follows: 

1. I don't really like parrots. However, as with most creatures, they can - under the right circumstances - provide a certain amusement to help one pass the time. 
2. I don't really mind trolls, especially those ones with the long fluorescent hair that people used to have on their keychains in the 90s. I'm fairly certain that the very manly and virile drummer in a band I used to be in used to have one in his car for good luck. And apparently those trolls-dolls were "My Little Ponys for boys", so maybe he had a whole collection... I never actually opened the [Pandora's] glove box to check.
3. In order to create stakeholder engagement, whilst achieving productivity benchmarks, moving forward, the necessity for blog-owners to "additionalise the content of [one's] communications" (provided properly-credited reference to the originating blog is made) is acceptable in the context of strategic practice.
4. Ner-ner-ner-ner-ner. No backs, no refunds. 

Now, if you would be so kind as to pass me a drumstick, I have a marshmallow waiting to be toasted.
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Smilk

Thumper: want s'milk, want s'milk!
Me (teasing): you want "smilk"?
Thumper: No silly, I want [now enunciating perfectly] some milk!

Gotta love it when a nearly two year old puts you in your place.
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Pasta, Plonk and Puzzles

Took the family on a one-day road trip today to visit Great Gran Billy in Ballarat. Due to the section of obligatory roadworks on the Western Ring Road and the usual stops along the way to respond to the various demands of our back-seat complainants, the journey took us around two hours instead of the 1 hour 20 minutes that it should have taken. 

So we arrived in Ballarat right on midday and decided to stop for lunch first. As always, BallFiend insisted on having pasta and therefore Thumper got the same (we have learned to always get her the same, otherwise she won't eat what she has and demands to eat BallFiend's food). 

As can clearly be seen, all was going quite well, until Thumper finished her meal. I carefully shifted my half-finished glass of wine out of her reach and then proceeded to wipe her hands and face before she left the table, only to catch my glass with my elbow and turn just in time to see it crash to the floor. It was just like in the movies... I watched as the glass seemed fall in slow motion, tumbling end over end, then the slow motion stopped as it hit floor and shattered into about one billion pieces. 

We made a hasty exit, stopped at a bakery for some afternoon tea supplies, then continued on to visit GGB.

Poor GGB had been ill last week - taken to hospital with vomiting - and being 95 years old, it really knocked her around a bit. CutLuce and DesignerMonkey took Cuz1 up last weekend to meet her great-grandmother for the first time and on their return, CutLuce told me how frail GGB had looked. So I felt quite relieved when I arrived to see her looking better than I was expecting... though she is definitely not the lively woman she was a few years, and even a few months, ago. 

GGB enjoyed watching Thumper and BallFiend play and even helped out with a puzzle that I had brought to keep Thumper entertained. 

We consumed our bakery treats. BallFiend and Thumper shared a croissant and GGB particularly enjoyed the lamingtons, so I got the snot-block all to myself and DeepSpice got the jam tart that had been intended for BallFiend. 

At 3.00 pm, we left GGB and gave the kids a quick run about in the playground across the road. It all ended in tears when Thumper decided to live up to her name by running into a pole and thumping her head, causing a good-sized egg to swell-up. So we loaded everyone into the car and went on our way home. 

Much like the journey to Ballarat, the journey home was plagued with slow patches due to roadworks. The recently-built Bacchus Marsh by-pass is now in operation, but obviously 'they' don't want the new road to get worn out, so one lane was blocked off, causing the traffic to dawdle along at 10kph for a couple of kilometres. Most of the rest of the journey was uneventful, apart from BallFiend kicking my seat, and Thumper repeatedly dropping her blankie and waterbottle, making me reach around awkwardly to pick them up for her. BallFiend did a reasonable job of keeping Thumper entertained by tickling her foot with his foot - bringing about endless rounds of giggling. And the colourful music of Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass kept BallFiend in good spirits.

Eventually we reached the dreaded Western Ring Road, and of course, the traffic slowed to a crawl. It took about 25 minutes to travel around 2 kilometers! Finally we reached our turn-off and stopped by Gran and GrandPaul's house where a nice glass of red bubbles awaited us. The kids were offered dinner, and refused on the grounds of cake already consumed. Then once again, we packed everyone back into the car and finally got home at about 6.00 pm.


Though it was lovely to see Great Gran Billy, overall, it was a rather exhausting day - especially for DeepSpice who did all the driving. ...if only we could teleport to Ballarat.
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Thanks Alex!

I took BallFiend to his swimming lesson this morning and Thumper for a paddle in the toddlers' (cess) pool. Then after a quick sandwich for lunch, we continued on to do a (fool's) errand for DeepSpice - to get him some masonite pegboard, measuring 1220 x 915 mm, and also to exchange some wonky hooks for said pegboard.

After much cruising around the aisles of the local hardware mega-warehouse (which I have to admit, I quite like doing), I finally found the required items, tested 50 hooks in the pegboard in order to find 6 non-wonky ones. Then I took BallFiend and Thumper via the playground for a quick play as a reward for their patience (which was rather thin by this time as they were tired out after their swim).

Once the obligatory playground stop-off was complete, I headed straight for the checkout. Halfway there BallFiend announced at the top of his lungs: "I have a pooooooo!!!" then he turned and ran in the direction of the toilets. I hurried along behind him, pushing the trolley with an extra-wide load of pegboard on it.

After the toilet stop-off, we finally reached the check out, where I had to explain to BallFiend for the 1000th time that "No you cannot have a ball and just because they gave you a free one last time doesn't mean they will give you one this time!"

Finally back at the car with the pegboard, I carefully positioned the trolley so it won't roll out onto the road (with Thumper still on board) by placing it in the mouth of the trolley bay, which was right next to our car. (I always park next to trolley bays if I can - having learned that this is the best place to park when you have small kids in tow).


BallFiend started to use the railings of the trolley bay as monkey bars, while I carefully removed the board from the trolley and tried to put it into the back of the car. All good so far, except that DeepSpice forgot to mention that a 1220 x 915 mm piece of board will not fit in our car!! At this point Thumper threw her banana out of the trolley and wailed, and BallFiend fells over the bars and whacked his shin, then a man arrived wanting to get a trolley out from behind my Thumper-laden trolley.

Thankfully he recognised my look of despair and offered to help strap the pegboard to the roof rack. (By help, I mean do it for me.) This allowed me time to attend to Thumper and allowed BallFiend time to pester the man's daughter: "What's your name? What's your name? Mum, she won't tell me her name!!"

With the pegboard firmly secured on the roof rack, I loaded the kids into the car and we departed for home. But not before BallFiend had one last tantrum - he wanted to know the man's name, screaming after him as he walked away "What's your name? What's your name?!" I managed to appease BallFiend by telling him that the man's name was Alex and his daughter's name was Sarah.

So, if anyone asks...
--

The terrible twos

"Nooooooooo!"

"That's MINE!

"I do it the self."

"Look at me!"

"I did it."

- Thumper, aged 22 months.

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Potty Scoreboard update

We've continued to have lots of potty-playtime over the past few months, and the floor has maintained its strong lead, scoring well ahead of potty.

Yesterday saw the introduction of a new player on the field - the cot. Yep, I had my first ever poo-in-the-cot incident after Thumper, during her nap-time, did a poo and then decided to remove her nappy (presumably it was uncomfortable). Thankfully she didn't get it everywhere, but the nappy had tipped over on its side, spilling some of the contents onto her sheets and blankets. So the entire bedding had to be changed. And that was the end of nap-time (and my hopes for an hour or two of quiet time!)

I couldn't be mad though, because when I went in to find out what all the crying was about, Thumper was standing in the corner of her cot, very distressed, saying "I dun a poo! I dun a poo!".

But maybe the game is turning around... just now, Thumper did another successful wee on the potty. Congratulations Thumper!
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Night terrors

I just found this in an email I sent to VolubleK on 6 April 2007 when BallFiend was 8 months old. Really glad his (and Thumper's) sleeping patterns are much better these days. (At least, mostly much better. I have probably just jinxed myself by writing this post!)

BallFiend appears to have permanently given up sleep. Last night went like this: 

7.15 pm - bed, asleep by 7.30 pm. So far, so good.
11.15 pm - wakes up
11.20 pm - DeepSpice attempts to resettle him to no avail.
11.30 pm - breastfeed (I assume he is hungry as he didn't feed that well at 7pm, and wouldn't eat much by way of solids for dinner at 5pm)
12.00 am - resettled back in cot
1.15 am - still screaming, non-stop since 12.00 am
1.20 am - breastfeed again, this time in our bed.
1.50 am - Finally falls asleep... at breast but I don't care!
2.15 am - wakes and cries a bit. Shove the dummy in.
2.20 am - asleep again
4.10 am - wakes up and cries a lot
4.15 am - shove the breast in, since the dummy didn't work
4.30 am - BallFiend finishes feeding, starts giggling. I prod DeepSpice and make him put BallFiend in his cot. Silence - presumed asleep
6.45 am - wakes up, talking to himself in the cot
7.20 am - grizzling now, so I get him up, feed him and then give him his porridge for breakfast.
No idea what has gotten into him. I am not happy. Though he seemed to be! A bit tired looking this morning, but cheerful and playful as ever.  And when I put him to bed for his morning nap at 9 am, he went off to sleep with no complaints, just like usual.  grrrr.
Yours truly... with a yawn,
Stompy

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